My sis just diagnosed

Hello.  This is my first time posting on this forum (I post on the UC forum and occassionaly the Anxiety forum).  Anyway, my older sister (she is 26) was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder this past week.  She's having a very difficult time dealing with it.  I don't know very much about the disease but I was wondering if anyone could give me a bit of advice about how to approach her. She says she sometimes feels so depressed that she doesn't want to be a wife to her husband, or even a mother to her two very young children.  I just don't want her to get so down.  I want to let her know that it will get better once her medication begins working.  I don't want her to give up.  What can I do or say to help her at this difficult time?

Thank you and I hope you all have a great day.

Karen

Hi Karen,

The best advice I can give is to remember the illness first when dealing with difficult situations with your sister. Often reactions she has may seem personal, but they will be part and parcel of this illness -- even if that seems hard to believe, and even if she doesn't believe it. Don't throw the illness back in her face if she gets testy or depressed or anything ("well, that's just the bipolar talking" will absolutely go down a treat!), but do remember this when you are reacting to things that she says.

This will get easier once she's been through the diagnosis and has been found meds that help her, but I fully understand that this early stage will be tough for her -- and all those around her. As Ellie says, be there for her and make sure she knows she can reach out to you.

The other thing that will help you and others who are close to your sister is to do some research into the condition -- as well as into how it affects relationships with loved ones. I have found this has really helped me with my ex (who is also going through the mill with these early stages -- may be bipolar, may be ptsd). Sometimes I still react as if I don't know there's an illness (for which I kick myself repeatedly!!) but I *am* learning, and it *is* getting easier to separate him and his illness in my head.

Perhaps at some point your sister might even be open to the idea of coming here and discussing what she's going through -- that might help her a lot -- to see that she's not alone and to get advice from the wonderful peeps here who have so much experience that they can share with her.

Best wishes to you and (((Karen)))

Rosie x

Hi Karen,

So glad this forum is helping you gain a more positive outlook. -- Bipolar is so difficult to get your head round at first -- for sufferers and friends/family. Fortunately there are some great info resources out there, which can really help you to establish more of a sense of what's going on, even when your sister doesn't want to talk about it and/or acknowledge it (and there may well be instances of one or both of these things happening on her journey to recovery). A great book I found was The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide, by J. Miklowitz (I think those details are correct -- on loan to ex at present -- but you can find it in the resources/books section on the right-hand side of the page). That was a real education for me -- as has been coming here and asking questions or letting things out.

With the Lamictal, one great thing is that it has a detailed website -- http://www.lamictal.com/ -- with info on the med as well as bipolar itself. Nothing in the details says to avoid alcohol on this med, but it's possible your sister is on others with it, and there may be instructions for thos. The other thing is that anyone with bipolar should be careful about there alcohol intake. -- Alcohol affects moods and that can be a trigger for an episode. Also, some bipolar sufferers use alcohol so "self-medicate" because it dulls things out -- but of course they resurge and then some when you come down from the alcohol. Is there a particular reason you asked about this? Is this something that you worry about with your sister?

You have a wonderful day too. -- Your sister is lucky to have you there for her.

Rosie x

Sounds like a good plan. Everyone needs a little break from time to time and with her emotional issues, she probably needs a little time to reconnect with the hubby. You're a good sister. Wish I had one like that.