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Posted 11/9/2006 3:02 PM (GMT 0)
Off to see the Psychiatrist for the first time since my hospital stay.
I've been waiting for this for so long... and now it's here, I'm scared.
My boyfriend is at work so he can't come with me.
I have to get there... sure it's really close, but my arms are killing me and I have to wheel myself there.
And I'm just scared of talking to someone now.
I've been trying to ignore it as much as I can and function normally since hospital, though it's not really been possible, but now I have to bring it all out into the open again.
That's a bit scary.

I'm scared that I won't explain myself properly and he'll just think I'm fine, just a bit depressed, and that I don't need help.
I'm scared that I will explain myself too well and he'll want to lock me away for a long time.
I'm scared he won't understand.
I'm scared he will understand.

I don't want to go, but I know I really, really have to.
I have to do this.
It's the best thing.

Please think of me!

Nicola
Posted 11/9/2006 5:57 PM (GMT 0)
OK I'm back.
It wasn't so bad really, though the doctor was about 25 minutes late, so I got a bit twitchy in the waiting room!
He doesn't have my notes from the hospital or the community mental health team as I wasn't really meant to see him, my GP just got fed up of me having to wait so long so booked me in with him.
So he gave me some medications to see how they go for 3 weeks, whilst I see the CMHT and he can get all my notes and things. Then I see him again to see how the medications have helped, and to sort out long-term plans since he'll have my full history then.

The medications I've got are: Lofepramine, which is also called Feprapax or Gamanil (those names might be more recognisable to Americans). I'm to take that every night. It's to help the depression, which I really need!
And then, because I said I needed something to stop the bad manic episodes, he gave me Quetiapine, which is called Seroquel in America. I'm to take that when I'm in a really bad manic phase.
So, hopefully things are looking up!
Posted 11/9/2006 7:12 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Nicola -- So sorry I missed your post before you went to the doc -- but glad you're still in one piece!! :)

Well done to your gp for fixing this up for oyu. -- I know the guy was late and didn't have your history, but he's sorted you on the most important stuff for the time being: getting you on meds to start managing the condition. I'm glad you have the Seroquel for the mania. Did the doc discuss possible long-term mood stabiliser meds with you? (Seroquel, as you point out really, is more a crisis med.) Well, either w3ay, you've started getting the right help. Do keep a watchful eye on how things go with the meds over the next few weeks. Without a mood stabiliser anti-depressants can trigger mania, so watch for signs and make sure you keep the Seroquel to hand. If there's any problem at all with anything you've been prescribed (which I hope there won't be!!), do get straight back to the pdoc, ok?

How are things otherwise? Hope all's going smoothly now. This is always the part of the semester when I start feeling exhausted (doesn't help that my panic attacks are back...), and it takes a week or two to push through it!

Rosie x
Posted 11/9/2006 7:37 PM (GMT 0)
I'm going to keep a really close eye on it all, Rosie.
I've been in a lot of pain recently so I've been pretty depressed, which hasn't helped anything!
I'm hoping that these meds and the physio I start on Monday will finally start to sort things out and I'll be able to catch up with Uni work ok because I won't have the depression.
It really is the dip though; half way through first term... it's a bit of a struggle yeah, but this should help me get through it all!

Nicola
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