gal,
you are learning and you are growing. no, you canot fix anyone else, only yourself. the most that you can do for another person is to FACILITATE their wellness. and you are absolutely right, you must always beyourself. as polonius says in hamlet, "and this above all, to thine own self be true." of course he was a bombastic piece of commic relief. 
i have met some people with chrones. not a very pleasant ailement. one of my closest friends had almost all of his large intestine removed, a bit at a time. but he pushed himself to work even after he retired. he said that if he weren't working he somehow felf like he was cheating.
i hurt, therefore i'm alive. the pain is sometimes too much for me to bear, even with the mophine. but those episodes don't last too long (thank god!). as i have said before, i have lived a lot of lives during this incarnation. some of them have been fun. others have make hell seem like a great alternative. but in each of these lifetimes i have aquired experiences and insights - some on what do to do and others on what works most efficiently. i enjoy sharing these experiences and insights so that others don't have to go through the pain that i have endured. i cast my bread upon the waters, as another jew gone bad once said. sometimes i make people angry when they don't want to question their beliefs. oh, well. sometimes i save someone from harm. that's a big mitzvah. look at it in terms of karma. i have generated a great deal of negative karma during this incarnation. sharing what i have learned provides positive karma for me.
hope this explanation helps explain who and what and where i am.
warren