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He wants to change my diagnosis

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Bipolar Disorder
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Posted 6/21/2007 5:23 AM (GMT 0)

I have been on Zoloft, Lexapro, 10, 20, 30 and now Cymbalta 30mgs 1X daily.  it is working a little bit, I know because when I ran out I was off for 3 days and crashed badly.  It is just not working the way I would like to.  I want to be happy.  I want the good feelings from a good song to last beyond the end of the song.  I want to stop wanting to run, quit, or even hurt myself.  I have not done it- but the urge is there almost daily.  I want to stop the pain in my chest and the headache every day.  I want to fill the void I feel.  I want to feel the love of my husband.

every day has the good parts and bad parts.  some days are better than others.  on a chart of 1-10 they look like 4-5-6-2-1-2-3-4-4-5-5-3-4-5-6-3-3-4-5-2  the good days are always followed by the bad ones.  The day goes like that too.  up and down all day.  No really good times, but not all one bad either.

The phyc has wanted to add mood stableizers for the last 2 visits, but I fight him b/c of the side effects.  Now I don't care.  I am loosing hope that I will ever get better on the depression meds alone.  it seems to make the cycle even worse, anyway.  Now he is doubleing the Cymbalta to 60 mgs and adding Lemietah (sp?).  the side effects are funky, but if it works, I no longer care.

he said that he thinks I may be BiPolor II, instead of classic depression.  I don't get the manic, but the symptioms are only getting wore with the SSRI's alone, so that may say BiPolor.  I start school in the fall for the 1st time in 10 years.  I need to get better in the next 2 months b/c I can't handle school and depression/Bipolor too.

I hate this.  I'm loosing hope.  talk me out of this.

Posted 6/21/2007 5:59 AM (GMT 0)

Christina,

The fact that you have energy for a few days and then crash maybe the reason your Dr. diagnosed you as BPII.  If it were just depression, then you wouldn't have the highs, it would just be lows and normals.

If you do have BPII, then you do not want to be on SSRIs alone for that makes your up and downs worse and more frequent (I cannot take any SSRIs I don't react well to then been on 2 so far).

People thing as BP as manic only disorder.  There are different degrees of mania.  There is Mania, Hypomania, Cyclothymia (milder form or hypomania), Mixed state, Rapid cycling, then there are depressive episodes.

In your diagnisis of BPII, you probably experience a few days of high production, with ideas flowing and accomplicing things you've wanted to do for a while (lasts up to 4 days).  Or just new things that come to you, which is only followed by a loss of energy, ideas just slipping away, not wanting to move and even a sense of depression, which is usually shortlived.  It's not like the usualy depression which lingers for months if not years.  Then you are somewhat back to normal again and wonder how you got there in the 1st place.

Please let me know if I am wrong about all of this.  :-)

Posted 6/21/2007 8:29 AM (GMT 0)

I noticed at the end of your post a question.  I will be praying for you. My husband and I have had some very bumpy months since he was diagnosed bipolar. Don't give up. As long as we have breath in our body there is HOPE.

 

I edited some lines of your post because of Forum Rule #10

10. No posts of an overtly political or religious nature OR posts promoting advocacy of particular personal, medical, legal, religious, political, or non-profit causes.  The forums are intended for offering mutual personal support.  Debating controversial subjects should be taken elsewhere.  Limited religious references are allowed (ie. "my prayers are with you" or a brief quote as part of a larger post), but the forums should not be used to convert others. 

Post Edited By Moderator (olivia of course) : 6/21/2007 9:35:10 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 6/21/2007 4:07 PM (GMT 0)
Christina:

Hang in there, it really can get better. I was diagnosed with depression for years and my original psych actually stopped treating me because he said he "just didn't know what else he could do." I would be better for a week and then go down again. I would start to feel okay and then get really angry and irritated. I couldn't concentrate on anything. And then my mood would crash again. I never got the super-highs of mania, so he never even considered bi-polar. But I changed docs, and my new doc said, "It's BP II" put me on Lamictal, and it's really helped. It's not a cure all. I have up and down times just like everyone. We all do. And no drug works the same for everyone. But trust your doc and give it a shot. It's better than feeling like a black hole all the time, isn't it?

serafena
Posted 6/21/2007 4:10 PM (GMT 0)
Christina,

Hang in there, and know we are here for you if you need us. :-)
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