havent posted in awhile but im really down

its been quite a while since i posted but i read pretty much every day. ill give you a brief little history of whats goin on.  im BP1 and i started getting manic a little while ago. i was having nightmares that would wake me up into a massive anxiety attack. my pdoc raised my geodon however and they pretty much went away. then my neuro put me on a new med for my tremors and now im extremely depressed and apathetic. everythinhg is an effort, and i just cant concentrate. my pdoc thinks its the mew med for the tremors and she raised my lamictal but i just feel like i cant wait for it to work. feeling this hopeless darins me and every day i get up thinking how am i going to make it thru another day. i truly dont know. anyhow i had therapy today and that helped a little but i needed to tell people who understand, as i know all of you do. how do you distract yourselves when it gets this bad? i just need some friendly words, literary hugs i guess. my family is sympathetic but they dont understand. so i need to just talk to someone who does.

so thank you for letting me go on

bunny

bunnypucker,

I am sorry you are depressed.  I am too.  And you bring up a good point--what do we do when this happens?  How can we get through it?

It really depends on how bad the depression is.  Lately for me, it's been crippling, and so coping has been very difficult.  But I do try.

My advice to you...

It is good to distract yourself a bit while in this state.  Distraction, so that you can get to relaxation.  Try to just take things hour by hour.  If doing relaxing things helps you feel even a tiny bit better, do those things.  Reach out to your professional support to help get you through this.  Reach out to your loved ones who support you.  It's not the greatest being alone when we feel this way. 

I hope this helps you a little, since I am in such a state right now, it's hard for me to even think of everything right now.  I will check in on you (this post)...Let us know how you are doing.

Hugs.

thank you guys so much for responding, i really needed it. some days are just ok and some days are like you, crippling. thanksgiving sucked really bad. i have crohns so eating is a huge issue for me and for some reason that day the depression was really really bad. i watched the parade and i was ok but as i was getting ready to go to grammas it hit me like a truck. couple that with my stomach really hurting me and feeling sick i was a mess. i tried laying down and that didnt work and i ended up sitting in the living room by myself crying for like 15 minutes until i finally went to my family and asked them to move cars so i could go home.

i just feel like crying all the time, and i am listless. i do have my distractions, i try to get out even if it is to the grocery store and i knit a lot, i really like that. i have therapy again next week so thatll help. im also going tanning and taking viatmin d to see if thatll help.

but thanks for your support. i hate it that i come back only when i get bad becasue i feel like i abandon you guys. but i do appreceiate the kind words and the understanding, that is what i need most. someone who undertands most. hopefully my meds will kick in soon and help. if not in 3 weeks i go to see my pdoc and if im not better by then, im going to go off the medication for my tremors. its a hard decision becasue it has helped but its decreasing the effectiveness of my head meds and my mental health is more important to me.

ah, oh well thanks for being a sounding board, i needed to get it all out.

bunny