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Posted Today 7:55 PM (GMT 0)
sad   I'm having some trouble.  I'm so confused right now. This week has been high energied and stuff I can't even explain it.  Its been up and down all week. Right now I can't stop crying and now I've been having bad thoughts of hurting myself...which only appear for a little bit then disappear.  Then I'm not totally fine but I don't feel anything no more tears.  I really don't know why i'm thinking of these things nothings wrong. TT . TT  I hate feeling this way...advice is really helpful...I didn't want to post something so negative but I have no one to talk to. Shoot i'm crying again...which stinks.  I'm all over the place sorry...
Posted Today 11:33 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Kimmy,

I'm so sorry you're feeling all over the place today! sad

Can you try to find something to focus your thoughts on like perhaps a hobby, puzzle, or a favorite movie? Wen said she would find relief from coloring on paper or coloring books. When I was in the hospital, that helped me too! (Well, I too still do that at home! tongue I already bought some Christmas coloring books. It's amazing how those around me start to pick up crayons too and start to color with me. I guess it's soothing for a lot of people. (My kids are older too, 25,21&19)

I remember you saying in chat that you needed to make an appt. to get your lithium levels checked. Maybe something is off kilter and could be the reason for how you are feeling. Can you try to get in Monday for that?

Is there somebody you can call, that may want to spend the evening with you, watching tv, a movie or just chit chatting and having some hot coco/tea? 

I hope you get over this hump, until you can see your doctor too. Let him/her know what you have been going through all week.  Good Luck Kimmy...and get rid of those nasty thoughts just as quickly as they pop into your head. nono

Talk with you soon! (((((BIG HUGS)))))) smurf

Posted 12/2/2007 1:06 AM (GMT 0)
I like coloring too. tongue Definitely helps calm me down.

Kimmy,

I'm sorry you're feeling so icky. Both energized and sad is particularly scary -- that's where I've been lately. Obviously you need to call someone before you do anything silly -- a friend, hop on the board here and type your little heart out, whatever it takes to get your mind off of hurting yourself. Call a hotline if you need to. But Sukay is right. Even if your lithium levels checked out okay, something isn't working right, so call your doc ASAP and get an appt. You need a med evaluation.

In the meantime, hang in there and do all of the things that are comforting to you: Orlando Bloom movies, manicures, talk to your friends, whatever it takes.

serafena
Posted 12/2/2007 1:43 AM (GMT 0)
((hugs)) always good when feeling down...well there always good anyways.
I called my mom to tell her I wasn't feeling well and ask when she was getting home. Luckily it was early but in the mean time I finally calmed down. By then I stopped crying and feeling bad that I was able to draw a picture for my friend whose in Marine bootcamp. I always want to bring him cheerful letters and drawings that it forces me to focus my energy on a better thing. Luckily that took my attention away from everything. thank you very much for responding. I'm so glad I found this place. I feel all right now except for a headache. I hope tomorrow is better I don't think I can handle another crazy day >.< I was never a fan of coloring >.< never could stay in the lines hehe

Thanks Sukay and Serafena again
Posted 12/2/2007 1:46 AM (GMT 0)
Perhaps some silly nail polish then? A nice purple or blue?
Posted 12/2/2007 2:34 AM (GMT 0)
Ooooh I think that will be nice to do. a pretty color would be good. good choices...I wish i had purple now that i think of it
Posted 12/2/2007 11:20 PM (GMT 0)
:-)  Hi Kimmy,

I just wanted to touch base with you today and see how you are feeling? I hope everything is going a little better for you right now.

I was just wondering...when was your last appt. with your doctor? I'm thinking it may be a good idea to get in contact with him/her and let them know what a difficult time you had. The doctor should hear about this and it may be time for a med adjustment.

Keep us posted, and I hope you're having a better day.

(((Hugs)))

Posted 12/3/2007 9:26 PM (GMT 0)
I'm doing better thankfully. I'm exhausted and just want to sleep right now but theres too much that needs to get done. I don't think I'll get them done...I'll worry about that later.
My last appointment was maybe a week ago...right before everything went bad. I'll try to make an appointment sooner than the one I have now which is in January I think.
Thank you for asking how I was! No unwanted thoughts so far...which is always good.
Hope your doing well!
Posted 12/6/2007 6:37 AM (GMT 0)
Hiya Kimmy,

 

Just thinkin about you. Hope everything is going okay. Just checkin up on you! smurf

Posted 12/6/2007 6:28 PM (GMT 0)
  :-) Thank you for thinking of me ^ . ^

  I am doing much much better.  I'm finally out of my funky state and am putting a christmas party together for my friends on the 21st with gift exchange little stockings for everyone and all the works.  tongue I went back to my old job and asked if they were hiring Ray said no but said maybe he can make an acception so I'm happy that will take care of mean bill collectors nono   they can be so pushy.  So I'm very good right now!

How have you been doing?

Posted 12/6/2007 9:15 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Kimmy, I totally understand what you are going through, but don't forget if you don't take care of yourself you cannot be helpful to yourself or to anyone else.  You have to be your own first priority and make sure you are getting everything that you need.  I know this first hand, as I just got out of the hospital last night and part of the reason I ended up there in the first place is because I wasn't properly taking care of myself.  I wasn't eating, I wasn't sleeping, and my meds still were not at their most effective strength as we were still increasing them.  Sometimes there is only so much you can do to help yourself and you have to rely on doctors and professionals to help you.  But other times, you can do a lot to help yourself and I think there are a couple of things you can do for you.  You can take this with a grain of salt, but I am going to put my 2 cents in for you -it doesn't mean you have to listen to it though. If you are on Lithium and you have any doubts about whether your level is within the therapeutic range, then immediately call your doc to to get the order/necessary paperwork  to have this simple blood test done.  I have also gone through the Lithium Toxicity recently and have had to switch to another medication.  But if you are toxic or are starting to get toxic, it can lead to dangerous levels.  There are a variety of symptoms that you can exerience while toxic, including but not limited to - stumbling, increased thirst, increased urination, vision problems drowsiness, weakness, nausea, fatigue, hand tremors. Kimmy, I hope you find a hobby or something to do that will keep your mind occuppied and keep you busy.  I know you said earlier that you don't like coloring, that's okay - I happening to really like it and I actually get into it and end up blocking out whatever else is going on around me.  If you don't like coloring, what about painting, knitting, crocheting, etc.  I know you were asking about sewing in another post - I love to sew and have been doing it off and on since I was a teen (which was 20+ years ago - LOL).  I sew lots of things, clothes, curtains, bedspreads, etc.  It's another great way for me to escape and totally lose track of time and what's going on around me.  If you want any help that I could provide, let me know. Wen
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