Just wondering how our gang is doing?

Hey Gang

I've been thinking about all of you around here and some of us just post a lot to others but haven't shared too much of how YOU are doing. I didn't want to post to each one of you individually, because that would just take up too much room. So, I thought if we could all just post a little something about how we're doing we could all get an idea of what's going on with everybody around here.

Sukay:  I've been feeling really good. I finally got all the steriods out of my system and I'm truly doing good on this latest med adjustment now that I can see how IT is actually working for me without the steriod influence.

 

I've been getting out of the house and doing fun things.  about a week and 1/2 ago I made a date with my daughter (21) and we went to Archives and picked out stuff for me to make my own Christmas cards this year and then we went out to lunch together. Friday my son (25) asked if I wanted to go Christmas shopping with him and we had lots of fun together and also went out to lunch together. When I got home I helped my hunny finish decorating the outside of the house for Christmas. I've been spending a lot of time in the kitchen over the weekend baking 2 cakes on Saturday (one for my hubby and one for my other son's girlfriend... he is 19) Today I made breakfast for the whole family as we finally were all together at one time. My eldest son lives on his own, so it was surprising that he came over so early....(probably looking for exactly what I offered him...lol) Then I made my homemade sauce and meatballs to go with the moscatoli. I fed the full house as everyone was watching the football games. I've been very busy, but enjoying it all the way. I keep saying there aren't enough hours in my day. When I finally find time to just relax I realize it's time to go to bed already! This whole week I plan to get out for a little bit each day to do some Christmas shopping without rushing about it. So...2 tumbs up for me right now.

Sukay:

It's so nice to hear you're doing so well right now. I like your description of time with your family. It makes me look forward to when my daughter will be older; but not so much I'd miss a moment of her being small right now.

I think I'm doing better in small steps. We've got Rosie in a great daycare finally and she LOVES IT!!!!! I never would have predicted. At first she whimpered a bit when we took her, now she gets excited. Sure helps with the guilt about leaving the stay-at-home mom thing behind. I guess when you're an only child, it's fun to be around other kids. In the meantime I'm working lots more at the bookstore and that helps me shake out lots of my extra energy and I get lots more adult contact, so it's really helping me. Plus my husband and I don't trip over each other so much and it's better.

I'm still depressed, and still over-anxious. Lots of social-anxiety. Huge waves of guilt if I feel I say something stupid -- you know, any little thing I should just slough off -- I'm obsessing over. And I'm still manic-y anxious. The topomax makes me not really want to eat much, but my doc put me on a new anxiety pill which won't make me drowsy -- serax. Sounds like a weapon to me.

So that's me... Hope everyone chimes in. It's a great idea Sukay. I've been wondering how people are too -- and you all are pretty quiet this week.

Great idea....thanks for thinking of everyone! I am glad to hear you had such a wonderful family time.

I had a nice time with my 15 yr. old sister this weekend. We saw some movies, she slept over, I let her drive my car to get some practice in, and we went with my mom to visit my grandma.

On the flip side...I have been having some major panic attacks...so my pdoc has increased my topamax gradually and I am @ 175 for the next few days until I get to 200. I am on 1 mg of Xanax XR, but I am still struggling. I finally got my sleep study results back last week , and I have moderate/severe sleep apnea, I was fitted for my mask, and I am just waiting for my CPAP machine. I was so hopeful last week and I just want to feel better and everyone I talk to with sleep apnea says what a difference it makes. I call every day to check on the status, but it is caught up between the medical supply place and the insurance company, now they are saying 7 - 10 days. I know everyone is busy...but COME ON!!!  I just want to feel better. It is a viscious cycle. I am doing everything I am supposed to be doing and it is taking forever to feel better. The sleep apnea drains my energy..the fatigue is terrible...no desire to do anything...depression...then throw in my allergies and my eating disorder. I have not been eating well at all. EXCEPT for yesterday and today. I finally took a stand and said....I know what works and I know what doesn't....so JUST DO IT.

Another thing....My pdoc was supposed to recommend a therapist (within her group) three weeks ago and that hasn't happened, no matter how many messages I leave. And to make matters worse, the pdoc's secretary keeps getting my FMLA and STD paperwork wrong, so I haven't been paid for my Leave of Absence from my hospital stay. 

Sorry for venting....but I am trying to get healthy and I am trying to work on myself...but it is going so slow. I feel like I am hitting road blocks. Also, I haven't talked to Michael in over a week and I miss him very much.