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Posted 11/15/2012 10:09 PM (GMT 0)
Hello-

My sister had a reoccurence of breast cancer in January, after living as a "breast cancer survivor" for 8 years.  It had metastasized primarily to her liver.  She was doing remarkably well with chemo, often called the "miracle child" by those in her doctor's office.  Several weeks ago, after experiencing bad headaches, she was diagnosed with carcinogenic meningitis (cancer in brain fluid and spinal fluid).  As a result, she has undergone radiation and is also getting chemo via an Ommaya Reservior.  She has always been so positive and upbeat, but seems to be getting very depressed now.  (She has many limitations, including not being able to drive, and with 18 and 15 year old daughters, she is feeling very inadequate.)  Financial stresses for her and her husband are not making things any easier for her.

I am looking for any suggestions as to how to cheer her up, give her a sense of hope, etc.  I always said she is the one in the family who has remarkable strength, and I just hate to see her in this state of mind...

Thank you!!  :)

 

Posted 12/2/2012 9:54 PM (GMT 0)
Hi,
It's hard to watch those we love sick and there is nothing we can do to take the disease away, or her pain.

However, you are her sister and her dear friend. Also, I can see you're a support system for her and her family. Her children and husband is your sister's concern and so if there is anything you can do to ease her mind, by preparing meals for them, buy gifts for the holidays or just listen to her...

Christmas is a time for family and peace. For my mother who battled cancer, our entire family consisting of my grandmother, aunts, uncles, cousins, my siblings and their families got together for a large family dinner on Christmas Day. The doctor gave my mother a day pass and it was what she needed. It gave her family and a sense of peace.

A community hall would donate the space and it could be a pot luck affair. If leaving the hospital is out of the question, see if there is a room in the hospital for a party, even if the cafeteria has to cater. It doesn't have to be a big affair, just a chance for her to see and feel the love.

From one sister to another, I'm sending a virtual hug. I hear your pain. Chin up... wink

Post Edited (thinkpos) : 12/2/2012 2:57:45 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 12/3/2012 2:08 PM (GMT 0)
Is there any possibility of contacting a support group in your area? Maybe someone would be willing to drive her to meetings or at least visit. It's so hard for a cancer patient to talk to friends and relatives who do not have experience, but many of us who have lived with this listen differently and patiently.
Posted 12/3/2012 11:15 PM (GMT 0)
Yes, Alcie, that is an idea that we are trying to investigate! I think she is pretty reluctant to "burden" friends and relatives with her true feelings- so perhaps those who have "walked the same road" would be very comforting to her! (We are also looking into a therapist that has experience dealing with cancer patients.) Hopefully we will make some progress with this in the next few weeks or so (right now she is dealing with a leak from her Ommaya reservoir- they tried stitching it today and hopefully that will hold- if not, she has to go in for more surgery to have it replaced.... wish she could just catch a break for once!!)

And thanks, thinkpos, for the hug and your thoughts! My sister has been home since mid-November- we did Thanksgiving at her house and everyone brought a dish- it just seemed a little overwhelming to her- perhaps she just needs to gain a little more strength before we do something like that again... (we have been trying to space out the company since then so that things remain somewhat calm...)
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