Having a bad day ......

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Cathi))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

As if the cancer itself were not enough of a problem.....I'm so sorry to hear about your situation at work. I say don't let your boss steamroll you. If you were due the money then fight for it. THEN consider going on disability. Lord knows you deserve an easier time of things.

Sending prayers your way, friend.

Julie

First, I think you should have gone out on disability a long time ago. You have just been pushing so hard. Who did get the $600 commission you earned?

Now, about the work situation. I hope that the bãstard who is doing this to you rots in hëll for what they're doing.

Cathi, the one thing, in my mind, that would show I had really beat this dämned disease was when I could go back to work. I was out for 2 years. The first day I went back, I was told that I needed to take long-term disability because I would be laid off at the end of the month. I also knew that I wasn't physically capable of doing it again.

Well, it's been 9 1/2 years since I've worked, with a 90-day break early in the second year, and I don't miss it at all. Your physical situation is worse than anything I've had and I just hope that we can make you see you don't need the aggravation.

If you decide to continue working, then you must let me help you. Coming from the South, I've learned the art of the attitude adjustment using a variety of weapons.

Love You, Jo-Ann

I can not believe those two are doing this to you... I am almost mad enough to brave that darned turnpike to straighten them out. Love ya, and talk later Joyce

Been there done that myself. You might remember after I was off work for two months with IV antibiotics because of my infection, I was called into the bosses office and it was suggested perhaps I would like to work part time and the woman who was helping me on a contract basis part time would take my job. I learned of a couple of meetings that were held where it was suggested that I had made mistakes in the way over time was calculated, which I had not. It was made to sound like my friend and co-worker had been working behind my back to take my job. (I learned later that was not true at all.)

I was posting on the board just like you madder than a wet hen. I spent the weekend composing a letter which was quite long letting my boss know exactly how I felt about their suggestion and how hurt I was. On Monday morning I went in early and went directly to his office. I handed him the letter and told him I had put in writing what I was about to say because I did not want any confusion or misunderstanding as to detail and then I verbally told him just how angry I was and how I felt I had been kicked when I was down.

A day or so later he called me into his office with the second in command and they told me they were sorry and I could do what I needed to get well and things would stay status quo. By that time I felt fluid filling up in the abdominal wall again, and I told them I would need to go back on IV antibiotics again and wouldn't be able to work. That was the last I worked except for going in a couple of hours to help at the end of the year and to do some special things.

My disability pay was a godsend and it lasted until February 2005. I will be ever thankful that I had the disability insurance because with SS disability it was just about as much as my paycheck and I didn't have to buy gas, clothes, lunches and I could stay home and play on my computer and talk to my breast friends.

When God closes one door he opens another, I believe the saying goes. If you have disability insurance you probably will be better off than working part time anyhow. Just be sure to leave a lasting impression. Incidently, several months after I was gone my boss called me into his office when I was visiting my friends for lunch. He apologized to me and told me he had no idea how much I had done for the company all those years, and he was very sorry that he ever suggested what he did, and his eyes had tears in them so I knew he was not just blowing smoke.

Hope you get things resolved the way you want, but I agree with Jo-Ann you should not be trying to work. Quilting is enough work. LOL.

Big hugs and lots of love, MK

Cathi: I am so sorry that your boss is being a jerk! I agree with what everyone else has said. I think that you ought to go and demand the $600.00. You earned it. To heck with him making YOU feel quilty. HE is the one that should feel the quilt. He knows how you have worked, even though you have been so ill. When I was rediagnosed with cancer, I had to be off to have all of the tests run. I think that I probably missed about 2 full days of work in 3 weeks during that time. I worked 24/7 for this company. (Rainbow sweeper distributor...Marketing Director) Well, when I went in and told my boss that I was going to have to go back on chemo but that I had it scheduled for Fri afternoons, so it wouldn't interfer w/ my work, he calmly looked at me and said "you're fired" as of today. Now, because he didn't have 5 fulltime employees, I couldn't hit him w/ a discrimination suit. But, you can and I believe that you should remind your boss of this. Don't think about HIS feelings. Remember, he is getting paid the big bucks.

I am on full disability now. The money isn't what I made working, far from it but at least I don't have to fight w/ ignorant bosses and coworkers anymore. Give yourself a break. Get your $600 and then tell him to shove it! Be kind to yourself.

Hugs and prayers...Deb

Cathy-

Just want to give you a big (((((HUG)))))) girlfriend!  Wish your troubles would just melt away, but I would write a formal letter like MK said and give it to him.  Maybe once its on paper in black and white and he can read it a couple times he'd see your point of view?

good luck, and hope you get your strength back soon

hugs....Stef

Cathi,

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. Yes, only you can make the disability decision. But as a person on disability, I can tell you that it was hard leaving work but absolutely the best and probably the only right decision for me. After my first bout with cancer and the transplant, I went back to work. Two weeks later, I was told that I had the beginnings of cervical cancer and needed a hysterectomy. I asked if I could wait until the next summer for the surgery and she said yes, if they did a cone procedure and took out the cells around it. So I had the surgery in the summer of 1999. I went back to work again. I had been out of work for a whole year with the first cancer. The second cancer came in April of 2000. I was out again the rest of that year and all the next since I had to live in St. Louis during treatments. That was enough I figured. I was so out of touch with my work and changes in the L.D. and English departments by then anyway. It was hard to walk out that day in April knowing that I would never come back. But I have had 5 wonderful years to do as I please. Once in a while a yellow school bus goes over my hill and think," Oh, yeah, school" There is life after work. Try to get the money coming to you first though. I like the idea of putting things in writing. Like MK said. Maybe he will read it and realize just what a ******* he is being. I'm all for you staying home and quilting and spending time with your family. Lots of love, Di

Nobody seems to like my idea to put the boss in the freezer with the rest of the turkeys...

I've been out of work since last year, and luckily my boss was kind about my being out, but my husband's boss isn't.
The only bad thing about filing for disability is that in two years your insurance will be moved to medicare or medicaid, I can't rememeber which, if you do not have your husband insuring as primary insurance. Your health is taking a beating with the stress. Do whatever you can to minimize it. I agree about asking for what was rightfully yours, and then going on disability. Peg's right, your family will love having you areound more.

Jen

Dear Cathi,

Sorry that all this bad stuff is happening to you. If your boss is your "old" boss from the time of the Texas trip, then he should be doubly ashamed. Get the money if you can, and maybe you ought to consider going on disability. All unnecessary aggravation and worry is not good for you, and the job falls in that category. Don't feel bad about taking disability or anything else that the government will deliver. After all you have been paying for it for however many years you've worked, and so have the rest of us. I'll give you part of mine! You'll find lots of fun things to do with your time away from State Farm.

Hope you had a great time at the wedding and that you and Luci will have a wonderful visit. Take care of yourself.

Love, Glenda