Mastectomy complications

Hope I say this right. In July of last year I was told I had non invasive ductal cancer. I was going to opt for other ways to deal with it until I found out family history which I had no knowledge of ...... Lots of cancer in my family I had 11 aunts one uncle. My own mom died early from cervical so we will never know , but out of the 11aunts 8of them had breast cancer or breast cancer related cancers and did research on cousins and there it was again a long history so I decided for a double mastectomy with reconstruct at same time. I was a previous smoker and quit about 3months before procedure. I had chosen the free flap. Well needless to say my operation was oct25 and here it is jan 2014 had one complication after the other plastic surgeon said it had never happened to him gonna try to make this short. My veins kept collapsing with each sew,he did what he could then because of dying skin 4 days was back in or this time they cut all the dead or dying skin away and cut the muscle from my back and brought them around only a portion of them died so cut that out. The breast area is healing nice but the dying skin across my belly from the tummy tuck from the free flap-just got worse so now I have been on a wound vac and although I am in still in a lot of pain it is healing there is still some dead skin that he clips off but it is very little. So now we are discussing skin grafts and expanders . I tried to keep it natural as possible thinking my body would be better off boy was I wrong. I don't know if it would have went better if I would have done the procedures separately but with all the complications, 2weeks in icu , kidney failure, and problems with my oxygen dropping maybe I should have just kept my cancerous boobs until it turned invasive cause at this point it just doesn't feel like its gonna get better

Oh yes I am still using the wound vac and I emailed my doc today letting him know I am still quite swollen and tender in the whole ab area so to me until he gets that fixed it would be useless if the swelling caused one of the grafts to pull apart, I can't take any more failures lol grrrrr even though l know it's not his fault and even with the vac if I got the grafts I still need to use it for Adweek have not found any groups yet my original breast doc will help me there on the 24. lots of my friends don't know how I still find any thing t to smile or laugh at but I do. Thank youso much for just talking time o out of your day to read and post a reply
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I'm a breast cancer survivor since 2010. I was detected with Breast cancer late because i had a breast implant surgery from Dr.Mclean's clinic in Toronto.

Debdidit,
If I were in your situation, I wouldn't do ANY more reconstruction for now. Those tissue expanders can wait. Get your body healed first and have some down time from all this chaos. I saw my plastic surgeon yesterday to discuss my fourth surgery (next month) and he said the failure and complication rate goes way down if you let your body stabilize for a while. He had me wait for two months after #3 to even talk to me about surgery #4 and now there will be another month wait til he does it. I want him to combine two repairs (muscles and pocket work) in the same area into one surgery so I don't have to have a #5, but he is reluctant and will only say he will "consider" it. With a history of infection, he said he would rather not have more than one area of incisions. That will obviously reduce the chances of another infection, but not eliminate it. Of course, having general anesthesia again is not without complications either. I hate it that cancer takes away our choices.

Skin grafts can work wonders. So can the right drugs. Hang in there. I can also recommend another website, breastcancer.org, where you can find thousands of women, some of whom have had your experiences.

Hey Deb, newly diagnosed with breast cancer. I been reading your posts every day for the last few days. It helps me to read post from other women who have gone through or are going through what i am about to step into the ring with. I cant relate to the infections and wounds as I have not had surgery yet, althugh i am scared. some of the things you said too i can relate to though, not being able to sleep for one, for different reasons, however lack of sleep or improper sleep can really take a toll on a person especially on us =(
Trying to wallow in self pity..don't confuse genuine greif with pity hun. It is very early for me and already i am painfully aware that we run a gambit of emotions some are not fun nice pretty or easy to deal with, but it is definatly not self pity! Self pity would be giving up and saying the hell with it what will be will be, you are obviously not giving up so feel what you feel ebrace it and know that feelings change for us like a cloudy day turns bright and visa versa sometimes through the course of a day we feel more than we felt in one day when we were not sick, or maybe we just more sensative to how we are feeling i don't knwo but i do know this I feel what I feel for a reason and no one should taketry to that away from me or anyone.
As for the last thing i have not had my right breast removed yet although i know it is inevitable as I have stage 4 cancer and im 45 years old, does that sound like self pity? lol, if it does that ok it make me mad, i had grand plans for my self and my husband, who just recently had a mild stoke. But if i put myself in your shoes, which is not to difficult for me to do, I can understand wanting to feel whole, and normal. Some will opt to have reconstructive surgery some will not. But the common thing we all have is that we do have to come to terms with the fact that we have breast cancer and it leaves scars. wanting to feel a sense of normalcy is totally ok you know, its not about impressing any one, its abut doing what is right for you. Breast Cancer im finding is a very personal thing, that we share with others who also are fighting to live, because with out support I don't think i could go it alone, but that does not change the fact that it is my body that has been invaded by cancer. i have no right to tell any one else how to fight their battle all i can do is sit on the side lines and cheer, comfort,cry, laugh, hope and pray with them for all of us, while i fight my fight, and hope that i have a cheering squad too lol =). How are you supposed to feel? you are supposed to Feel what ever you feel even if sometimes yu wish you could flick the switch to happy mode, we feel what we feel for a reason and it is not self pity hun. You know that silly song "Its my party and i'll cry if i want too, you would cry too if it happened to you!" that runs through my head a lot these days lol. Keep coming back hun here to listen and offer what comfort i can.
Hugs

Hey Deb, checking in. Feeling off kilter last couple of days, it is the oddest feeling, A mix of emotions all wrapped into one big ball, so If someone asked me how i was feeling i would have to answer honestly, which feeling do you want to know about lol. One Feeling i can unequivocaly say that is there is Gratitude, i am so grateful I'm not alone. That may sound selfish, but this is such a selfish disease! =( It takes so much and gives nothing back, I am just Grateful that there are women and men who are willing to give so much, so that the fact that this disease may take a lot from us, but there are women and men who are willing to give so much more. thank you every one and thank you Deb, your words mean a lot to me. Hugs for every one I have oddles of hugs to give away =).