I'm losing her fast and it hurts

 Hey girls...it hasn't been that long I posted about my mom...well her chemo is no longer working and today we got Hospice come to the house for the initial check in I suppose...As difficult as this is I do understand that sometimes people just can't win this dreadful disease...Mother has fault for over 14 years and she's holding her own at the moment...just keepin her out of pain is the only thing we are worried about now...the hospice nurse said something to me today that I will take to heart...she said Christa when your mother starts talking and brings up a name dont think she's just babbling...she is indeed talking to someone who is there and they are preparing her...I know as much pain that she's in right now it's the best thing for her to take His hand and finally rest...and it's the human part of me that doesn't want her to go...she's said she's lived a wondeful life and wants no tears...eventhough we know this is impossible I hold as strong as I can for her...I guess I'm so torn right now...anyone care to tell me what they think...???...

I know just how you are feeling. The last words I ever said to my mother were, "It's okay to go now, Mom. Go towards the light and Pop will be on the other side. I love you, Mom". She left shortly after that. Mother had lost a leg to diabetes and suffered a very bad stroke. As much as I miss her, I just couldn't pray for her to stay with me, but had to pray that God's will be done.

I will now ask you, what will you pray for? No one is really dead until they are forgotten. I cannot forget my Mitchell and my parents. They were all with me when I found my first gray hair and laughed like hêll about it. I'm sure they're up there now having just a grand old time.

I will pray for you and your mother. A time like this is never easy and I discovered that it is okay to cry if you need to. We'll be here with hugs and tissues.

Jo-Ann

Your mom will be in a beautiful place and have no more pain,your in my prayers.   Tammy

Christa

I lost my wonderful mother to cancer too, we stood by her side for 2 weeks until she was gone. It still has been the hardest things I have ever been thru but something I could never replace. We were able to say how much we loved each other and give lots of hugs. Iam so glad that I was able to be there, I would not have been able to deal with not saying goodbye.

May I make some suggestions?? There are alot of things I never asked my mom that I wish that I would have, so if there is anything you want answered thank God that you have the chance. I stood next to her side, held her hand and was able to kiss her goodbye when she breathed her last breath.

Just remember leaving this world does not mean she is gone, she is in a better place resting and waiting for you.

Many many hugs to you.

Bernadette

Christa is my sister in law. My husband and I thank God every day for the wonderful family we have. Christa has been a strong, supportive daughter and has been their every step of the way for her Mom and her Dad.

Her brother and I live 1200 miles away and have been able to come and visit twice over the last five months; and in between times and now, in these especially trying times...Christa has been a God send by keeping us up on all the news.

Through all of this, we know that although it will be very hard to say good bye; we know that we can not be selfish and wish for thier Mom, my mother in law;  to stay here with us.  She is in pain, and we would never want her to suffer that way.

My mother in law has taught us all that this is just part of the journey that God is taking us on.  She has taught us that family is something that you should be thankful for every day.  And we are......

Thanks to all of you for helping Christa with your kind and comforting words.

I can only tell you how much it meant to me to be by my mother's side when she lost her battle with cancer. While she was completely out of it in the end, there are two tender and special moments. My dad held her hand and told her that she had done a great job in preparing us, raising us all, we love her and that we'd miss her, but it was okay to go. The second was that mom chose to die at home and around her were four of her best friends, all from her graduating nursing class, to help her be comfortable and ease her passing.

It's hard to mourn when our loved ones are not yet gone, and yet we do.

Sending you lots of prayers.

Hugs,

Gayle

Thanks Gayle...

What I'm going thru sounds just like what you went thru...she is at home...as her and I talked today I asked if she had dreampt of anything..as in those who passed maybe...she said not really...not yet she said when I do I want to share them all with you...her mind is still perfect she does take morphine I guess what I dont understand though is why some days it hurts and others it dont...so yes some days we are on morphine and some we arent...she did tell me today that when it's her time she hopes to have all yer babies with her...my sister and my brother along with my dad...I hope she will be able to wait for all of us to be there...I know no one knows the day or time so we just hug, talk, laugh and cry everyday we have...

You ALL have been a huge strength to me...I thank each and every one of you...Hugs to all

God Bless

Christa

 

Christa: My father also died at home. We were fortunate and only had to have a hospice nurse the night he died. My bil and nephew were in CA and trying to get back to Mo. We had a horrid ice and snow storm that entire day and evening. What would have normally been a 3 hr trip from the airport to my parent's home took almost 5. My father refused to go to bed until my bil and nephew arrived. Once they came, he agreed to lay down. We were all in the bedroom (my ds, bil, nephew, brother, my 2 dds and my mother). We each laid next to him and said our goodbyes and told him it was ok for him to go towards the light. The kids sang and danced and my bil played his guitar. We laughed and cried. If death can be beautiful, then my dad's was.

Hopefully, your db and sil will be able to come home and be there w/ you and your father and the rest of your family. It sounds as though it is important to your mom.  Trust your hospice nurses. They are specially trained to tell the physician your mom's pain level.

Remember to take care of yourself. Your dad is going to need you and you need time for YOU.

Hugs...Deb

Hello Everyone-

I am Christa's sister in law. Thanks for everyone who posted responses when Christa shared her feelings about this terrible disease.

We lost our beloved Anna Mae (Christa's Mom; my mother in law) this past Sunday.  But she was home and that is where she wanted to be.

She is in a better place now, with no pain and can once again look down upon us and smile......the disease is gone and she is happy again.

Thanks again to everyone! God Bless You All

Christa and Bertie

My thoughts and prayers are with you during this trying time. Just remember that she is in a much better place now and has no more pain.

L&H
Bernadette

I am sorry to hear that she is gone, but glad that she was at home with her family when she passed.  She is in a better place and no longer suffers.  My condolences to your family during this difficult time.

Such sad news to hear...I'm so sorry for your loss.