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My best friend is dying....

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Posted 6/21/2006 2:29 AM (GMT 0)
For those who don't know me, I'm an "old timer". I've been a part of this group (the village & here) since I was diagnosed over 6 years ago at age 30. Having cancer was hard, but I am now facing something even harder.

Last week my best friend was diagnosed with ALS or Lou Gehrig's disease. Not only that, but with the most rapidly progressing type. Chances are she will be dead in 1 - 2 years. And it certainly won't be easy even surviving that long. I have never felt so helpless. With cancer at least you know there are things you can do to fight. With ALS there is nothing. No medication. No "handling" it. Just certain death. Beth is 40 with 3 kids. Her youngest is 7 and her oldest is 18 and currently serving in Iraq.

I truly am just sick with sadness, frustration and anger. I never felt anger with my diagnosis, but I do now. I know God is watching out for her, but it is just so unfair. Not only am I so sad for her, but selfishly I am sad for me. I am losing the best friend I ever had. You know the one -- you can tell anything to and never be judged. You share the same twisted sense or humor so she always gets your jokes. You can tell your deepest, ugliest secrets to....

Please keep her & her family in your prayers. And if you can spare another, please pray for me that I can be there for her and give her some kind of comfort...

Thank you for letting me share what I can't anywhere else.

Hugs,

Julie

Posted 6/21/2006 2:48 AM (GMT 0)
Julie: I am so sorry that you are having to face this w/ your friend. I know exactly how you feel and it is ok to be angry. You have every right to be.

4 yrs ago I lost one of my best friends to cancer. We had the same relationship that you and your friend have. We met when our kids were in K. There were 3 of us. We were all single parents, struggling to keep our heads above water. But we each knew that if one of us needed something the other 2 were there. When Roxie found out she had cancer, I had just received the all clear for the first time. I was so angry. It wasn't fair. I am still angry today. I miss her each and every day. But, she is still w/ my other friend and myself. If her son needs something, she invades our dreams. And low and behold, we will run into him and do whatever is needed and then we will be able to sleep again.

Just be there for your friend. You know what it is like to have people look at you differently because you had cancer. Enjoy each and every moment that you have w/ her. Make lots of wonderful memories that you can hold close to you in the future. Help her to keep her warped sense of humor but allow her to lean on you when she needs it.

I will say lots of prayers not only for your friend and her family but also for you and your family. You have a hard road ahead of you but I can tell that you will be there and be able to handle it. Just remember, we are all here for you.

Hugs, love, strength and prayers being sent.

Deb

Posted 6/21/2006 12:18 PM (GMT 0)
Julie, I am so sad to hear this. I have always said Lou Gehrig's disease is probably the one disease I fear more than anything else. My heart goes out to your friend and her family. No one should have to face that disease. I wish there were something I could say to make this not hurt as much. Prayers for you all, Joyce
Posted 6/21/2006 12:53 PM (GMT 0)

Julie,

I will have you and your friend in my prayers.  It is always hard to accept other people's illnesses.  We are helpless in some ways, not in control and at a loss of words even for those that we are closest. 

You are being a good friend.  Stay by her side and try to be as normal as possible.  You haven't lost her yet.  The Lord is truly with all of you and He is listening always.  Lean on Him.

Please continue to come to us for the support you need.  Like you said:

"Thank you for letting me share what I can't anywhere else."  We will be here for you anytime.

Love and hugs,

Candy

Posted 6/21/2006 7:12 PM (GMT 0)
Julie, Like Joyce said, I wish there was something that I could say. I am so very sorry. I will pray for all of you. I know that you will be there for her and have the right things to say. I have confidence in you. Lots of love and prayers, Di
Posted 6/21/2006 10:23 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Julie,

I just lost my best friend to Scleraderma this past Saturday. Its like one day she was here and now she is gone. She left a wonderful husband whom is devestated and a 14 yr old. We lived in different states but talked at least once a week or every other week. To hear her voice, you would never think she was knocking at deaths door. I still cannot believe she is gone. There is nothing anyone can say to make it better. Pray hard! We listened to each after our doctor's appointments and laughed about our kids. When we met it was like we knew each other all of our lives. It is so sad what these diseases do to us, and our families and friends. Again, have faith, and pray hard, I will!

Love & prayers,

PeaceLily
Posted 6/22/2006 2:07 AM (GMT 0)

Julie

 

You are truly blessed to have such a friend.  Twice, I trusted women with my secrets and thought they were safe with them.  You truly know what it is to be cherished by a girlfriend for a long time.  I wish I had had that instead of being so badly abandoned by these two women at tough times in my life.  You are truly blessed.  I'm so sorry you are facing this loss.  I wish my shoulder was there for you to lean on.  Please accept my prayers and thoughts.

 

I don't know what else to say.  I don't have magic words for you, just this......She's extremely fortunate too, to have you.

 

Love,

 

Ellen

Posted 6/22/2006 3:47 AM (GMT 0)
Julie, there are just no words to use to tell you how sad this must be. My heart goes out to you, your friend and her family. It is wonderful to have such special people in our lives. You are fortunate to have her in yours. I had a friend like that who died of a massive stroke about 3 years ago at 53. I miss her every day. But, I treasure the time we did have together. Prayers for all of you, Lauri
Posted 6/22/2006 9:27 PM (GMT 0)
Julie

My heart goes out to your friend and her family and of course you. That is such an awful diagnosis when there is nothing that you can do. I lost a co-worker to this disease several years ago. He was diagnosed and gone in just over a year.

I truly understand your connection with your best friend. My best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer 4 years ago and thyroid cancer 2 years ago. I worry about her everyday. She is cancer free today but I still worry because of her having it twice already. Give your friend your time and lots of love.

I will keep you both in my prayers.

L&H
Bernadette
Posted 6/24/2006 2:05 PM (GMT 0)

Dear Julie..

I am so sorry about your dear friend. I dont have any words that can make this less painful for you. Just know that your friend and her family and especially you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Could you let us know her first name ?

Please keep us posted on how things are going. You are a GREAT friend. It is amazing how many so called "friends" desert you when it gets bad....

I love you Julie. Hugs for you and Hannah

Cathi

Posted 6/25/2006 5:56 PM (GMT 0)
Dear Julie,

I hope that you can feel these special (((((((((HUGS)))))))))).

I am so sorry that you have to be faced with watching such a dear friend have failing health. ALS is just horrible! Where I work we supply communication devices to ALS patients as well as other diagnosis's that take voice away from patients. I am praying that your friend will not have to go through that with her ALS.

God Bless you and her family,
Debbie
PS. Give Hannah a big hug from me too. OK?
Posted 6/27/2006 12:20 AM (GMT 0)
Julie, I am sorry to hear this news. Life just is not fair and it seems to really really bite sometimes...I know you will be a great source of support for your friend as you help her travel this journey. I can't believe you have to deal with such a situation, we are all here for you too.

And remember to take care of yourself too.

Hugs,
Lori
Posted 6/27/2006 7:29 PM (GMT 0)
Dear Julie,
I have been trying to post since Sunday. I am finally at another computer. We prayed for your friend and family in Sunday school. When I asked for prayers, I found out that my friend's dad had died of ALS. He did live 7 years though. I hope this helps give your friend some hope. Just like us, some new drug could very well come out during that time. Love to you and Hannah, Di
Posted 7/5/2006 5:40 PM (GMT 0)

I want to thank you all so much for your responses. You have NO idea how much they mean to me. It is just such an awful situation and I appreciate all your thoughts & prayers -- for her & for me.

I wish you all health & happiness!

Hugs,

Julie (& Hannah, who appreciated her hugs!)

Posted 7/7/2006 2:16 AM (GMT 0)
I am so sorry about your situation....I wish I could do something to help you. Your bestfriend will be in my prayers...
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