Just diagnosed....

Hi all!

I've been a member for a while and have posted here and there.  Primarily in the UC area because I had ulcerative colitis which resulted in a complete colectomy and jpouch.  Life has been great and I was back to normal until I felt a lump in my left breat about 3 weeks ago.  I went for a mamo and nothing showed, but because everyone could feel it I was immediately sent for an ultrasound which resulted in an appointment the next day with a surgeon who insisted on an immediate biopsy and now I've been diagnosed with breast cancer.  My head is spinning because it's all happened so quickly.  After researching this surgeon I am confident that she is top in her field and I really trust her.  She's scheduled my surgery for this Thursday, the 13th.  My husband and I are meeting with her again on Tuesday because frankly, everything she said to me yesterday is a blur.  I was only expecting for it to be a consultation, so I told my husband I would be fine on my own. 

During the last 24 hours I've read everything I can get my hands on about breast cancer, surgery, treatment, etc.  I've always been the type that needs information to feel empowered, but honestly I'm scared to death.  We have two children, 16 and 19 and my oldest just went off to college last week.  I feel so badly for my family because they've been through so much because of me already.  They really don't deserve this.  They are all putting on very brave faces because they so selfless, but I know this is hitting everybody hard.  I know it's ridiculous but I feel such overwhelming guilt. 

I feel like I need to talk to others who've been through this.  I am good most of the time, but suddenly I am overcome with a wave of shear panic.  I am petrified that my kids will have to watch me suffer and then, not make it. 

Thank you for allowing me vent and any words of wisdom will be so very much appreciated.

Laurie 

Hi GMA and thank you so much for responding to me. Your kind words brought tears to my eyes. You all have a way of being so inspiring...I'm telling you, you all need to pat yourselves on the back! I've been reading through this forum and the amount of comfort and caring is amazing!

I did have a biopsy and will have the results back tomorrow. My surgeon said it was more than evident by what she saw that this was cancer. As you said, we don't know what type or how bad yet so we're really being positive. We've had a wonderful weekend, just relaxing and being together as a family. I feel strong enough to deal with whatever this may be.

I'm sure I'll be back to ask a gazillion questions once I know more.

Thanks again for you words of encouragement!

Laurie

Laurie:

 

I'm glad you posted.  There is a lot of support here.  I felt similar feelings about burdoning my family, but there was also a selfish streak that arose.  I started to feel like I should live a little, and spent too much money.  That's a risk some take, especially in the bookstore!!!!  I just wanted to say that, because it was really easy for me to do that, and I've heard others do the same.  Dr. Love's breast Book was a great resource.  Going to the appt with a dictaphone or tape recorder and the husband is helpful too.  I'm glad you're going again.  The blur is a familiar one.

 

I'm sorry you're so scared, but hopefully it's caught early enough and the lymph node biopsy will tell about stage so you have a clearer idea of risk, etc.  Please post frequently, there are others here who will have had experience with the treatment process pre- and post surgery. 

 

Hug those family!!! 

Thinking of you,

 

Ellen

ucforme,

I came to this site 5 weeks ago....I usually posted on the crohns forum becasue I am battling crohns disease.

5 weeks ago, they found a lump ...after a ultra sound I was dx'd with breast cancer....BELIEVE ME, although I wish so much you didnt have to come here IT IS A WONDEFUL place, with awesome people, they will help you get through it.
Honestly if it wasnt for all here, I would have lost my mind, I asked questions, researched, asked more questions.....Do your research...and MOST OF ALL ......WAIT, until you have all the details. Don't jump to any conclusions.
Try not to stress, it will only make the uc worse. Even if you have to take something to calm your anxieties.
I feel very fortunate that I found this group of people....

Thanks again for all the kind words and your good healing thoughts. They've worked because surgery was a breeze and very successful. Although the cancer was invasive, it did not reach any lymph nodes and my surgeon is confident that she got it all. My tumor was estrogen and progesterone + and I was on HRT. I'm sure most of you already know how dangerous HRT is, but please, please, please tell every woman in your life to stay away from estrogen and/or progesterone....period! Deal with hot flashes and anything else your body is going through. I did a lot of research on HRT prior to going on it, but because cancer doesn't run in my family, I was confident that the scewed information I was provided was accurate. This is one thing I am very angry about, but that's for another post.

I will begin chemo treatments (8 over a 16 week period) and 35 treatments of radiation right after. I already consider myself a 'survivor' because it's no longer in my body. I am focused on the treatments and the fact that it's all preventative maintenance. By next spring this will all be behind me!!

I'm sure I'll be back with a million questions during the next 6 months or so, but thanks again for allowing me to vent here.

My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Laurie xxoo