HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

I NEED TO SAY GOODBYE

Support Forums
>
Breast Cancer
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 11/3/2004 11:34 PM (GMT 0)
sad  

Dear Breast Friends:

I will have all of you in my prayers and my thoughts everyday.  I need too, as you have become my sisters in this fight against the beast. 

There is so much going on.  The board has off and on been a challenge to me, mostly because I have felt rather unworthy of being invited and accepted in the membership to support others.  I helplessly weep a lot for those that are so ill.  But, there is another side of me that angers to the point that I am so unproductive in my posts I feel guilt for letting the bickering get to me.  I have tried to ignore certain members posts, I have tried to understand why some people behave the way they do, I have tried to only be positive in my responses or not respond at all.  You know the old adage:  "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." I am not perfect and I know I have angered some on the board also. BUT, I am done.  The support of breast cancer survivors and newly dx'd seems to have, at times, disappeared. 

I want to thank all of you and ask for blessing to be placed upon you for the wonderful support I was given when I was first dx'd.  I could not have made it without your added support for me and my family.  I was blessed when I found this site.

There are several I have become close too.  I will continue to stay in touch through snail mail and e-mail.  If you want to contact me, please do, as I will be thrilled to see you in my mailbox or hear your lovely voices.

Love and hugs to all of you.

Candy

 

Posted 11/3/2004 11:57 PM (GMT 0)
Candy-
I hate to see you go. I hate to see you driven out. You didn't let cancer get the best of you, I hate to see your sisters get to you. Life after cancer is challenging, to say the least. I hope you leave the door open to come back any day any time. Goodbye can be as temporary as you want it to be...

You are worthy and you are welcome to post as little or as much as you want...just like any of us.

Peace to you-
Lori
Posted 11/4/2004 1:07 AM (GMT 0)
Dear Candy,

Always feel free to come back anytime. I will miss your posts sweetie. Remember, I am only a hop , skip and a jump from your door step! Stop in anytime or feel free to meet me in Berlin and go Amish country shopping sometime.

Hugs and Love,
You take care of yourself ok?

Debbie
^j^ ^j^
Posted 11/4/2004 1:24 AM (GMT 0)
Candy,

 

I'm relatively new to the board, but hate to see you go.  It makes me a little discouraged by what you said here.  Plus, what was going on with the vote thing.  I came here as a point of contact with women who can help me through my treatment, not for bickering.  I only hope that I can continue to get good advice and just hear about other women's struggles with this disease.

 

 

Posted 11/4/2004 2:33 AM (GMT 0)
How very sad it is to see this happen. It was the reason we came to HW to begin with. It also seems that the topic is NOT breast cancer with trouble pops up.

 

Your knowledge is strongly needed when it comes to new ladies. A lot of us have experiences that date five years or more and so much has changed tx-wise since then.

 

I really wish you would reconsider your choice. You really don't have to reply to anyone you don't want to and if the subject is a non-b/c controversial one, you can email admin.

 

Love, Jo-Ann

Posted 11/4/2004 3:34 AM (GMT 0)
Candy, I also hate to see you go. I hope you reconsider and stay, but I know it gets tiresome when this stuff goes on. I would like to keep in touch if it is ok. I think you and your DH  are really nice and consider you friends. Maybe we will meet agin and can go for another ride, LOL! I will really miss you if you go, although you will always be in my thoughts and prayers. L&H, Gail

Posted 11/4/2004 1:15 PM (GMT 0)
Candy, I hope you reconsider. Like Jo-Ann said, things have changed so much even over a year that we need you here to help. Take a break and maybe things will finally lighten up here and we can get back to the basics.
Your posts have always been welcome and helpful.

L&H
Sara
Posted 11/4/2004 4:01 PM (GMT 0)
Candy, I'm not sure why you've decided to leave us. Is it the nonsense about the voting threads or was that the "straw that broke the camel's back?" One thing to remember is that we all know each other and are pretty comfortable about saying things. Lori's comments are well-taken; we do need to respect social and emotional boundaries. That said, you ARE needed here. As for being worthy, pish-tosh. We are ALL worthy of this board, simply because we have all walked the same path, some with more difficulty than others, but not one of us is better than another. You are part of our family. Families have disagreements, sometimes act hurtfully or are overly emotional. But our foundation is strong and we take care of each other. It was BC which brought us all together, but that is NOT what keeps us together. It is love and caring. It is support when difficult times come our way and laughter and happiness when all is well. If you need to take a break, that's fine, but think about us, know that we are here waiting for your return. Sending you comforting hugs, Luci
Posted 11/4/2004 4:39 PM (GMT 0)
sad  Now it is me who feels guilty. I sure don't want anyone leaving the board because of something I did -- or started. I certainly did not mean to create the controversy, but it seems like it is my post about voting that initiated the latest problems. That certainly was never my intention. I am sure sorry that what was meant in good faith and friendship has created such heartache. Candy, I sure hope you will continue to post. You need this place as much as it needs you. As for me, I will have to think more carefully about what I post in the future. Sadly frustrated, Lauri
Posted 11/5/2004 12:45 AM (GMT 0)
Candy, I must say that I am one who thinks that, despite some of the craziness that goes on, these are some of the most terrific ladies on the face of this earth. I will NEVER say good-bye to them. One week from today, I will officially be a 10-year survivor. And guess what...I STILL sometimes need the love and support that these friends here offer! And I think that sometimes they like to have mine.

I've never been one to shy away from controversy myself...as a matter of fact, I often get blamed for things I had nothing to do with (and I'm not talking about things here on the board, specifically, but just in general). That's okay.

And look at poor Lauri, who thinks this is all her fault! Who could be farther from the cause of problems here than dear Lauri, who is ever the diplomat and voice of reason when there's a tempest brewing in our little teapot!

So know that the door swings open as well as shut, my dear. You are our sister, whether by choice or bad luck or bad genes!

Your voice is always welcime amongst ours, no matter what you have to say.

Love and hugs...
BEV
Posted 11/5/2004 1:03 AM (GMT 0)
Lauri, please do not feel one shred of guilt. Your post was innocent. Tempers flare sometimes, things get said and controversy is born. In real life, if you take a room full of 50 women, there will be love, hugs, tears, pecking orders, cliques, back stabbing, and still more love. Sometimes I think that girls will be girls...and we will not always get along. And that has to be ok, as long as we keep things in check and disagree with respect.

L&H,
Lori
Posted 11/5/2004 3:09 AM (GMT 0)
Candy,

Please don't go away. We are all in this together. Sometimes we don't always agree - but we can agree to disagree.

I think that the probelm lies into when we get away from our point.

Girlfriend - can we talk breast cancer? Geesh! I hate that word - the big "C"! But somehow or other we are all linked by the Big "C" word and that's why we are here. Frankly, I don't care if you think that you have "IT" or your mother has "IT" or someone that you know has "IT" - if you need help getting through "IT" we are here for you NOW! oh, and forever in the future - or as long as we are here. That is what unites us - that is why we are HERE - or at least why I am here - - - how about the rest of you??? Tomorrow I would like to see a new roll call so that Babyseester knows and feels that we right there with her, holding her hand, a few angels flying above her . . . on and on - we are there to help her get through this experience and somehow or other we will do it together. (It's like having kids and grandkids - hurts sometimes doesn't it??)

I am going to bed now and hope like crazy that some of you will come to your senses by then!

Love (actually lots and lots of love) and hugs,
Cathy
Posted 11/5/2004 5:04 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, All, Luci here. Can we all just simply agree to disagree and let this whole thread die??? I can't stand it anymore. We have more impt. things to do like LIVE. Personally, I'd be real happy if this post was the LAST post on this subject.

Come on, everyone, let's move on. Sending you all my hugs for strength and understanding. Love, Luci
Posted 11/6/2004 1:06 PM (GMT 0)

Ladies:

I agree with Luci, please let this thing die.  I can only apoligize for raising a fuss again.  That was not my intent.

You are all right, we have better things to do and better ways to go about doing. 

Love and hugs to you all.

Candy

✚ New Topic ✚ Reply