Am I over-reacting to this?

First off, I have not been posting in a long time (I'm hanging my head in shame) due to job stress, relationship stress and money stress. But, this is something that I think that you can relate to better than anyone else I know.

This happened at work. The short version is that I have a co-worker who I do not particularly get along with. I went into her office area to get a piece of chocolate (what else!) from the community candy jar and I said, as I took it, "This has been calling my name all day." As I turned and walked out, this co-worker muttered something to one of our student workers who exclaimed, "Brunhilde* (*Names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent), that is NOt nice!"

Now, I didn't hear the comment made, but I later found out that what she said was, "well, of course she can have the chocolate, she can have anything she wants because she's a cancer VICTIM!"

That was last Friday and I am still majorly TICKED OFF (!!!) about this comment. I explained the situation to my supervisor and she seems to think it's no big deal.

I feel hurt and upset because I haven't ASKED for any special treatment and have done my best to work my bum off to prove that I can still do my job the same as before.

Do you think I am over-reacting?

Erin

Here's my 2 cents...I think I'd let it go, like water off a duck's back. My boss would probably say something like 'you're not getting paid to be friends, we're paying you to do a job'. Sometimes you find out who your friends are or aren't the hard way, often having cancer, or some other life event where it's easy for someone to kick you when you're down, brings it to the forefront a little quicker. We might be a little more emotional or vulnerable, but in time our skin gets a little thicker. I don't think you want to prove to your boss, coworker or anyone else that you are a victim, by saying something about the candy incident, their twisted little minds might say 'see, I told you she was a victim' and in the future everyone else might follow suit, start walking on eggs around you when the word spreads (and it most likely will) and come to resent you. I don't mean to sound cold, but others often just don't get it and that's just the way it is at the office. Now if it was your boss who said something like this, if I were you I'd be in Human Resources filing charges so fast their heads would spin, it's a different story when a boss makes harrassing remarks and we have laws to protect us. But there will always be at least one blabbermouth jerk at the office just trying to ruin everyone's day, don't take it personally, she probably has something nasty to say about everyone else too. I bet your boss already knows who the jerks are or aren't anyway. Maybe you should get your own candy jar for your desk to avoid future insults with the jerk, a candy jar or coffee maker at your desk is a great way to make other friends at the office. When everyone starts coming around your desk for a piece of chocolate, her ears will start spouting steam and you can enjoy a nice laugh for yourself. Don't get angry or run under a rock, keep your chin up and remain proud of yourself, cancer or not, never let them see you sweat, especially with office politics! I'm sure the jerk will find something else to pick on, but remember you're a survivor, she's not, so you have excellent reason to just hold your head high no matter what she says or does. I think we all have hundreds of stories to tell about stupid things people say to a cancer patient, if it helps, we can share our stories here with each other and laugh instead of cry. Keep in mind that we get it and they don't.

Jen

OK, I haven't even read any of the other responses, I wanted to get writing Erin.  This would be eating me up inside bigtime.  I'd show her just how much of a VICTIM you're not!!!!!

You're one strong, feisty broad, and she probably has a problem with that.  I'd like to see her do HALF the stuff you've done while having been dealing with this pain-in-the-you-know -what disease.  Tell her if she can't say something to your face, then maybe she should learn from your bravery, 

Also, tell me, what about the person who told you what she said?  That's no friend either.  That person shouldn't have said something to you later, she should have called you over and had you deal with it personally at the time.  Now she gets to see your reaction and stay on the high road....NOT!  She's just as bad in my book.  These two nimrods need to get filed in your mine, in a circular file!!!!!!  The boss, forget it, she's ineffectual.  You are either going to handle this one or let it go.  but rehearse rehearse rehearse.  write responses and have stuff ready if you want to confront THEM BOTH

I think you'd better get your own chocolate, too. 

Thank you all for being my sounding board! I knew you would all understand this situation better than anyone else.

I will let you know what happens on Monday. Most everyone at home has said to let it go, but I just can't... I have to let her know that it is NOT OK to say things like that.  But, you're right, I suppose that in a way she will feel vindicated for thinking of me as a whiny victim. Ah, well. Guess you really can't win a situation where socking her in the nose is against the law.....;-)

Ugh! Office politics....it's just like high school only we're all better dressed.

Thank you for your support and kind words, though. It's nice to know I have a few in my court. And Greg really likes the idea about the "chocolate courtesy of" idea!

(ps: DH got me an inflatable punching bag! I think it will get a lot of use....I know just whose face I will tape on it...)

Erin

Erin:

What did you finally do?