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Posted 9/6/2006 2:33 PM (GMT 0)
My brother and sisters mom died last night of cancer (we have the same father but not mother) and I am terrified to call them. They are older ,my brother is 24 and my sister is 26, and I know they will be taking it better than if it were younger children but I have no idea how to approach them. Has anyone been in this situation? What can I say? What if they cry? What if I cry? Can anyone help me? How do I deal with this?
Posted 9/6/2006 2:38 PM (GMT 0)

Honey, they will cry... and so will you.  Everyone will.  It's normal and it's expected.  All you can do is hug them and be there for them.  You don't have to say a word or do anything special.  It's important to just be there.

God bless and keep you and the entire family. 

Posted 9/6/2006 2:40 PM (GMT 0)
I will be calling them over the phone they live in FL and I'm in TN. All I can do is call, I wish I were there for them in person. I wish I could hug them. Doing it over the phone seems alot harder than in real life because there isn't anything I can do.
Posted 9/6/2006 3:40 PM (GMT 0)

A phone call will do.  Just you being there in any way will help.  Cry with them over the phone and send verbal hugs to them.  It will help.

Hugs,

Candy

Posted 9/6/2006 10:49 PM (GMT 0)
ohh sweetie...trust me I am right in your shoes when it comes to losing a mother...I just lost mine of July 9th ... you will find this forum is one like you have never seen before in your life...the ladies are amazing and they truly care...please believe that...I do agree with the ladies everyone will cry...but it must be done...they need to hear from you as much as you need to hear from them...even if your sobbing on that phone for an hour please do it...just be honest when you call and say "I dont know what to say" or perhaps "How are you holding up"...I have heard this from so many friends and family and still do...it's still very hard for me to deal at times and other times I feel like I'm doin okay and it's so wonderful to know they "care" ...please please hun make that call ...you may be on the phone crying for a long time and no words are spoken and that's okay...just tell them you will keep in touch and do so as much and as often as you can...

 

As Always -

Have Faith Sweetie

Christa

 

Posted 9/7/2006 3:46 AM (GMT 0)
This is a really big responsibility for your young shoulders. I am sorry you have to make this call, but as the others have said, you must do it. Did they not know that she was ill and near death? If not, it will be a shock. If they did, it will still be very sad. It hard to hear that a parent has died no matter how ill the person has been or how expected the passing is. Have a big box of tissues handy. Know that we are sympathizing with you. Hugs, Lauri

Posted 9/7/2006 3:47 PM (GMT 0)

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this situation. You didn't say how old you are but it doesn't matter. Death is hard to accept, no matter what your age. As the others have said, don't be afraid to cry. That is part of the process. But also don't be afraid to share any fun and good memories you have of your brothers and sisters mother. It doesn't hurt to laugh or talk about things that happened in the past that made an impression on you. You also might write some of these thoughts down and send them to your family. It will help them and you also.

Love..Deb

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