Hi Mary-Anne,
Welcome to the CFS message board!
Being tired all the time probably has a lot to do with your sleep trouble. Have you ever had a sleep study done? You can ask your Dr about it. What happens is you go to a sleep lab, usually in a hospital, 3 to 5 nights in a row. When you get there, they hook you up to all kinds of monitors, especially to detect the patterns of your brain waves. And you get monitored all night while you sleep (or not sleep, as the case may be). Then they can look at the results and determine whether you have a sleep disorder, and if so, what kind of problem, and then they can offer suggestions for treating your particular disorder. Difficulty sleeping and sleep disorders are common with CFS. Fortunately, some people with CFS end up having some very specific and treatable sleep disorders. So ask your Dr about it!
I'm not sure what to say about seeing the psychiatrist, what questions to ask. I guess that would depend on why you're seeing him/her. Whether you want support for the CFS and Lupus, or the GAD, or the sleep, or just all of it. I think the first and most important thing that you want to look for, is how comfortable you feel with him or her. You have to feel at ease, you have to feel ok talking to him or her. You have to feel he or she understands you. And you have to like what they have to say about your problems. You might be able to come up with some "test questions" for your first appointment. Maybe think up something that you really don't need support about, but ask anyway, just to learn how the Dr handles your question and how well he/she answers it. Or if you favor a particular therapuetic technique, ask about whether the Dr can do it. If you mostly want support with your illnesses, ask the Dr a few detailed questions about them. But the very most important thing is that you feel comfortable with the Dr, feel comfortable telling him/her your problems, and comfortable asking questions, and feel comfortable with what he/she has to say about your issues.
I would make one comment, though, about your Dr and the psychiatrist keeping in touch. I don't know if this is something that is different in different states, or if it is something that is true across the US. Where I am, one must give their Dr special permission to communicate with one's psychiatrist or psychologist. I've tried this twice, over several years, and with 2 different primary Drs and 2 different psychotherpists. Both times, I regretted giving them permission to communicate about me. Both times, I trusted my therapist. When my Dr asked about therapy, I would tell him how it was going. That worked fine until my Dr wanted me to take antidepressants, and I didn't think that was the right course of action. My Dr tricked me into giving permission for him to talk to my therapist, saying he just wanted to keep up with some particular issue. When I thought about it later, I realized the Dr himself had planted the seed of doubt in myself about this issue, which wasn't really an issue at all, for me. It turned out, both times, the Dr used the opportunity to convince my therapist that I should take antidepressants. And so my therapist began pressuring me to take them, too. I could no longer trust my therapist and left therapy, both times. So that's just my story. So I would advocate against letting them communicate. However you should make your own decision about it. Also, it may just be some local regulation where I am, that a patient must give special permission.
Well, good luck with your appontment!