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Hi I'm new and didn't want to usurp anyone else thread

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Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
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Posted 2/16/2011 3:54 AM (GMT 0)
I've always had fatigue and today I've got a nice big bout of depression to go with it. I've gone for a drive and tried to push myself to do things that give me a sense of accomplishment. The big black dog has merely decided to claim me as his own today and as much as I'm loathed to accept it, it seems that I have no other choice. I know I have posted in the CFS forum but that is because the fatigue is a constant Today's depression is transient and just is making today harder to enjoy and harder to be productive. As part of the depression I'm feeling quite isolated today. I do have a partner and I know some lovely people. Not being able to work is a constant source of disappointment for me. Also the financial hardship that comes from not being able to work can be tough sometimes. It's difficult to attract new friends when one is having a really bad day but I hope there are some nice people here who I can link in with.
Posted 2/16/2011 10:43 AM (GMT 0)
Hello I can undestand how you are feeling I have been sick 4 plus years with cfs cebv and besides all the physical pain I have come to the conclusion that the emotional pain is much worse. It is very hard to feel worth while I also am blessed to have a significant other who has been supportive through it all but I still feel isolated at times. I know im not the only one out here feeling this way but it can feel like I am. Please know your not alone I also struggle with missing the good ol days and wish I could work. I have lost almost everything that I had and have no idea if I will ever get it back its like starting over. I guess the point im getting at is try to take it a day at a time and ask those for help if you need it. Its very hard for people to understand our types of illneses and no one can truly understand how you feel but you. I hope better days are ahead for you and never forget none of us asked for this burden and many of us can take positives out of it through personal growth. Oddly I have become a much better person because of my illness. I see the real importance of life and it took getting sick and pulled out of the rat race to see money, material things ,etc is not what life is about these are just man made things. Try to embrace the good things you do have as I truly know this is easy to say hard to do. Take care
Posted 2/20/2011 4:39 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Sick4Way2Long,
Thanks for your post. Yes, I think I get what you are saying. Adversity can have a way of rounding us out, if managed properly. I think I understand what you say about personal growth. The more meaning and purpose we can glean from our illnesses, makes us better people in the end. I also find comparison works to have me putting my struggles into perspective. ie. there are 50,000 people who die horrendous deaths each day in the world just through poverty alone - and I think I can safely say I have never had a day as bad as that . I know it is morbid (and terribly wrong when there is enough resources to go around) ... but that stark reality of deep inequity and suffering always has a sobering way of bringing into focus just how incredibly lucky I am!
I dragged myself (and my partner) to ballroom dancing on Friday night. Yeah, of course it was hard going but I really enjoy connecting with others. I am quite an extravert and love having fun. (I sleep the Friday and Saturday in order to go, but it is well worth it! I just dance the first part and am dragged through the second half lol).
I hope you've had a good weekend too :)
Posted 3/2/2011 3:53 AM (GMT 0)
Awwww... I'm new to this site today actually and didn't realize I guess until today that I am not the only one going through all of this. I have the exact same problems. I have always had bad depression to begin with but now it has only gotten so much worse. I have overcome a horrible childhood where I wasn't even able to attend normal school only to kick butt and graduate from a great university and now I can't even do anything with that degree. I feel sometimes like there is just too much to overcome, and I have an awesome hubby who has a hard time dealing with my illness. I hope you do meet some good people here, people who will understand, because I think until today I didn't realize that there were going to be people anywhere that would understand either. Know that there are others who understand, or at least can relate to you now. :) I hope in time you get well.
Posted 3/6/2011 2:06 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Sickmomma,
I know people have fought hard to have CFS recognised as a physical illness and indeed it is. I know people from great families still get CFS. Crumby childhoods can't help though. It is draining and we have to work so hard to reparent ourselves. A "normal" lens on the world is hard earned and not always consistent. Hats off to you and what you have achieved due to your indomitable spirit. Hold on to satisfaction from those achievements coz they are closer to the real you than your illness.
Re: my fatigue. Recently, I've started on a new anti-depressant and I have more energy than I have in the past six months. It might indicate that my fatigue has been a symptom of a mood disorder rather than CFS??? but after 39 years of this journey, I'm cautious about jumping to conclusions. I just appreciate the good days and manage the bad days. I try to gauge my journey, while keeping an open mind. Hope life is treating you well for the moment too!
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