chronic pain and subsequent problems

Hello everyone, I am new to this site but was wondering if anyone had any advice for me or suffering fom similar feelings. In October last year I suffered a very bad injury at the hands of a medical professional which has resulted in intense pain in my ribs every day since. On the third day after my injury I was in so much pain that I was taken from my car (which i nearly crashed) on the way to work, to A and E where it was assumed at first i was having a heart attack (at 35!!). Since then if I get stressed in the slightest I start to feel dizzy, nauseous, sweaty and the feeling that I can't breathe, resulting in hyperventilation. The pain is constant as a dull ache radiating from the right front side of my ribs round the back almost to my spine. I get constant spasms which make my entire upper body jerk coupled with alternate feelings of like someone sitting on my chest so I can't breathe or being punched really hard in my ribs or sharp stabbing pains like a knife is being used to prise my ribs apart. Lately I have also been getting feelings like something is trapped in me and my ribs are pressing on it. I have practically lived on 30/500mg co-codamol since  October just to get some sleep and to help me get up in the day. At times the pain is so bad I get up in the night, pace up and down or sit in the garden at 3am. I have been unable to do any simple housework without causing additional pain, so (as I can't expect my husband to run the house and do a full time job as well as support me) I take additional pain control by using a rib belt (bought in the USA as nothing exists like this in the UK) and a TENS machine. This just to say takes the edge off the pain while I clean up or do a small bit of ironing, but then i really suffer when I stop. I have never been very good with pain but thought that after the pain of a fractured knee and torn ligaments, that disintegrated, back in 1994 I could cope with anything. However, after my visit to an osteopath, and the injury I sustained, this was the final straw in the last 4 years of my life when I have injured my back so badly after slipping on ice that I was off work for 5 months; have lost my 4 year job after being bullied horrendously by my managers; suffered a severe sprained ankle at a subsequent job interview; got the sack from another job after 3 months of starting and doing a fantastic job (as the manager did not like the fact I could do the job better than her after she left me in charge and went on holiday at a day's notice with no contact details!); had a great job with lovely children in a school on  a 1 year contract, but working under the teacher from hell who caused me upset on a daily basis by emotionally abusing/bullying the children in the class and despite complaining (all the staff had experienced him at some point) nothing was done to stop him; suffered with severe vertigo (reason why I was seeing medic) and now at the point where I have not worked since October, have had to sell my car as I am unable to drive now and cannot see an end to this misery or anyone ever employing me again. I also have a new problem in that I am unable to leave the boundary of my house and garden unless someone is with me. I feel totally ridiculous as I am highly intelligent and rational person but I am terrified that if I go out by myself I am going to fall over or hurt myself in some way. I do not know whether this is down to the pain I have suffered every day since I was injured, an accumulation of everything that has happened to me in the last few years or just a ridiculous thought that has stuck in my head. Since October i have left the house only to attend hospital appointments and medicals/interviews that the UK government insist I do so they can decide whether or not I am fit to do work. I believe that this is also adding to my stress levels as I convinced that they will say there is nothing wrong with me and demand I find a job (as all tests have been negative and I have basically been abandoned and referred-approx 13 week wait- to a pain management clinic- I do not want to "manage" the pain as it is not manageable and I want to know what is causing it). I am going to see another doctor this week in the hope of getting further tests but feel ridiculous as my husband is having to have time off to come with me and also for further appointments in the next 2 weeks. If i mention my fear of going out alone to the doctor they will say I am making it up. I have always loved going out on my own in the past, especially to wide open spaces. It is not a fear of open spaces but just that I am going to hurt myself if someone is not with me. I do not know what to do as I feel stupid. People keep telling me to pull myself together reagrding the pain i feel so i have only confided this fear to my husband, who does not really understand, having never suffered like this. He also gets frustrated with me at times when I can't stop crying due to the pain and my whole situation and this makes me feel worse. It is a vicious circle. Am I alone in feeling like this? What can I do to overcome these problems, especially as I can't expect my husband to take me to appointments for ever as I need to be able to get the bus. I feel totally trapped, bored, frustrated, useless and am terrified that I will have this pain for the rest of my life but that noone will believe it is real as all their tests have been negative. Some days i doubt my own sanity and think maybe it is all imagined but then the pain returns with a vengeance just to prove otherwise. Please help. Back to Top

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You can't get through life unless you trust a certain number of people. Close family and friends are one category, doctors are another. You're problems are clearly lingering for some time, certainly from before October last year. You should find yourself a trusted doctor, someone who will listen to you, but especially look at your problems from a medical point of view without emotional involvment, something family and friends usually can't do.

Pain is relative. Some people's tolerance level is much higher than others. Some people can take a level of pain without flinching that could actually kill another person. Pain also often causes psychological problems and psychological problems often cause physical pain. It is the age old question of what was first, the chicken or the egg. In medical conditions, they usually go together. Physical pain over long durations usually rises your pain tolerance level but at the same time increase stress to the point of breakdown.

I think most of your problems can reduced to psychological issues (and I know this is not what you wanted to hear). I also know that in the UK, you are supposed to "pull yourself together" (I live in Belgium and have served in the UK), stiff upper lip, etc.; you know the situation better than I do. Now just look at what you've posted here. Regardless of what happened and how you experience your pain, you basically do nothing but complain (not meant as an insult, just an analysis), consider yourself to be far worse of then other people, acknowledge you might have a "ridiculous thought stuck in your head", and finally admit you "feel totally trapped, bored, frustrated", etc. This is a psychological problem and you know it.

Question is what are we going to do about it. Suppose your pain is caused entirely or mostly by psychological problems, then it is quite normal all test are negative. Even if your pain is caused by physical problems, then your main problem is still a psychological one. I'm not a psychologist (although I studied it, among other things), but I think you are having or are very near to a nervous breakdown. You need serious psychological help and you need to get it right away.

Practicle way to deal with your problem. If you have a doctor you trust, call him/her and explain at great length what you told us. If not, get a doctor, preferably one who lives relatively nearby and is readily available. If you don't know any one at first glance, pick one from the dictionary. Don't keep your husband in the dark, tell him everything you told us, you'll need his support and you'll get it as soon as he's able to more or less understand the problem. Together with this doctor and your husband decide on professional psychological help. Don't worry about what other people might think, it is not their life, it's yours.

The first step towards recovery is the knowledge that something is wrong. You are certainly not alone in this, although I guess at times it looks that way.

I can't say I know what you're feeling as I've never had psychological problems, notwithstanding being in constant pain (probably a psychological disorder I guess), but I know enough of the matter to realize that you might need to talk and vent about your situation. Talk to us, or someone else you feel you can talk to. Call a doctor in the morning and start your road to recovery. Keep us posted.

Thank you for the replies.
I have always been an anxious person-even as a little girl i can remember the fear I felt at being left at school or if i fell over and scraped my knee etc. "Highly strung" my teachers used to say but I grew slightly more confident the older i got. I have never been a party person, preferring quiet, open spaces to pubs etc and have always avoided the over confident, loud critical people that everyone seems to be these days. I am not agoraphobic as someone suggested-i just can't face going out alone for the fear of hurting myself and having noone there to help me (people walk past incidents these days for fear of consequences of getting involved).
I became very confident in the 4 year job I had and was successful, productive and respected by the people I cared for, their relatives and my colleagues. but all that changed when i became a victim of bullying and harrassment from a newly promoted manager, eventually losing my job. Even winning a discrimination and unfair dismissal case against them did not boost my confidence or how low I had become, especially as she still remained in her job and i found employment impossible. I can almost identify this as the trigger for what is happening now. yes, i have seen a counsellor who worked with CBT but this did absolutely nothing for me as talking about issues that cannot be fixed seemed completely pointless and made me even more depressed. I suppose i could win awards for excellent acting as i can say the things that people want to hear so they put the right things in their notes. I know this will probably make you all think I am some sort of idiot but if I said how I really feel they would lock me up in a unit meaning my life is over for all future prospects. i can say this with confidence having had a bad morning last year and drove off by myself to a quiet country car park to think for a while (my coping mechanism). Next thing i knew I was surrounded by police and an ambulance who gave me a choice of I either go to hospital or get arrested. Fine way to treat someone who is just depressed and wanting some space to work things out. after that all hell broke loose as i refused to do either. let me tell you that having police officers steal your keys and try to force you out of a car does nothing for your confidence or sanity. also to be lied to as well does not help as despite eventually going in the ambulance (to prove i was alright as they requested) I was taken off to a secure unit and made to wait for hours until a psychiatrist came to evaluate my "state of mind". Having pronounced me "sane" (of which i had been all the time) I was allowed to leave after 7 hours. This event has had a significant effect on my life and i no longer trust anyone who deals with mental issues as they are all out to ruin a persons life in the UK. (No employer will hire someone who has talked to a counsellor despite all the laws in place as they see you as some kind of nutter). My anxieties are best dealt with in the way that I find best at the time as noone can understand how someone else is feeling unless thay have shared the same experience.
Yes, I may appear to moan a lot but I am always aware that there are people worse off than myself, then i feel guilty for moaning and this increases my anxiety and depression, which in turn makes the pain worse. the worst thing about pain is having people assume you are making it all up when their tests prove nothing and then they start to query why you are not working. Also in the UK, so many people have scammed the benefit system for so long that schemes are now in place to find these people. i believe that my fear of going out stems from this-the fact that people might be watching me to see if I go out and what I do so they can prove I do not suffer with pain and can't work at the moment. It's a vicious circle of paranoia, fear and pain that I have found myself in as it would be guaranteed that the day i went for a short walk for exercise on my own is the day that the benefits agency would be watching and assessing my capabilities. Yes, it sounds like conspiracy theories and an episode of the X files but, as an educated person who knows how the UK system works, I have become a prisoner with my knowledge. Maybe I need a psychiatrist to deal with this issue too, so they can tell me it's all in my head and does not happen. This is the problem with being too educated, you can see the pitfalls and know when you are being pacified and lied to for their own end and not for my benefit. My brain is constantly active thinking if I do this then that will happen or people will think I am lying etc. All these thoughts have added together over the months to make me into the moaning, anxious person that is on this site.
Despite most of the replies on here I know that Psychological issues are not my problem-the pain is. If i was free of the pain and had someone who took me seriously then i know my other feelings would go away as I could try for jobs, have my independence and feel worthy again. at the moment all I do is think what if i had not seen the osteopath that day and she had not caused me this injury. If that was the case then i would be very happy still working as a teacher in a gorgeous little school in the middle of the country, earning good money and being successful, confident and worthy. If bitterness and loathing of the minute my life was ruined in this way means i need a psychiatrist then I will research it but I know the only help I need is to be pain free so i can return to the life I had before last October.

Hi all,
I have made a little progress in the last couple of days. I saw another doctor at my surgery who was disturbed to hear all I have been through lately. She has referred me, under our private health insurance (as get seen next week as opposed to 16 weeks wait) to see a doctor who specialises in pain and who is likely to do further tests to find a cause or at least help ease the pain.

I think I have survived the Government medical. Although the medical examiner was very harsh at first (they must see 100's of people who are faking symptoms) he soon lightened up, smiled and was not as severe. I reckon my professional background in teaching helped convince him i was genuine, especially when I said i was desperate to find another job. I will get the outcome of this report on 17th June when I have to attend a meeting at the job centre to discuss my future working ability. Fingers crossed i will have had some good medical input/treatment by then so can prove I am trying to work my way out of this situation.

I am trying to keep busy by entering some of my poetry in a few local and national competitions. I am also booked into a local carnival event in the next few weeks to sell copies of my children's book, which was published in february but I have felt unable to promote properly.

My pain has eased a little today which i think is down to the warmer weather we have in the UK today (it has rained non stop for the past week). i have also been using my TENS machine as I knew the medical exams would be uncomfortable.

I have also decided that tomorrow is the day that I am going to venture out of the house alone, to the Post Office to send my poetry entries. I am feeling more confident about this now as I have thought it through and decided it was ridiculous. also now I am able to walk a lot better (after having my toenails removed 3 weeks ago) I am going to take that first step out of the house unaided. I think this was also part of my fear that I would be unable to steady myself if I fell (due to toe surgery) and in turn this would affect my ribs even more. I am going to take a deep breath tomorrow and go for it. I know it will be hard but I cannot let irrational thoughts invade on top of the pain. One small step at a time is my new motto.

Hi Grammargirl,

Hi, Kisa,
Just wanted to welcome you to the forum. Please join in on any thread or start your own. One thing - up in the corner of your post you'll see two icons (at least I do on my computer!). One is a pencil, and if you click on that it allows you to edit your post and re-post it. The other is an "X" and that allows you to completely delete your post. You can't edit or delete the postst of others; only moderators or the administrator can do that. But you can edit or delete your own pretty easily.

Hope this helps!

PaLady

Hello all,

Hope everyone is feeling good today.

Great news for me. After all the tests I have had for my rib pain and subsequent findings of "nothing wrong", I have finally found someone who believes me and has disgnosed a major problem. The pain specialist consultant , whom I saw yesterday, did a variety of minor tests before pricking me all over my back and ribs with a pin. The area where I have been having the pain since October 07 felt very different to the rest of me-like a numb pricking rather than sharp like on the rest of my skin. In some areas I could not feel a pin prick at all although I was aware that something was touching me. Instantly she diagnosed that the thoracic nerves (from number 6 to 9) are inflamed, irritated and badly damaged. She is doing an MRI scan in 2 days time to rule out a trapped, bulging disc before I am given some injections near my spine, and a possible epidural as well, so see if this blocks the nerves. Apparently sometimes it does but not in all cases in which case she has to consider what to do next. I am not looking forward to this but have got to the point now where almost anything would be an option to the pain. She said having constant spasms are debilitating enough without all the other pain symptoms that go with this injury. She was also dismayed that it has gone this long undiagnosed and untreated as it makes treatment a lot more difficult. Goes to show that if the doctors had listened to me in the first place I would not be in this situation, as she found it unbelievable that they had all been insistent it was gall blader problems or similar for so long. She also pointed out what we had been saying all along in the fact that if a specialist orders an MRI scan all they are looking for is the problem that they think it is, and even if a major injury was right in front of them they would not see it as they are only able to identify the things they know about!!! Therefore all the nerve damage could have been detcted back in December 07 if the pain consultant had seen the results and not just a gastroenterologist. Unbelievable! Makes you lose so much faith in the medical profession.

On top of this the Government medical I underwent, to be eligible for benefit, also found that I was incapable of work due to the injury so at least I still have a little money coming in to pay my bills. This has all helped in somewhat reducing the anxieties and depression I was having on a daily basis as it takes away the financial pressures and proves that I was not going mad and imagining all this pain!

Although the specialist is hopeful about the injections working, she is doubtful if it will be a permanent solution and it is apparent that I will continue to have nerve damage for life but it may ease my problems just enough to be able to find some kind of work again. Fingers crossed. Good luck to everyone who is suffering and let's hope we all find some solution soon.

Does the pain worsen after you eat? the fact that it is right side ribs could be liver/gal bladder issues... I would take a lok at that. I took ambien for 2 years, and when I tried to stop, I had this horrible pain in my right side including the outside of ribs. WHen i took the ambien, the pain went away. if I stopped, it started back up. I really think most new drugs are poison and i now avoid all if possible. I finally got off the ambien, but started taking klonopin to offset the ambien withdrawel pain. i almost didnt make it. but i do feel better now. are you taking any meds that could cause something weird like i had?      good luck      chronic pain=ur own little private hell...   

Hello all,

How is everybody doing today?

I just wanted to say thanks for the replies I had after my last post, and also to make a confession. After saying I was going to go out on my own, I am afraid I still have not done it (apart from the garden). I am not so much scared at the moment about doing this but more about how I would cope if I suddenly had a severe pain attack whilst out in public and on my own, especially with everyone staring at me like some kind of freak. I have been out a few times with my husband, to the usual appointments etc but still have to take that first step on my own. It is so frustrating because when I decide the night before (having had a fairly good evening pain -wise), to go out the next day, either the pain hits me again or the weather is so bad that it is impossible to go out! Good old Britain-we might get a summer day this year!!

In reply to a couple of questions or points made on other posts:

The pain does not get any better or worse with eating/drinking and I was tested for gall bladder problems right at the beginning of this nightmare and all was clear.

I have absolutely no faith in, or time, to subject myself to interrogations by Psych docs (very bad experience last year-but that is a whole different story on the depression forum!) or even admit how depressed this pain has made me at times- everything goes against you in the UK if you admit something like that and can make the situation 100 times worse. The US is actively encouraged to discuss all problems like this (hence Jerry Springer!!) but if you admit problems in the UK they will have you in a straight jacket before you can blink.

I find that my best therapy for when I am feeling down is to do my writing or listen to music (as I can't drive anywhere remote any more to think, which used to be my best therapy-incidentally, not being able to drive now was definitely a great thing to happen, as the price of petrol is so astronomical  I do not know how anyone can afford to drive. Also it was only a matter of time before I was killed by one of the many idiots that drive in our country now). It is also a massive release of stress not to have to put up with that any more. I can recommend it to everyone.

After speaking to the physio that I had been seeing for a while, I filled him in on seeing the pain specialist and he is glad that things seem to be heading in the right direction, but also said (like the specialist) that he is doubtful whether the injections will have  a long term effect. It will be at least 6 weeks after having them to decide if they work or not and he told me not to do anything mad if I feel a positive effect straight away! I am just looking forward to a possible day without pain, as I have forgotten what that is like!

Anyway, that's all for now I think as I am suffering a bit today due the rain and wind. One week today to the injections-can't wait!!

Keep smiling everyone.

My thought for the day: Do not put off until tomorrow something you can do today. If you find you enjoy doing it today, you can then do it again tomorrow!!