The pity party is at my house today

Still have room for one more???
I'd love some drink and food but my darn bladder says I cant so maybe I should start my pity party off with the fact that I feel left out even at the pity part..LOL! I guess I'm defenitly in the right place for myself:):)
Would anyone care for a bland bowl of rice and some water...now dont all rush at once, believe me there is plenty of my special treats to go around!

Floss I'm with ya! But its my couch thats comfy. Actaully I've made quite a nice indent in it for myself. I love my heating pad, way too much. Was warned that using it on abdominal pain was a big no no, but by the time I got that warning I was too far in to unplug it. I've probably gone through about 10 of them since my pain started. Now I have ruptured blood vessels from trying to ease the pain with too high a level of heat. But its the only thing that helps when it gets bad and I have no breakthough meds.

I'm so angry that I'm sick. I'm angry that I'm so young and will be like this for the rest of my life . And I'm so sad that my brother and sister havent even called me in a year or have even acknowleged the birthday email I sent. I dont think my sister has ever picked up the phone to see how I was when I got sick.
I want to get better, I want to go out and feel like I'm actually living again. But the pain doesnt allow me to travel or drive in the car for too long. I feel trapped and sick at the hought of knowing where every crack in the house is, from having to be inside so much.

My spirituality is the only thing that has kept me hopeful and looking to what could one day be instead of what is. I feel like the few years prior to getting sick prepared me for what I would have to go through and change about my life.
So with all the sadness and anger I guess there are some things I look to without even being concious of it. I have two wonderful cats. One I couldnt imagine ever having been without(the other is more of an out door cat, so while I love him dearly I barely see him)
My cat lays on my abdomen when I'm in pain and comes to the bathroom with me when I have to pee(its really painful for me to urinate)sometimes I cant believe just how in tune she is and how she is right there when I really need to know I'm not alone.

One thing is for sure. No matter how many friends( I have none that arent in my computer, which by the way you guys are wonderful. I havent heard the words "I've missed you" alot and PAlady and Lindaloo I thank you as you brightened my night right along with just being here) or family, Chronic Pain is one of he lonelist things I have ever experienced.

I've never said any of these things out loud..or in writing:) and it feels really nice to get them out from banging around in my head!

Freya

Good morning all -
And just how did we sleep at our slumber party? Probably a lot of stomach aches in this crew!

Freya - so glad you joined us. Is it sad or good or a little of both that I feel I could have written much of what you wrote? And you're so right about it being lonely. And knowing every crack in the house. Along with every dust ball and I just wish that was funny. I look around and am so embarassed by what used to be a place I loved. But I'm getting too down for this early on a Sunday.

Good thing Freya - these virtual parties mean we can eat any ole' thing we want and as much as we want and no stomach upset or calories or anything! So toss that rice and get some cheesecake - or whatever your little heart desires.

Trowftd3 - welcome! You certainly can join us, and I'm glad you did. I had a sheltie as a little girl and I loved her so. I don't have any animals now, but so miss my them. If my body and finances improve down the line, I will definitely get another cat. Even though I had dogs my whole life until about 25 years ago, when I took on a neighborhoor stray orange tabby I never knew how much I'd grow to love him. Sadly, I had to put him down 3 years ago but he lived to be 20. And the relationship we shared was special. I wasn't alone then, you know?

Ok, going to read the rest of the posts. I love this party and really needed it!

PaLady

Welcome Mush of course you can join our little party!! How did everyone sleep last night any bad tummy aches??? I hope not I'd hate to be the hostess that gives her CP friends any more pains then they already have PA get your self a dog or a cat they are wonderful companions and will snuggle to ya when your feeling down. My yellow lab is fun when I am crying cause the pain is so bad he is right there licking my face and looking at me like "It'll be ok mommy!"

Good morning Freye I do so hope that you enjoyed my little pity party/slumber party it was a blast for me and I think that we should do this again soon! I too feel trapped inside my home, being cooped up 24/7 is sooo lonely. I had a cat, his name was mighty mouse (funny eh?) anyway he died 3 years ago of old age, he was 17 when I lost him and I miss him lots.

I had a sheltie when I was 17 years old, very good dogs and quite smart! His name was Tiny, and he was so cool. My labs are energetic things, I can't go outside and play ball with them or take them to the lake so they are a little out of shape.

Anyway I do hope everyone had fun at the pity party/slumber party and we shall do this again soon. Glad to see so many turned out for the fun, hubby wasn't upset that he had to sleep in the living room either ha ha ha!

LOL there ya go PA! Interesting that cats and dogs really help the lonely feelings that each of us have as a result of our pain. I have heard studies that support this fact and if I didn't have my dogs I think I would truly go mad!

On another point it's beginning to look like we are in for a move to another state as hubby does not know whether he will have a job by next year. So his brother has offered my husband a job in Kansas working in the same capacity that he is right now and he is seriously thinking about taking the position. In which case it looks like I will have to find a new PCP too. Not that I mind, but I think that hubby is only waiting to see what the Mylogram is going to show before he decides yes or no to this deal. If he decides to take this offer I will be finding a pain doc in Wichita Kansas for my pain needs.

Very well said, Sherry. I've heard it said that people are a bit like icebergs - you only see the tip b/c most of it is beneath the surface.

Trow, sounds like a great cat to have on your side I was crushed to have to have my long time friend Mighty Mouse put down after so many years with him, but too I did not wish him to suffer and his liver was shutting down as well as his kidneys so it was time to say goodbye to my old friend and he rests in peace knowing that I saved him from suffering a horrible remainder of his existence.