Fraud pain people

The post before I wrote "It can be repaired" I wish I had a blue editing pencil. The right way is "IT CAN NEVER BE REPAIRED"

Uh, well not until I leave this Mortal Coil.

Pamela Typoistski

I look GREAT when I go to my PM appointments.  I'll admit it's because I am vain, not because I'm somehow lacking the proper amount of pain to be in that office. 

I begin by always scheduling my appointments in the middle to late afternoon.

Then, I usually start getting ready the night before. 

I have to ask a family member to shave my legs for me, because I'm no longer able to do it myself.  I don't want to be too hairy and 9 times out of 10 the doctor pulls up my pantlegs to check my legs and feet.  

I take my shower, because I always have to rest for several hours after.  Our shower isn't designed for a person in pain and it's not large enough for a chair or anything to make it easier for me.

I get a family member to iron my shirt for me.

I gather all my clothes and hang them on a hook, next to my bed, because I won't be able to go get them when I wake up.  

I set an alarm to wake me early enough to take my morning meds and go back to sleep while the breakthrough med starts to work.  Even scheduling myself that way, the pain will prevent me from standing, so I start dressing while I sit on the edge of my bed, waiting for my meds to work.

I manage to get rid of my bed clothes, then put on my bra and underwear, before I have to call a family member to help me with the rest.  That person will usually get my jeans over my feet and pull them to my knees, where I hold them.   They also put my socks and shoes on, tying my shoe laces in a double knot to prevent them from coming untied while I'm out.  It makes me feel like a 4-year-old. 

Then, I lay back down in the bed, with my pants still at my knees, and wait for the pain to subside enough that I can finally stand up.

Once I'm up, I finally pull my jeans all the way up and then it's off to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth.  I get my make-up bag and take it back to a chair, where I put on my make-up and I start to feel more like a woman and less like a ghost.  I use concealer to cover the darkness under my eyes, from the endless nights of interrupted or no sleep.  I use blush to make my face look like it has some warmth to it, instead of the usual flat, pale, weary complexion.   I create the illusion of my eyes being brighter and wider open.  Then, having had a "break" during my make-up routine, I can go back to the bathroom mirror and fix my hair. 

Then, I require a 2-3 hour nap.  

I get up from my nap with just enough time to put on my shirt, double check my hair, and get to the car.   I have a family member drive me to my appointments, so that I can continue to rest on the way.  I take a breakthrough med 45 minutes to an hour prior to my appontment.

 

When I arrive, I'm wearing my crisply ironed shirt, with my make-up on, my hair fixed, and my breathrough meds in full force.  Then I stand by a wall, waiting until I'm called.  I don't sit in a chair because  I don't want to grunt and groan in order to get up, then do my stiff waddle across the room, while everybody watches me until finally make it to the door.   

When I'm finished with the doctor, I return to the waiting room for my prescriptions, wait in the same manner, and then I leave when I'm finished.

The price of my vanity and the cost of appearing to not belong in that pain office is generally the next 2-3 days of my life, because usually for 2-3 days after my doctor's appointment, I am stuck in bed, exhausted, and counting the hours between pills.   For me, the price is worth the payoff of not looking like the pain is winning.  That's my choice.

When it comes to people who would judge me for my "vanity" or judge my pain based on my appearance, I could turn it around and say why don't you take any pride in your appearance?  Why don't you put forth the extra effort to pull yourself together?  Why do you let yourself look like the pain is getting the best of you?   I could even go as far as to suggest the people who don't put themselves together are using their appearance to supplement the facade of a pain that doesn't exist, in order to get meds they don't really need.

But that wouldn't be fair, now would it?  

It's just as unfair to judge someone who doesn't look like they're in enough pain to meet your idea if "belonging" in a pain clinic or to imply that your need is greater than theirs, because they can pick up a magazine from the floor. 

Bionic I too need help with socks and jeans. When I came out of my first surgery they gave me a helper item to put my own socks on but most of the time hubby puts them on for me and doesn't complain to have to help. I too doll up a bit, its the only time I am able to put on make-up and fix my hair. I have a full length mirror in the bedroom so I can check my appearance before I leave. It too is an all day process to dress and get ready for my appointments. I make mine for the afternoon as well and wake up around 4 am to start my day. Pain meds first, then lay there trying to get a grip before they kick in. I get up slowly make my coffee lay back down waiting for coffee to get done then I get back up grab coffee and go out and sit in the hot tub for an hour. Showering has always been hard for me, so I am able, with the assistance of my husband to get into the tub and I have him wash my hair before he heads off for a short day at work.

I lay there waiting for the pain to stop so that I can finish getting dressed and then head for the bathroom to begin brushing teeth, makeup and contacts plus fixing my hair. I usually have to do this in increments so first I brush my teeth and then lay down waiting for the curling iron to heat up. When I am done curling my hair I have to once again lay down. Then my makeup is too put on in increments, first with my base which is a powder and by the time it is finished layered on I once again must rest. I then put a little blush on and my eyeliner and rest. Then eyeshadow to create the not so tired eyes effect from little to no sleep and rest. Sometimes I will wait until we are in the car to put my make-up on cause its been such a painful day.

Then it is time for the socks and shoes, hubby puts on my socks then as I go by the door I slip on my slip on shoes and head out the door to the car (with bag of meds, purse in hand) If I take my laptop up with me hubby carries it out to the car and helps me in. By this time I am exhausted and in pain once again so I lay the seat back and play a game on the laptop to try and forget the pain.

By the time we get to my doc appt its now taken all I can muster to not scream from the pain. Its an hour and a half ride to my doctor and by the time we reach the parking lot I am ready to kill anyone who gets in my way! Usually all of the handicap parking is taken up and I am forced to walk from the parking lot into the building. Take the elevator to the third floor, walk across the skywalk and again back on an elevator to the next floor. By this time I am completely warn to a frazzle and the pain is so intense that I cannot handle it.

I arrive 15 minutes before my appt. and sit down in the higher chairs so that I don't have to pull myself down too far and wait. After my appt I check out, I already have pain refills in hand and off I go back to the car for a long ride home. It takes two days to recover from this horrid pain of the appt and I'm wiped out and will not do anything for two day proceeding my appt.

I try very hard to not let the pain control my life, but anyone who looks at me can tell I am in pain because I limp.

  Well put Bionic Women.   In my case I  really don't want people friends, family, or fellow patients see how I feel.    When things are really going badly for me it does show and  my family and friends are their to help me out if needed.   My pain specialist and the nurse practitioner understand and treat my pain accordingly and the fact that my pain is at least manageble is as good as it gets.             

Hi Pa Lady: Your comments are always on point !! You should be a Moderator. You are not alone " please" i believe You can private messenger/email me any time life gets You down. I remember reading the rules of this forum but i believe i can be reached via email if You need a voice behind the email/ posts. After reading Denium's message to me my spirit's are much better feeling that i can do something no matter how small to help someone out.
As to taking things personally the thread about fraud people is very touchy for me. My brother committed suicide using illegal prescription pain medication add to that what i see, read,hear and experienced makes me extremely mad when i suspect abuse-- for abuse makes "our lives" so much harder.
Wish i could write something clever right now to brighten Your day but all i can write is that You are not alone as we are all in the same boat and help is somewhere near in the future. Anything i can do please let me know.-- Your friend in good times and bad. tom

Tom I'm so sorry to hear about your brother as well. Its sad to think that our loved ones are abusing these medications that are used for those in pain. My son (youngest) stoled two of my Percocets one night and went out with his friends. I was just getting ready to count my meds that night and noticed the two missing so I was so upset and irate that he would steal from me that I called him on his cell phone and told him that if he did not bring the two pills back I would call the cops and he would go to jail. Within two hours he was home with the two percocet and was bawling that I was mean. Hubby told him that he was not allowed to come back home and that to pack his stuff we were done. Two weeks later my son ended up in jail for the last and final time in his life for under age drinking. Spent 3 months locked in a 3x5 cell and finally after he got out he realized that he had to change his life and went to WI to live with my oldest son. He came home for a visit in May and I was so pleased that he had changed his life around and was no longer doing drugs that I hugged him and told him how proud I was of him.

He told his dad that he was very sorry for stealing two of my pills and I think it scared him straight. Of course I still am edgy to have him around while I am on so many medications and I actually told him this and he said "Mom its going to take a long time before you are able to trust me again and that is my fault, but by god I am going to try very hard to earn your respect back!"

So you see I too have been in a situation where I have watched someone go down hill because of abuse of medications, I got very lucky that my son did not keep going with it and I am very proud of him.

The Kadian works well but for only about 6 hours. I take 200mgs twice a day and it does have a tendency to make me quite sleepy but what other choice do I have. The percocet however is not working for the B/T pain and that is why my doc wants to do another Mylogram to see if they can pinpoint where the nerves are being pinched. Doc says that if they can't find anything there that he will talk to WC of Wyoming to see if a pian pump would be more efficient to settle the pain.

This has been a great discussion. Even tho people disagree here and there I've learned a few new things. We're in a rural setting and my doc started a clinic many years ago about 5 minutes from where I live. Now there are 2 docs, a PA, a NP, several nurses and a new intern. He does manage my pain but he goes to seminars on pain management, among other types of study. He really does want to help people have quality to their lives. No waiting except on a rare occasion some kid totaled his bike and doc is picking out the gravel from his face!...lol He's not afraid to say, "I don't know" and refer you to a specialist. If you don't care for the one he chose he'll find a different one. He writes the scripts in front of you and hands them to you, out to the front desk for a new appointment and away I go. I do feel so very lucky.

Tom, I do wish and pray for some relief for you my friend. I agree that living pain free 'should' be a right but for some of us just having reduced pain is all we can expect. We should be entitled to the best medicine has to offer and not made to feel criminal. I'm thankful I don't have to deal with that.

Hugs and love to you all...
Chutzie

Great, just what we need, chronic pain patients playing cop at the pain clinics. Make a bust, hits the papers, and that helps us how? Get your own clinic shut down. I lost two sisters to drug overdoses, and my heart breaks every day of my life over it. However, I don't have a substance abuse problem, and I never have. I'm 50 years old, and I took the first narcotic ever just 18 months ago. I have head to toe pain from fibro, spinal stenosis, a neck that's such a mess that it feels like it's going to fall off, and spasms that go into my jaw. I've got a doctor who's terrified to prescribe me the pain meds I need, but she does, and I thank God every month. She cut my meds down this month. When I asked her why and told her I was barely functioning on what I have now, she told me that all this alternative medicine she has lined up for me should make up the difference. She's a new doctor, as I just lost my wonderful PCP of 13 years due to a change in insurance.

I take very good care of myself, and I always look nice when I go to any doctor's visit. I plan my pain management so my pain is controlled for the few hours for the visit. If someone looked at me, they'd see a picture of health. When I go home, if I don't take my meds or if it's one of those days that the meds aren't working, I'm in bed, moaning and crying like an animal caught in a trap. Nobody, but nobody has the RIGHT to judge me, from looking at me. I didn't ask for this hell on earth, this vicious cycle of suspicious looks from pharmacists, doctors, nurses, some relatives, and I guess now, fellow pain sufferers. I didn't ask for this, but I sure got it. My doctor, who's a young one, fresh out of school. Big on mind over matter. I can yoga this pain away, visualization, aromatheropy, do physical therapy, even though it's a chore to walk down to get my mail or put a good dinner on the table for my husband. I'm told I can even breathe this away. Never mind that I have DDD, arthritis, spurs, severe stenois in my neck, let's get that incense going.

I tell my doctor that I'll jump through her hoops, but let's all agree that I have to get out of bed first. That's even a chore. I put my pills in a little cup in my nightstand drawer at night. Water bottle on top of nightstand. An Oxy, a Percocet, Lyrica, Motrin, Elavil. The pain wakes me up with a vengeance. I take my meds, and I wait and I pray for the pain relief, as it varies. I can't get up until I get some relief. If I do, I hit the floor. So I wait, and yeah, I usually have to pee real bad, but that has to wait. When the pain relief starts to set in, I'm still holding onto the walls to get to the bathroom. Bending over to brush my teeth often brings tears to my eyes. Brushing my hair hurts, for various reasons. It's either my elbows, neck, shoulders, or lately my wrists that hurt. I also have Osteoarthritis, everywhere. That I've had for 10 years. The narcotics are for my neck pain, which goes into my upper back, arms, and even my ribcage. I feel like someone put a pain bomb inside me. I never did recreational drugs, never cared for alcohol, and I quit smoking 25 years ago. For the first few hours of my day, I walk like a 90-year old. I schedule all my doctor appointments for mid-day. I take an extra Percocet those days. In the waiting area, I read a magazine or chat with the person next to me, if they're friendly. By looking at me, you'd never know that my life is being torn apart by pain. Never judge a book by its cover. Never judge. We, of all people, should know that. It's nice to see that most do. I believe we're in a war, and it's us against them. Anyone that's living this nightmare knows what I'm referring to. To that end, sometimes it's best to look the other way, and certainly don't go looking for trouble. Don't help the other side. It's hard enough for us.

I think that none of use chose this life of pain and misery, but its there and we have no choice but to deal with it in our own way. I know that when I go to my PCP I try very hard to be "Normal" whatever that may be, but I know for a fact that my doc does not think that I am faking and realizes that I am in pain. Yes it has turned my life upside down and I am cooped up in the house 7 days a week, but I am the one who has to learn to deal with my pain and try to cope through the bad days as best I can.

Yesterday I was in so much pain that I could not even move without it hurting so bad that I felt like I was going to pass out. I prayed last night that the pain would be lessened today when I awoke, as I do every night, but when I woke up this morning the pain that was coursing through my legs and back was so horrendous that I laid there for quite a while trying to hold the urge to get up and go to the bathroom until the pain ended. Hubby brought in my pain meds and told me to rest until the meds caught up and I told him that I had to go to the bathroom so bad, so he helped me out of bed and into the bathroom so that I could do my thing and then helped me back to bed.

Here I lie waiting for the pain to stop or at least allow my body to relax but it is hard since the spasms and leg pain shoots awful pain through my legs and my back with such force that I have a tendency to tense up when the pain is really bad. uh ohhh, time for coffee "Hunnnyyyy" ugg this is getting so old and I am so mad at my back for being so stubborn. Sorry guys and gals, bad day once again I'm crying so I'll stop for now

Dagger: I agree 100 % with You

Unfortunately, the health care system seems to be working on the opposite assumption. That's the problem. Health care and law enforcement while they need to work together to a certain degree, have two separate and distinct purposes which shouldn't get confused, but too often are.

PaLady