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Posted 8/4/2008 4:12 PM (GMT 0)

Scarred_for_life said...
awww Tom, I too am sorry for this loss. I have no words to comfort you as I have lost family members as well and I was in a very dark place for a long time just a few years ago. The only thing that I can suggest is to get help in dealing with this loss and I hope that soon you will be back to your old self laughing and joking with us about things. My prayers are with you through your struggles and I truly hope that you can find a way out of this depression.

I lost my nephew to bone cancer three years ago and I know the emotional roller coaster that accompanies this horrid experience in life. David was a strength that I can never replace, he was always there encouraging me to find a way to work through the pain and helped me gobs when it came to understanding why I was in so much pain. I got into a car accident three years ago and was on my way to say goodbye to him before the cancer took his body. Ten minutes before the accident David died and his last words to his mother was "Mom I gotta go....aunt needs my help." then he passed. It was so hard for me to realize this but I believe that David was there comforting me through the accident and keeping me safe from harm. I recall hearing his voice in my head saying "not your time yet auntie....need you to help mom and dad through my death and you are the strength of this family so you cannot die."

Anyway hun....hope you are ok and things will be ok soon I promise. Your friend in pain....

Scarred

Thanks Scarry: I am real scared right now, loss of con man so called friend, betrayal, My cherished support groups are now torn apart, so much damage and mental stress, Con mans Wife is my Wifes best friend and He destroyed Her and She's now under my roof. Last week I thought I be lying back teasing Sea gulls except now Iam trying to figure out what to do with myself and figure out who is friend or foe.. Later this week we are going up to Slippery Rock where we have a small home to get a way. took me years to build my little pain support world and I doubt if i can ever rebuild. Thanks for Your kind words so many members contacted me makes e feel wanted and needed. Loved Your David story and I am so sorry for Your loss. Gonna go feed my Goat and burn all the photos of me and con man. Your feeling real bad, Scared Tommy
Posted 8/4/2008 4:26 PM (GMT 0)

kara487 said...
I am sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers.

Kara: Thank You, Tom
Posted 8/4/2008 5:47 PM (GMT 0)
Tom i am so so sorry for your loss and your previous loss as well. I have been through it twice as well with my uncle and my father. Its not easy to handle that why i had to go speak with someone. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers! You sound like a very strong man and i know you might say well how strong do you really need to be but you will be rewarded one day for all your sorrow! As it was said in this thread already we all will be here for ya but try to also go to a phsyc doc for a little ectra support. Your right they might not understand all but they will help you unberden and they will take all that anger you have inside of you and understand that! God Bless you and please dont be afraid to ge tthe help we ALL need at times!
Posted 8/4/2008 10:46 PM (GMT 0)
Tom, im so sorry to hear about your loss. Im sure Buddy was a very special friend to you. Those of us who have lost loved ones know that it's important to get help in the greving process. Wether its your family , friends or a professional, find someone who can help you get through this.

We are here in the mean time to help you any way we can!
Big, gentle hugs
Posted 8/5/2008 12:59 AM (GMT 0)
I do have to give a prop to therapy here, cause it sounds like it might be a good idea. Most therapists, become therapists because of something really bad happened in their lives and they have used it as a transcendent tool. It might take you several times to get the right one, but please don't completely rule it out.
Posted 8/5/2008 3:28 AM (GMT 0)
Hi MMMnavy: Wish i could turn back the hands of time and had not posted this Topic. I also belong to another online support group and posted this topic there also. As a result I recieved over 400 to date replies together with emails. While I only recieved one negative reply about writing about what happened
and how i violated the Groups rules all the rest have been heart-breaking with love and support.
When all this happened I only posted a third of what happened as I fell apart and had to quickly end my writing then I insisted on sending a reply to each and every person who sent me their understanding and love. Herein ly's my problem not thinking clearly in some of my return emails I got very graphic and in others my rage was expressed.. By nature i am a very fun loving guy and enjoy being quite the clown. In my life i found that people either love me or hate me there is seldom middle ground. If i feel like someone dislikes me I'll push them away with a constant barrage of stories or jokes
this same type of dark humor reared it's ugly head when I was out of control with anger expressing my anger at the person who caused this problem.
Telling the whole story would cause me to be tossed out of this forum as what happened is not allowed to be discussed ' Rule !"
Therefore Most people on this forum only know what i posted and while I feel they should know the whole thing as I would like them to watch out and make sure it never happens to them but rules are rules and there is a good reason for them.---- I belonged to two Support groups that met weekly and both have been torn apart where everyone is accusing everyone else of having knowledge and not informing everyone else ( Does this make sense ? ) I guess I'm trying to say a lot of finger pointing. I avoided being pointed at
because my family were victims and will suffer for months to come.
I guess I would rather the forum's remembering me as I was prior to this nightmare. Sorry but I need to vent/ talk as around my home is like being at a funeral home and it's depressing this clown.
Thank you for your kind thoughts and for allowing me to vent. tom
Posted 8/5/2008 4:01 AM (GMT 0)

PAlady said...
Tom,
You do have my deepest sympathies. This is an extraordinarily difficult challenge for you to deal with. We can be here for support, but I really do encourage you to try to accept help from professionals in addition to your family, friends, and us here. Notice I said "in addition". Therapists can help you deal with your grief, and make sure your depression doesn't get any deeper. We don't want anything to happen to you! Please, don't turn your back on those trained to help!

PaLady


Hello PA Lady: I was quite happy to see and read Your post. I believe You know in Your heart how i feel about you. Thanks for agreeing to disagree. Sign of friendship.
Past day I have been lashing out at anyone or anything that even remotely disturbed me and this type of behavior simply is not me. There was a lot more that happened and iam sure you have read between the lines and have a good idea as to what happened to my wife, family and I --- also now living with me is his widow until She can get professional help. After this happened I felt myself going into a deep black hole and fought going into it by not clamming up and expressing myself ( not holding it in -to eat me alive) I thought about inviting you to meet my wife and i as we will be several miles apart as we are going up to Slippery Rock very soon. But now would be a terrible time You have enough problems of your own and do not need our misery. Again thanks Tommy
Posted 8/5/2008 6:53 AM (GMT 0)
Tom, I can't add anything that hasn't already been said by the caring people that have responded to your thread except to add my own condolences and prayers.Take care and may God Bless you and yours....................Rod
Posted 8/5/2008 2:17 PM (GMT 0)
I have just read this entire thread and my sincere sympathies are with you

Animals have been known to lower your Blood pressure
Calm you down
They DO know when you hurt IMHO

May Peace find you soon
Thoughts and prayers with you

.........LYN
Posted 8/5/2008 4:53 PM (GMT 0)

Hello Tom,

This is Kitt and I read your entire thread too. I am truly sorry for your losses as death is final and we get no second chances.  I have lost many and one was my son so I understand pain and grief.  Each person goes through grief in their own way and their own time frame.  You have my prayers to help you through the beginning of your grieving process............I really hate the word process as it is now a part of your life and who you are.

I am extremely proud of the responses you received from  the members of HealingWell.

You did mention counseling and how they would not understand as they had not walked in your shoes.  I would ask you to please remember that therapists are normal people like you and I and they are not there to seek comfort from you but to  help you through the depression and pain.  We do not know what they have lived through, it may be far more traumatic then our own pain.

Again my deepest sympathy to you.

Kitt

Posted 8/5/2008 8:24 PM (GMT 0)
Dear Tom in pain, I have the so much saddness for what you are going through. I know the rulesmso here is an idea. You need to get it all out. your feelings that is. Glad you have fruit loops. and it sounds like you have a great wife and good friends. sorry your friend did that to you. I don't understand his thinking. But if you need to talk it out and want someone who will listen and be a shoulder you can write to me directly. which is probably a rule breaker to. but if it is lindaloo will let me know. You can write my e-mail address directly. D I have lost a good friend actually 3 friends the same way your friend went out. write if you want. I have great ears to heR AND a faith that you will get through this with help from friends , fMILY, THIS BOARD. WHICH EVERYONE HAS BEEN WOBDERFUL. so I was just throwing you a line if you need to  get it all out. hugs and prayers to you and yours. Donna smurf

_______________________________________________________

email is in her profile.

Post Edited By Moderator (MMMNAVY) : 8/5/2008 5:16:53 PM (GMT-6)

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