How it feels...

I don't know if any of you have ever watched the television show "Grey's Anatomy" before... I don't usually watch it, but someone suggested that I watch the latest episode, so I found it online at the abc website and watched. Along with a lot of story line that I didn't follow there was the story of a man who had been living with severe migraine pain for seven years. In the show he kept saying it was "at an 8" and they said he was on some pretty major pain meds. In the course of the show, it was discovered that he had a very rare (but very real) condition which caused a nerve in his nose to be inflamed and thereby caused the pain.

But here's why I would encourage you to watch it... After he was diagnosed, there is a scene where he describes how it felt to be ridiculed, disbelieved, belittled, and even called crazy over the years of his pain condition. The writers of this scene must have known someone who had experienced something like this. It could have been me on the show except for the location of the pain. It brought me to tears. I wish I knew a way to copy that part of the video so that I could share it with some of the people in my life who don't understand what this is like for me.

What a blessing to be able to come here and find encouragement and friendship without judgment.
Ry

Ry,
I wish I would have watched that episode! I watch sometimes, but not much so far this season. And on this dial up connection I can't watch streaming video. I'll try to catch it when it's re-run.

It's so validating to see those rare times when pain is treated adequately, and when how we all feel inside get illuminated in a way others can see.

Hugs to you, friend,
PaLady

Oh my gosh...i'm so excited i can post here again!

I've been lurking for so long, cuz i forgot my login information, but i finally found it!  :)

The mention of Grey's Anatomy made me remember i guess lol.

I LOVE Grey's.

And yes, that storyline of the man w/ the pain level at "8"...

i totally understood it all.

I've had a nurse at the ER tell me before..."There is no way you would be smiling if your pain level was an 8!"

OMG i was so mad...i was like..."If i never smiled when my pain was an 8, then i'd barely ever smile."

Just cuz you force a smile to be somewhat "nice", doesn't make your pain hurt any less!!

Also, did you notice the comment when Christina said something like she thinks he's a baby or something or can't tolerate much pain...something like that!

And then they did this whole thing where Alex was trying to "hurt" her to see if she would be in pain???

Well maybe if SHE had a headache every freaking day of her life....at the pain level of 8,  she could understand what it was a like...but to make a comment like that when she has no clue what it feels like infuriates me!!  And i'm sorry, but Alex trying to make her cry in pain for one second from a "sting" of him doing whatever he was doing to her arm does NOT count!!!!!!!!!!!!  Grrrrrrrrrr!!!!

Like i said, i love my Grey's!!!!!!

But Christina drives me insane lol!

She actually gets excited when there is some crazy trauma coming in just so she can operate in some really cool surgery!!!!!!!!!!!!

She gets pleasure out of other people's pain!!!!!!!

I know....it's just a show lol....

but don't get me started!  Lol!

 

Btw, i wanted to add this...

the other day my friend and i were talking...she's having some problems right now (might be her gallbladder) and i asked her how she was feeling.

She responded and then asked how i was feeling.

I told her i was "ok" and that i was so sorry she was in pain.

She said, "But you are in pain everyday of your life!  :("

I said, "Yeah but people are used to that about me"

She said, "Yeah, but that's worse, cuz then people can just forget, but you're still suffering no matter what"

It was so nice to have someone recognize that!

Like just cuz we don't "complain" or talk about our pain 24/7 doesn't mean it's not real and it's not there.

I just wanted to share that.  :)

Post Edited (JB1363) : 10/12/2008 4:35:39 AM (GMT-6)

JB:

I agree with PaLady - that friend of yours is a keeper! As far as the arm slapping thing, I guess I really didn't pay attention to that part. I didn't follow a lot of the plot, but I am also getting pretty accustomed to tuning out the thoughtlessness of people who don't know any better. As your friend probably began to understand, until you've been where we are - well, you just can't get it. It's the difference between sympathy and empathy I guess.

Serious pain has been a part of my life ever since I was young. My first migraine happened when I was about 10, and my first major back pain incident happened when I was about 15. But even then I could only sympathize with people who suffered CHRONIC pain. During those first years, my pain would go away. Sure, I felt this terrible for a while - when it was a migraine I would have a day or two of living at an 8-9 on the "pain scale" and when the back went it was a week or two, but I always knew the end was in sight. It would stop. Yes, my pain was severe, but it was nothing like what it is to have that same pain every single moment of every single day always and forever and have no hope that it will ever end.

Now I am seven years into my "new" life as a chronic pain sufferer. Now, I can empathize with others who suffer chronic pain conditions. Do I wish that my friends would have been able to empathize with me? That my family could? Well, yes and no. I know that they will never understand this - what I'm going through - what my life is like every day, and when they say or do thoughtless things or even hurt me without intending to, well, in those moments I do sometimes wish they could feel it, know it, live it. But in my heart of hearts, I love them too much to really wish that on them. So many nights when I lay in bed crying from pain that keeps me from sleeping and counting the minutes until I can take the next dose of medicine that barely takes the edge off and wishing someone, anyone, was here to just wrap their arms around me and acknowledge the pain but want to be there with me anyway... Well, in those moments I know I couldn't wish this on even the most horrible person I know.

So the best thing I know to do is just to ignore them. Most often those "Cristina" comments just betray the ignorance of the speaker. Let them talk. I don't have the energy to care what they think anymore.

Ry

I very seldom watch greys but I do like it I was just wondering how many of you watch the medical chanals like code blue that are reinactments of real hospital treatments.Just after I was diagnosed with a infection in my back called discites I seen two shows that had cases like mine one was on DR. G and one was on storys of the E.R. Before that I had never even heard of it.