I Am Terrified Of Surgery ...

I am worried that my MRI is going to indicate that I need surgery.

This is the problem: I carry a great deal of pain with me every single day.
I feel like a surgery would push me over the edge. That is: I'm afraid
I simply could not take it. There would be even more pain associated with
Surgery. My husband can't take care of me after I have Surgery.

I had surgery twenty years ago on a teeny tiny vericose vein. I was running
a lot and my vanity would not allow for any imperfection. I should have been
sent to a psychiatrist, but instead the General Surgeon cut my legs up so
bad. The surgery didn't work, it left some lumps. Two months later I was
having surgery AGAIN. Oh terrible pain. Sleepless hurting nights.
Nightmares. My mom came to take care of my two kids.

MY QUESTION: My MRI is scheduled for noon on Monday. I thought I would
call and tell that that I had intestinal flu and would not be able to make it.
Do you think I'll be responsible for paying for my space? Also, Can you
predict what my pain doctor will think?

Might the doctor not prescribe Methadone if the MRI shows that I need a surgery?!

Oh, Help!
Pamela

Neither surgery worked. I have imperfection. I've always been bothered by it.

Post Edited (Pamela Neckpain) : 3/15/2009 12:01:55 AM (GMT-6)

Hi Pam:

I am new to this site, so I know we haven't corresponded before, but I agree with White Beard. You might experience some discomfort from laying still for the MRI, but I think it's important for you as well as your doctor to know what you are dealing with. Noone can make you have surgery if you don't want it, and it should be an absolute last resort. As my doctor told me years ago, "it's not a life and death issue, it is a quality of life issue", and only you truly knows how you are feeling and what your pain tolerance is. I'd be worried if you weren't scared!

I have had 22 back surgeries, 3 c-sections, gallbladder removal, and a gastric pacemaker implanted in my stomach, and unfortunately, I will be having surgery again in the near future to replace my neurostimulator battery, and will continue to have to have surgeries for the rest of my life, and no matter how "routine", "minor", or "major" they are, there are always a lot of factors to consider - it will be mean more pain for a period of time, but it's different than your chronic pain, because the surgical pain will go away in time, and you do have to consider what limitations you will have after surgery and how that will affect your ability to care for yourself and your family, but that too is temporary.

Whatever you decide, we fellow CP'ers will be here to help you through in whatever way we can!!

Pamela,

I agree with what everyone has said so far. Look, even if your MRI does show that you have an injury which may need to be repaired surgically, that does not mean that you have to have the surgery! It is probably not going to be a life or death situation, making the surgery entirely elective. Most people are terrified of surgery. In fact, I'd be worried about you if you actually liked surgery! There are plenty of people who know that they have injuries/problems which can only be fixed by surgery, but for whatever reason, they have decided that they do not want to be operated on. Also, just because one doctor recommends surgery, does not mean that this is the only option! Surgery may help you, or it may not. If it is being recommended, there is a greater chance that it will help you than that it won't, but at the same it, it is only one doctor's opinion. You can always seek out second opinions or look for other routes to try. There have got to be alternatives that you can try first. You certainly do NOT have to rush into things! But even if you end up trying alternatives & they don't help, you still do not have to have surgery if you do not want to. The option will always be there if you decide at some point that you would like to try it. If I were you, I'd keep the MRI appointment. It's already all set up & taken care of. And like fatherjohn said, there must have been a reason why you were pursing this MRI in the first place. You have pain. Hopefully the MRI will even be able to give you doctors better insight into how to relieve that pain, whether or not it be through surgery or some other modality. Again, like fatherjohn said, maybe things won't be as bad as you expect. There is no harm in having the test done.

Step back & take a nice deep breath. Picture yourself somewhere relaxing & just try to calm down. Things will be just fine.

Skeye

Post Edited (skeye) : 3/14/2009 11:37:12 PM (GMT-6)

Pamela,
I think probably they would charge you for the missed visit. It might not be as much as if they had done the procedure, but it could be hundreds of dollars. I panicked about fusion surgery back in December & canceled it the day before surgery. Now I owe hundred to the hospital & of course since I canceled it was not covered by insurance. Like the others said, just go to the MRI & go from there.

I know you're really panicked about having any kind of surgery. I was really worried when I had my first surgery since they were going to be cutting into my head & neck. I was young & unmarried and I didn't want to be marred for life and unable to ever pull my hair up again (okay, that was silly & crazy since I was facing paralysis if I didn't have the surgery, but that was my concern). I interviewed 4 different NS's about the cutting & found one who was double-licensed in neurosurgery & plastic surgery. He did a plastic closure that you can barely even see even if my hair is pulled up & I point it out to you -- and that's saying a lot since it was a 5" incision. It is pretty impressive what they can do these days.

Beyond that, my mom had surgery for varicose veins & it is really, really painful. You need to put all the pressure on your legs to walk, whereas that is not the case for your neck or back. I was home 24 hours after my crainiotomy/laminectomy & was out running 3 days post-op. I had a soft cervical collar that I could wear sometimes to take basically all the pressure off my neck, but I really didn't need it much. Depending on your insurance, you could probably qualify for a home care nurse to come for the first few days to first few weeks depending on how involved the surgery is.

I know at some point you mentioned getting a pump implanted. That really isn't involved at all & you probably could be out of the hospital the same day. Everyone I know has been out the same day or next day & didn't need much help at all with things. Their PM gave them extra meds for the post-op pain & they were fine. It is not a deep incision for putting those in (I have a Spinal Cord Stimulator & it was really not a huge deal) & you can get tiny stitches or a plastic closure for those too, just need to find a NS/PM who is willing & able do so -- shouldn't be too hard to find out there in CA, I would think. It will be a bit painful for a while, but then you will be so much better & you will be able to actually enjoy doing things again & either get a job or enjoy retirement with your husband.

I know it's a tough decision to make & I certainly don't mean to make light of it, but you have been in such bad shape for so long that maybe it is worth at least considering what surgery would mean for you. Definitely don't take the first surgeon at his word. Get a second, and if possible a third, consultation until you are comfortable with a plan of action (which may or may not include surgery). Then just go for it! We will be here to support you no matter what you decide, but you owe it to yourself to find out if there is something out there that can let you life a full and happy life. :)

hugs,
frances

White Beard: I KNOW some want to do surgery. Six years ago when I was going
through the phase of wondering if surgery would help two Neurologists, a General Practioner,
a Rhematologist all said, "Do not get surgery until you cannot walk or control
yourself."
An Orthopedic Surgeon and a neurosurgery were both in favor of doing surgery.
I have been through it - this is not to imply that anyone on this forum has not been
through it.
At the moment i asked for the MRI, I felt like my arm was falling off (separating at
the shoulder) shudder. It has since gotten better.
How did they do your sugery from the front? My C5-C6 would be from the back.
Thank You for responding. I am not in the best place. Our retirement stocks collapsed at the
same time my body collapsed. "It's Always Something" <Gilda Radner>
My best friend ever in the world wide lived in Placerville. She was a well-known artist.
Gosh, I miss her so much. I still think ... "Oh, I gotta phone Carol!" She was 57.
Thank you, White Beard. Now I'll pinch that chinny chin chin.
Pamela

I want to post some other people tonight or in the AM.

Post Edited (Pamela Neckpain) : 3/15/2009 12:28:30 AM (GMT-6)

Bluejet 2,

You will like it here on this part of the forum. We're glad you're here. With that new
surgery coming on, you may enjoy a better quality of life.

"As my doctor told me years ago, it's not a matter of life and death. It's a matter
of quality of life." Those are some good words to consider. Your doctor was a
knowing man. And you, a knowing woman.

It's a good feeling when people respond to your cries. Bluejet, if you should ever
ever cry we'll respond to you as quick as we can. We even laugh. I've laughed
more on some other boards ... but humor does come up. uh huh.

Pamela

Post Edited (Pamela Neckpain) : 3/15/2009 2:22:28 AM (GMT-6)

Frances,

My ear perked way way up when you said I'd probably have to pay for
the dang MRI even if I did not go. Ack! I'll skip my plan of telling them
I have dysentery.

Vanity runs high in our families, I think. You had all this concern
because surgery might wreck your hair do. I had all this big whoop
surgery for a little purple thing in the back of my leg. I just had to
look cool on the orange track that was half a block from my house.
I didn't need the surgery at all and now a days, the surgeon woulldn't
have gotten away with it.

I'd tell you more about that but it's too late. It's the funny part too.

What was the cause of you having surgery when you were so very young?
Your parents must have been wrecks. Maybe you don't share this information.
Maybe you have already posted it and I missed it.

Like my other e-mails, yours made really good sense. Especially when
you mentioned that I'd been in pain for so long ... why not? So true.

It would be truly awful if I had the MRI and that big machine looked at
my entire skeleton and came back with the message I was in good shape.
I'd have to hang my head very very low.

I'd go straight to a psychiatrist who would recommend me to a
psychologist. I wonder what kind of pills they'd come up with.
And what would be the diagnosis??

Hugs,
Pamela

PS

Psychiatrist prescribes Xanax and Celexa.

Pamela,

((((((((((((((((((((Pamela)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Sometimes not knowing is way worse, so please do as everyone is asking, we will be here for you!

XXOO
Patti 

 

Pamela

I do know that Thomas Kinkade "the painter of light" is orriginally from Placerville and grew up there, and he has nice art gallery there right on main streeet. Allot of his paintings are based on scenes from that area.

White Beard

Pamela,
I had surgery to correct a birth defect. My skull didn't grow large enough & it was squishing my brain down into my neck. Sounds worse than it actually was, but I definitely don't regret getting treatment.

As for my parents, I made the mistake of telling them the first time. My mom had a panic attack in the pre-op room (definitely did not help me stay calm). Then she called my g-ma who had a mild heart attack. It was no good. From that point forward, I found a friend who would take me for surgeries & I didn't tell my parents about them until after the fact. That worked out much better for everyone. :)

I was thinking last night about your post about how many opinions you've gotten about surgery. I didn't realize you had gotten so many. I was reminded of how much time I spent when I was first suggested surgery getting opinions, researching my condition, investigating every little detail of the surgery down to the different brands of drills they could use & the benefits/risks of each. It was out of control & finally my neurologist said to me that I had way more than enough information & that I needed to just make a decision and go with it.

I think that may be good advice for you as well. You already have all the information you need. There are no "good" options, so you just need to choose one that you feel gives you the best odds of being able to live the life you want to live. If that's surgery, then just sign up & get it over with. If not, let it go & stop getting so many opinions. It's hard advice to hear, I know -- or at least it was for me -- but you're not doing yourself any good by constantly debating which way to go. All that does is raise stress & make it even harder to make a decision.

I do wish you the best & am sure that which ever way you choose to go will be the right decision for you.

blessings,
frances

Pamela,

I have just been able to read your post about the MRI. I am with everyone else. It is a relief to know why you are having symptoms. I also have had a cervical fusion at C4C5. I was hurt on the job, (federal), and was having headaches and left arm pain and numbness in my hands. The compensation department sent me to a ortho specialist who wanted to give me spinal epidurals and muscle relaxants. But the doc could not tell me why he wanted to give me the cervical epidurals. On my own, which later made my compensation claim null and void, I went to my personal doc. He suggested an MRI which showed a "massive herniation with significant spinal cord compression". Two days later my nuerosurgeon, Dr. Zeiger performed the surgery in Birmingham, AL and I walked away from the hospital two days after the surgery. I was not suppose to be able to walk after the surgery but God and my doc had other plans. The incision is in the front of my neck, at a crease, and I still don't notice it. I was younger, married with two young children, and bills. I was much more stressed while not knowing what was happening to me than when I knew that I might face a wheel chair. I seem to do better when I know what to plan for than when my future is uncertain. Even though I lost my right to claim worker's compensation I believe that haveing the MRI was the best decision. Especially since my nerosurgeon later told me that the spinal cord had so much compression on it that if anyone had slapped me on the back of the neck, or a simple whiplash had happened, that I had risked losing whatevever the compressed nerves controlled.

Best wishes Pamela.      

Frankie

A health care professional can charge you a fee for a late cancellation or not showing providing they have informed you of that in advance (and there's lots of fine print in those sheets we get, so you need to see if it's there), and providing they apply the same policy fairly to all patients. Now there may be something in certain agreements with insurance providers that prohibit this, but it gets complicated because those may be in contracts between the provider and the insurance company, which patients generally don't see. You can call your insurance company and ask if a given provider is permitted to do this, but in many cases they are.

Valuable time is lost when people cancel at the last minute or don't show for an appointment without a good reason. I know from both sides of that equation. A lot of people who work in my field are now being paid only if a patient shows up, especially if they are working part time. Because the agency or hospital loses the money. And in a lot of cases there can be waiting lists for procedures like surgeries or MRI's and it's too late to schedule someone to utilize that time. Again, in most cases if you're ill or there's a true emergency providers don't charge this, but try to think about it from both sides of the coin.

PaLady