I have been away for a short time and as some of you know that means overworking and paying a price. I have been meditating on pain and had to sit down and write myself a letter about
pain. I won't bore you with all of it but here is the jest of my thoughts.
Physical pain comes and stays as long as it wants. It does not confine itself to one specific area but specializes in showing its ability to manefest itself in different places at the same time and varies its intensity at will. It seems to have a mind and will of its own. But that is physical pain. The doctors sometimes think or possible can identify the pain and its possible cure or more often a regiment of treatment which is to make it manageable. Otherwise they would be called pain unmanagement doctors and who would want to go there. The cure does not seem to come as easy as our hopes do as we seek a reprieve from it.
But the physical pain gives birth to other pain. Pain with memories from the past. Pain that attcaks the mind with a depth that has no bottom. This emotional pain or defined at times a depression and even anxiety, attacks with a ruthlessness that even overwhelms the physical pain at times. It never replaces the physical pain but joins with a vengence on its own. How about the pain of not being able to be the person you used to be. Or the pain of not being able to function in normal ways that used to be taken for granted. Even having pain rob you of the things that at one time held the power to give pleasure and satisfaction. Then there is the pain that comes from demolished hope as we start with a road map with many different lines in different directions but the more we travel the roads of hope, we find that the roads are often dead ends or circle drives that bring you back to the same place you started. There is pain over missed opportunities to be iwith the fullness life that are reserved for others not so consumed with pain.
We dream, meditate on, wish for, bargin for, hope for relief and a pardon from this life of pain that saturates more areas of our life as we go on. Then we are faced with the pain of not. Not getting any of the prizes that were supposed to be at the end of the hope and desire rainbow. The pot waiting at the end is filled with perscriptions, dr appointments, anothet therapy, a differnt doctor and more as we dig through the pot. The life of pain rises to more levels then we ever imagined. And if we think the pains of today are beyond imagination, wait until tomorrow, who knows what pain possibilities awate the next sunrise. Have you met your pains today?