withdrawing from oxycodone please help

about a year ago my doctor placed me on oxycodone for sciatica, l5 disc rupture, and endodemetriosis. I started with 60 pills a month which gradually increased to 120. This last month was the first time I misused the medicine and started taking 6 a day instead of the 4 prescribed. I ran out early (which I have done before and ben a little depressed but ok). This month when I ran out early by the secnd day I was severely depressed, having seizures, diaarhea, no appetite,and shaking violently. I have suddenly become aware that I have a serious addiction. I was able to obtain a prescription from my family doctor to help me until I see my pain management doctor. I need to know how much of a dose i should take daily to taper off. I got my medicine last night and took 2 every 4 hours. My last dose was at 630 last night and when I woke up this morning at 9 I started shaking violently. I tried to hold off until 10. I had another seizure. So I took 2 at 1030. I am so saddened that I have allowed myself to become this way. I feel utterly pathetic. To top it all off, I have been in AA for 11 years. I thought because it was a prescrition I was OK. I am soo embarassed and ashamed of myself. Can anyone tell me how to taper off this drug?  Also I still have chronic pain. Can anyone help me 

Norris,
Welcome to the chronic pain forum of Healing Well. The recommendation Jag gave you is the best - you need to contact your PM doctor and ASAP. Having seizures, withdrawal symptoms can be life-threatening. If necessary go to the E.R., but you can't keep trying to withdraw on your own. That's the addictive thinking that you already know about.

Now there is a difference between addiction and becoming physically dependent on a medicaiton. Most all of us become physically dependent on our pain medications, but that doesn't mean someone is addicted. However, because of your history with alcohol, you may have become addicted to the pain medications simply because of the way the body works. Regardless, you first need some help with the medications, and deciding with your PM whether you're going to stay on them or try another avenue for pain management. Taking more than prescribed is one red flag of addictive behavior. But you will still need help with your pain.

An Addictionologist, who is a doctor who specializes in treating addictions, may be helpful, but it depends on how skilled your pain management doctor is.

But please, please get some medical help immediately for what you're going through. We're not doctors here, and can't offer medical advice, but can support you as you follow your doctor's instructions.

PaLady

Post Edited (mrsm123) : 9/17/2009 9:01:09 PM (GMT-6)

   Dear Norris 1975,

     Good morning   My name is Dani. It is very nice to meet you. I know you are going through a ruff time, but!!! You are seeking support and help and , that, is a great first step! It must be very hard to type out what is going on with you. I truly appreciate your honesty! Someone, sometime, will be going through the same thing. They will appreciate and relate to all your going through. So, thank you for joining us. I do hope you decide to stay and let us get to know you better.

     I do not know about "self withdrawl". I do have medicines that case physical dependence, but my doctors take care of upping / lowering my dose. It isnt anything I have to "worry" about becuase, well, they k now what they are doing and I trust them whole heartedly. One thing I think folks tend to forget when dealing with withdrawl is that their doctors are trained to handle just this sort of thing. Even if your current doctors cannot help you, there are other who will. It is okay to be frightened and worried... BUT!! If you were to tell your doctor what is going on, in the same way you told us here. They can help. As others have said.. Physically, it is dangerous to withdrawl without doctors assistance. Very serious issues can occur within the heart and many other organs.

     I should probably stop here or I will chat your eyes off! Anga, it really was very nice to meet you. I hope you give us a chance to get to know you better.

*warm huggs*

dani

Post Edited (mrsm123) : 9/17/2009 9:00:44 PM (GMT-6)

Well.
I checked my bp yestuarday and it was 169/98. That sounds high but it is a big improvement for me. All the treatment centers that have called me back want to put me on methadone or suboxone and I dont want that. Yestuarday I lowered my dose again to a half a pill every 4 hours. I have really tried to push the envelope, however this morning I woke up in an incredible amount of sciatica and RA(I also have rheumatoid arthritis) pain. My doctor always told me to take 1 percocet 1 ibuprophen and 1 muscle relaxer before my whole body inflames. I am starting to feel better but my friend and I realize we are not physicians.I plan on sticking to the 1/2 pill every 4 hours and spreading it out more tomorrow. At this point I dont know what to do, which is why God gives us doctors and friends like you guys. I feel soo much better today soo far as the withdrawal and depression symptoms go. Honestly though I do not truest myself with my own pain meds. Its been almost a year and a half and I thought I was "ok" My disease of perception is kicking my but... I have been doing some step work in the celebrate recovery workbooks. I have always done it through AA so this is exciting for me. It keeps my focus on what is truly important in my life.

Thanks soo much.
Valerie

Post Edited (mrsm123) : 9/17/2009 8:59:59 PM (GMT-6)

  VALERIE, I KNOW YOU ARE TRYING TO DO THIS ON YOUR OWN, BUT SOMETIMES YOU NEED HELP, I HAVE BEEN THERE AND IT'S A TERRIBLE FEELING..

IF YOU ARE NOT GETTING BETTER, I SUGGEST, (THE HOSPITAL). A.S.A.P..THEY WILL HELP YOU, TILL YOU CAN SEE YOUR DR.. CLONIDINE IS VERY GOOD FOR DETOXING...WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS??? JUST WANT TO KNOW....IT IS VERY HARD TO DO THIS..AND IT'S ALSO DANGEROUS......I WOULD CALL 911, IF YOU ARE STILL NOT DOING WELL....YOU CAN REALLY HURT YOUR SELF BY DOING THIS..I KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO DETOX ON YOUR OWN OR RUN OUT OF MEDS....IT'S SCARRY..I RAN OUT OF ALPRAZOLAM, (ZANAX), I HAD TO DETOX FOR A WEEK, BEFORE THEY WOULD FILL IT...SICK SO SICK.....THAT I WENT TO THE HOSPITAL FOR HELP.I.WALKED THE WALLS FOR DAYS...BEFORE I WENT IN..

LET ME KNOW HOW YOU ARE DOING???? VICKIE, PANHEADVIC.....

R.S.D. ( COMPLEX REGIONAL PAIN SYNDROME,) OVER 6 YEARS, JUST RECIEVED THE PAIN PUMP 2 WEEKS AGO...BEEN THROUGH EVERY THING....I AM STILL RECUPERATING, NOW MY NEROSURGEON SAYS I NEED A PACEMAKER, THEY ALMOST LOST ME DURING THE FIRST SURGERY.......IT WAS ROUGH...PLEASE GET BACK TO ME AND LET ME KNOW HOW YOU ARE DOING!!! THIS IS DANGEROUS...

 to whom ever, sorry about the caps being on...noonononoon,  panheadvic

Rhonda,
I am so sorry about what you went through with your PM, but that really is the exception rather than the norm. Especially since Norris is just looking to stop them on her own. You were given clonidine at the ER & that is what I recommended to Norris. Often PM's will refuse to give out additional pain pills, but it is very, very unusual for them to refuse requests for medications just to help with the withdrawal symptoms. I know that for some reason even when you told your PM you didn't want more pain meds, he still refused to see you, but that is not common -- which is why so many of us recommend talking to one's doctor as the first option when seeking treatment. The ER should always be a last resort -- good when there aren't any other options & someone is in a crisis, but especially since Norris' doctor has been providing medications up to this point, it does not at all seem unreasonable to me to ask the doc for non-narcotic withdrawal meds.

Yes, there are a few doctors out there who are just complete jerks & will not even help their patients even when the patient is not asking for more narcotics, but rather simple blood pressure medication, but that is the rare exception. Treating physicians have a patient's entire history. They have access to records, tests & additional complicating factors that can help them select the very best medication for a patient.

Norris,
I have re-read your posts & would have to agree that perhaps the best option for you may be to contact your PM & let him know what's going on. Your PM should be able to either meet with you to determine a safe way to get off the meds (whether that's a long taper, a quick taper, or cold turkey) OR he should be able to refer you to an addictions specialist who can help. From my own experience, it is very hard to taper off meds on my own & I am only dealing with dependence, not addiction. It is a brutal experience without any meds to help me. With the clonidine, it is still very hard b/c I don't sleep & feel shaky inside, but with a huge amount of willpower, I can struggle through it. With an addiction, you have an added obstacle to success. All the more reason to get whatever help you can -- withdrawal meds, a safe & healthy treatment plan, help from specialists & maybe attending AA/NA meetings for added support. It is so tough, but it is without a doubt do-able. Ask for help. Connect with others. Remember the goal.
By being honest with your PM, you can get the help you need for today & possibly even open up options for the future. Yes, there is a slim chance that you could have one of those horrible doctors who doesn't want to help anyone, but if that's the case I would encourage you to look for someone else. Having a doctor who is contributing to your addiction is worse than having no doctor at all (and I don't say that lightly). There are doctors out there who will help legitimate pain patients struggling with addiction. There are new treatments and technologies available -- pain pumps, special patches that can't be tampered with, new meds that combine opioid agonists & antagonists to prevent that "high" feeling caused by many narcotics, alternative therapies, etc., etc. You do not have to choose between living with your addiction or living with pain.
While I have not suffered from substance addiction, I have had my own struggles with compulsive thoughts & so I know how wonderful it feels to be free of that. But the first step is coming out of isolation & being honest with yourself and others about what is going on. I hope you will take that step. Know that there will always be people here who will support you. :)
I hope it doesn't seem too presumptuous of me, but I know even when I was struggling with dependence, the NA website really had a lot of wonderful materials that helped me stick with the plan my PM & I came up with for getting off my pain meds. If you're interested, the site is http://na.org/

Take care of yourself & keep us posted about how you're doing & how we can help.

peace & prayers,
Frances

That's true. However, just because withdrawal doesn't necessarily equal addiction doesn't mean that there aren't some people who do actually suffer from addiction. In this case, Valerie wrote that she had a history of addiction to alcohol & in this case she used up her supply of pain meds early due to taking 50% more than was prescribed to her.

I think we need to be careful that while we don't want to be forcing every pain patient into the addiction category, neither do we want to deny that actual addictions do exist. Addiction is partly psychological, but it is physical and social as well. It is a tough thing to conquer & anyone who can deal with that on top of chronic pain is certainly to be applauded.

Francis,

It has nothing to do with Dr.'s being jerks....it has to do with the Pain contract most of us sign.  They just can't give anything like narcotics to help...and I didn't get anything from the ER...I don't know why you think I did...especially Clonodine.

I only wanted to make sure that they didn't do anything to ruin the relationship they have with the PM...and stopping the pills on her own is worse.  I wish that none of us had to take any pain meds...I wish that we never had to take more then we are supposed to...I wish that Withdrawls didn't exist....I wish, I wish, I wish...

I hope that everything turns out for the best..

Me.