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Posted 2/1/2010 10:56 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Pete! Just checking on you to see how you are doing! Can you give us an update?

Lil Buddy,

Michael
Posted 2/2/2010 11:18 AM (GMT 0)
You OK Pete? I know you've been going through alot here lately but don't think we've forgotten you. Take care and try to keep your chin up. Sun in the face can do wonders for the body & soul.
Posted 2/2/2010 6:10 PM (GMT 0)
Pete how is your eye doing, sure hope it's healing up..
soft hugz, been thinking of you.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Pete))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Posted 2/3/2010 11:50 AM (GMT 0)
Mikey, Jag & Chart,
Thanks for thinking about me! Sorry I haven't been around lately, had some company for a couple days. My older brother and his wife came up from S.W. Fla. to see my Mom's new house. He is on SSD and been on it for around 5 years now. He's only 2 years older than me and has a boo=boo on his elbow! Poor guy! Thats all thats wrong w/ him except for the drug problem he's had for years. It's pretty sad to see him as he's usually off in a world all his own. The hardest thing is listening to him preach to me when he doesn't have a clue what I'm going through!!!!! Last time he was here, he stole some pain pills that were my wife's (I think they were percs from a dentist maybe) out of the medicine cabbenet but I didn't acuse him because I didn't have any proof and it would have caused a big stink w/ his wife and my Mom!!! Just not worth it! I made sure that everything (all the meds) were put away this time!

I never fail to get depressed after seeing him! I was heading down depression road before he even came up, now I'm even worse. My eye is much better. The doc took out some stitches this week which really helped w/ the itching! It's still sore but nothing like it was. He said it will take about another month to heal completely. I'm still on the steroid eye drops 4 times a day! Just hate them!!!

Now I have to start thinking about my ruptured accillese tenden and see if I can find a doc to help me w/ that. I'm so sick of doctors, I don't even want to do anything about my foot right now! I have soooooo much to do around here and at my other house and how can I do anything being laid up w/ a stupid foot problem if they say they will have to cut it to fix it? I think I need a shrink more than a stupid foot doctor! I haven't been doing much lately, just laying around like a big lazy oaf! I get so mad at myself! I just don't feel like doing anything> so unlike me!!! The only jobs I have been doing are for my Mom. I don't want her to know there is something wrong, it will just worry her.

Feeling like this makes everything else hurt much worse too! My neck has been giving me fits lately also as has my lower back and even worse of all, my rotted out left hip & knee! I just don't know how much longer they will last w/o getting them replaced! Sometimes I think that one or the other is just going to shatter into a million peaces and send me crashing to the ground breaking some other rotted out parts of this old broken peace of crap thats my body!

I write my sons in the Navy everyday! I tell them how I'm going to go out fishing soon and get revenge on the fish for skunking us when they were down here in the cold, but everyday there is another reason for not going!! I just keep telling them maybe later this week> maybe next?

My head is in such a bad place right now. I think about my friend Father John and all he is going through which make my problems look like squat and I'm whining about a stupid bump on my ancle!! I tell myself to call him everyday but haven't yet. I either fall asleep or watch some dumb TV show. Sorry FJ!!!! I am thinking about and praying for you!!!

Sorry everyone! I can't write about myself anymore w/o getting all worked up. The tears are starting to flow just like the good old (raelly bad) days so I'm gonna git! God I wish I could sleep through this pain!!!!!!

Love you Gize!!!

Pittyfull Pete
Posted 2/3/2010 12:19 PM (GMT 0)
Pete, I don't remember you mentioning problems with your hip & knee before. Do you have osteoarthritis in them too? Maybe your back is causing the problems in those places, I know mine does.

I hate hearing you sounding sooo depressed. Maybe it's time for an adjustment to your anti-depressants (I think you are taking them). Try to get outside to sit in the sunshine. It can do wonders for your mood. I only wish all of us Northerners could sit in the sun, that would be so sweet.

Have you gotten your SSDI appeal filed? Sounds like you have had some changes in your ability to work since you last filed.

Take care of yourself Pete. Remember we're all here rooting for you!
Posted 2/3/2010 1:23 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Jag,
Thanks for the post! I dislocated my hip and shattered the socket and pelvis bone back in 78'. Same head-on wreck that I broke my neck in> the first time! The doc told me I'd never walk w/o a limp again and would certainly have to have a new hip in 20 years or so. I had it looked at about a year ago and the doc said it was shot! He did a procedure on it where he drilled a hole through the bone to try to get blood flow to it but that I was living on borrowed time! I've had 3 surgeries on my left knee back in the 90's. After the last one, the doc told me> showed me on the video, I had a hole in the bone where the two were rubbing together because all the cartalige had been taken out. I haven't had it checked since, so I'm not sure whats going on in there now, I just know it's weak, sore all the time and fills w/ water anytime I twist or strain it> almost weekly!
All this was reported on my SSD paperwork along w/ the rest of my problem stuff but as you know, they still say I can work!
I think You are right about the antidepression meds. I've been on 150mgs of Effecsor for so long I can't even remember how long??? Last week I missed two days as I couldn't get to town to get my script filled for effecsor> Crazy withdrawl!!! I was having cold sweats, vomiting, shaking like crazy, aches & pains everywher, headache!!!!!! I din't realize how bad the w/d was on this stuff! I'll never do that again!
I think I need a shrink, a new doc, a ortho doc, a new pain doc>>> Where does it stop?? Now we are running out of $$$ to boot which doesn't help matters as so many of you know! Jeeze I remember back when I was working, $$$ wasn't a problem at all. I even would offer to help our friends here w/ $$$ more than once and gladly would have because I thought I was doing so well> Ha! It doesn't take long after loosing those big paychecks to start wondering "Why did I ever leave work?" I know why but if I stayed working we wouldn't be in this $$$ mess! I'd be crazy and in crazy pain and probably devorced but we wouldn't have $$ problems!
Sorry, I can't go on, tears are flowing pretty steady now. I'll try to write more later!
Thanks for everything!
Pete
Posted 2/3/2010 2:50 PM (GMT 0)
Pete
google anterior approach hip surgery
I had this newer one in September. If you get to the point that you must have surgery this is the one if possible. Your hip I think is worse than mine was so you may need physical therapy with it. But normally (whatever that means for people like us) therapy is not necessary. I had no therapy before or after. I walked with a walker the first week, cane the second week and by myself the third week and drove at the end of the third week. It takes a special operating table so not all hospitals do it. My doctor is training surgeons in this technique (2 surgeons from New Hampshire came to Maryland to observe my surgery) I had heard about it and googled it and found a hospital in Baltimore that did it.
At least one or 2 hospitals in every state do it. So everybody should research and get second opinions on this one before having a replacement.
Good luch Pete I am so sorry today is sad for you. We care...a lot
Posted 2/3/2010 3:35 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Pete,

I am so sorry to hear about 'when it rains it pours' issues with your health right now. I can totally commiserate!!

I have an amazing Pastoral Counselor that I see whenever I need to for that extra help in dealing with all my chronic pain and life issues. I do not have any insurance and they work on a sliding scale so I am not charged anything right now.

I'm sure it is so difficult to not be able to provide for your family the way that you are used to...that alone can take some time to mentally adjust a new way of seeing yourself. You are an amazing man and person just who you are. Even if you don't have two nickels to rub together...money does NOT make a man...

It's your character, your love for your family and your friends..that is what people respect and care about you.

I also just purchased online a light therapy box. I have been using it a week now and notice a huge difference in my mood and energy...I never fully understand why it works like it does, but hey...I am always willing to try anything to help with my pain!!

And family issues...well...we all have those...can't change 'em, so it's best to just love from afar those who are not supportive of us our cause us more stress. It's sad but a fact of life at times as they have their own issues to deal with. I have learned to surround myself with loving and caring people and weed out those who are full of anger or negative traits. It only frustrates me or saddens me too much. I still love them and pray for them but choose to not have them in my daily life.

Am also thinking of your sons and thank them for their service to our country!

Hang in there Pete...Take it one hour at a time when needed...Maybe try to find one thing on TV or online today that can make you laugh..It helps release those wonderful endorphins we need so much. Also go up to your wife and ask for a really long hug today!!!:)

Take care,
Posted 2/3/2010 4:48 PM (GMT 0)
    Hello Pete! Goodness Sakes! You are a mess with all your health problems, and I fully understand your plight there. Surley there is something that will bring you out of the mental misery! Do you cook, or grill (BBQ)? That is one of the things that I do when the world seems to be falling in around me. Do you have any hobbies that you can do without putting stress on your hurts? I have never seen you this way before, but from reading your post here, I can see why you feel they way you do. I also have a few things wrong with my body as well, but not nearly as severe as yours. All we can do is tackel them one at a time, and that is what I'm doing. My lower back surgery is coming up in around 3 weeks, and although I'm pretty scared about it, I'm really looking forward to it. We do not have any garentees in life, and I'm a thinking that mine has a chance to not heal properly, but that will be the cards that i'm delt, and I will have to adjust to it. Would it help to call you and visit with you from time to time. I have a couple of friends on line here, and we talk almost daily. It has been wonderful to visit with someone like that, and does wonders for the mental aspect of it all. I offer my help in anyway that I can to you, and know that others would do the same. Again, like I have said, you have a bunch of friends here, and we always enjoy hearing from you. So apart from your health problems, you are worth something...actually I personally have a lot of respect for you and the offer of help you have given to me. Your responces usually cover detail of what ever question I have posted, and no stone is left un turned, to the point that I have no further questions of the subject. It is so easy to say hang in there to someone, but please realize that we do sincerley mean it from the bottom of our hearts. What more can we say or do to help you, as the miles are a long way in between our hand shake. My offer to you is one of sincerity, that if you would like to talk, I will be there for you.

    Lil Buddy!

      Michael

Posted 2/3/2010 6:45 PM (GMT 0)
Keep the Faith, thanks for the hip surgery info, I'll check it out for sure. Unfortunately I have to put my hip & knee on the back burner for now. I have other fish to fry first. I'm just hoping that they last a little longer till I'm ready to take on larger surgeries like them. Right now, the list starts w/ my ankle which is getting really big & swollen, my new doc said it is a ruptured accillese tenden and I should get it fixed right away , 2nd get a good shrink as we all know> I'm crazy! 3rd a way overdue colenoscopy, 4th a sleep test for sleep apnia so I don't die in my sleep, 5th my left shoulder which has my left arm nearly useless, 6th carpol tunnel diognosed 10 years ago has my hands cramp and lose feeling every time I use them for more than a couple minutes, 7th have my neck reavaluated as I believe that the discs above and below my fusion which were already ruptured are getting much worse, 8th take a real look at lumbar back surgery that I've been saying no to and putting off for over 10 years as the pain keeps me awake all night, 9th get fitted for new arch supports for my severly flat feet, my old ones broke in half long ago, and 10th all the other stuff which could get bad and move up higher on the list at any time.
Sorry, listing all that stuff was stupid!
SnowBunny, Thanks for all your kind words and welcome to our little family! You are more than welcome here!!! Sounds like you'll fit right in!! I posted a welcome in your hello post!
Mikey, thanks for always being there! I do apreciate you and all you do for all of us. You Da Man!!! I also am gratefull for your offer to talk sometime. I would like that but sometime in the future. Right now I'm in a pretty bad place and really don't feel like talking to anyone. It's just the way I am when I get like this. I'm sure there will be a time in the near future when I'm not feeling so overwelmed when I would just love to talk to you and get to know you better!!!
Thanks again for all your support!
Your Brother & Friend,
Pete
Posted 2/3/2010 7:31 PM (GMT 0)

   Your OK Pete! It's good to know when you should and should not, at a time like this. It tells me that you have a pretty good head on your shoulders. Again, take care! Will talk to you soon.

           Michael

Posted 2/3/2010 8:57 PM (GMT 0)
It was not stupid to list the stuff you did. We want to understand your issues. Please believe that. So List and list again!
((((HUGS))))
Posted 2/3/2010 9:01 PM (GMT 0)
Pete,
I had a ruptured PB tendon in my left foot about 2-3 years ago it was red and painful and all the doc did was wrap it and told me to ice it and keep it elivated (Sp?) those where the most important things was ice and keeping off it and and keeping it up, had to be off it for 3 weeks then the physical therapy for 4 months, so try putting it up in your recliner and just put an ice bag on it and you should be better, sorry you had it ruptured..sure hope your feeling better soon and stop having things go wrong, geezee, seems like we had our warranties expire on us, when did that happen??? I want a better warranty on me... (lol)
Hang in there Pete, you got us clowns rooting for ya..(Just joking)..
(something about your posts always brings out the crazy in me, hope ya don't mind)
Lots of soft hugz
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Pete))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Posted 2/3/2010 10:15 PM (GMT 0)
Pete,
I'm not sure what to say other than I do care about how you're doing, my Italian buddy! I think finding someone to help with the depression maybe should be number 1 on the list??? Just a thought, because that can affect how you view everything else. And don't forget about having that testosterone level checked!

A good therapist can help you prioritize that long list, and bite off one thing at a time. It sure does seem like our lists grow longer and I truly believe CP takes far more of a toll on our bodies than even most doctors realize just from the chronic stress and inflammation. Let alone the effects of aging for some of us.

So get that anti-depressant checked (yes, you made need an adjustment with the effexor, or maybe a change in med... a particular anti-depressant can sometimes stop working or at the very least need a dosage increase, this is very common), and those testosterone levels, as either may be contributing to how you're feeling, and then you can make decisions about other treatments.

Big Hugs!

PaLady
Posted 2/4/2010 12:07 AM (GMT 0)
Yep, I'm back again!
Mike, thanks for understanding, I think we all work things out our own way. There's no sure fire answer that will cover all of us. You are a saint for doing all you do!
K.T.F. You don't know me very well yet! At least not like my other partners in crime here on the forum do! Don't worry though, before you know it you'll get used to my humor even if it leans twards calling myself names and belittling myself sometimes which pisses off some friends here. I don't do it on purpose, I just get really frustrated and mad at myself sometimes! You'll also learn what they call "Pulling a Pete" is here or just plain doing something dumb and hurting yourself! I'm really not a bad guy at heart> just crazy!
Yep, I know I wear off on you Chart! Thanks for cheering me up! The doc I saw who told me about my tenden said I would need surgery? I hope he was wrong and you are right!!! I have two huge bumps on my tenden, one on each side and one is a little above the other. They are very sensative to the touch or wearing shoes that hit the bumps. Also stretching them while walking hurts them> the more I walk, the more they hurt! I love your warranty explanation, how true it is!!! Thanks Chart, your an Angel!!!!
PA, I think you may be right on about seeing a shrink first but then, you usually are right! To any of our new people reading this> She is such a smart lady! One of my Gurues & Heros!!! No, not testosterone! my Urologist has me getting shots every three weeks now instead of monthly. My body is making less than ever so to keep from turning female again, it's 300cc every three weeks in alternating butt cheeks! I just got filled up w/ high test yesterday!! As usual Thanks for the great advice my little Itallian guardian Angel!! Maccaroni for everybody!!!
All for now, gotta write my boys! OH>>> My son Pete Jr. got his picture on the front page of the official Navy web site! He was shovelling debris out of a crumbled down orphanage in Hati and was covered w/ white concrete dust. I'm so proud!!! I'd tell you to go there and look at it but it was replaced today! Anyway>>>
Thanks again for all your suport and kind words! It really helps!!!!!!
Proud PaPa of two Sailors!!!>
>Pete
Posted 2/4/2010 5:03 AM (GMT 0)
Awe, Pete, thanks for the kind words. You're making me blush! blush blush And thanks for the macaroni, too! smilewinkgrin

Would have loved to see that pix of your son! He's doing great work! Tell him your guru said so! yeah

Glad the high test is all filled up, but check on your anti-depressant.

And no more pulling a Pete anytime soon! nono

Hugs,

PaLady
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