My pills came up missing!!

Hello CTN! I posted something on this on your other post, but I'm going to repeat it here and add a few comments to it. I'm so sorry you have had to deal with this, and it comes at a terrible time for you too! I had the same type of thing happen to me a while back.
First off, those of us taking meds for pain do count their pills, and we no how critical it is to stay on schedule with them, because we all know what happens if we don't.

I would say that CP Patients are probably the most pill counting people I know. If we were not in pain and we were taking meds for cholesterol problems, we probably would not keep track of them so much. I had an employee working for me, and we brought her daughter into the studio for a Senior photo shoot. While she was there, I took one of my pain meds and made a comment to her about it. Well the next morning I went to get one before going to work, and half the bottle was gone. I know so, because I had just counted them the day before.

I did not say anything to her mom, because she worked for me, and I did not have any proof either. I did however lock them up in a safe right away, and have been anal to do so every day now. Yes I did suffer for it, but I really thought that I was responsible for keeping track of them. It is your responsibility to keep track of your meds and to keep them in a safe place.

The error has already been made, so there is nothing we can do about that now. If I hear you right, you don't trust your mother at all or your brother, and quite frankly you stated that your mother did not support you after your surgery. I guess the hard question, is what is the purpose of her being there in the first place? Don't get me wrong at all here...it is not a mean stated question. I'm just looking at the facts of what you stated here.

I'm not sure what I would do. It is easy for an outsider to say hang her! But I understand your plight there. It's a tough question to address, but I do know that it would only happen once to me! Shame on me for letting it happen at all! I hesitate to say this, but is there anyway of cutting the meds in half to just get by until you get your new refills? if it is Oxycontin, do not do that al all, as it can be deadly to you.

Lets hope another member can help you here, and come up with a good suggestion. Probably the right thing to do Is to file a report. That is my gut feeling, but again it is a tough question, and the impact can last for years.


Take care CNT, and I hope you get to feeling better soon

Michael

You can file a police report that states they came up "missing" but you can't sate that your mother took them without the proof anyways. I had this happen about a year ago, where my entire bottle came up missing of percocet, adderal, and soma. It was awful. I thought they were taken from my car because I had left my purse in my car by accident but the officer told me most likely it was a relative or someone who knew me because they didn't take the whole purse. I didn't see it though so I could only file a report and check that I wanted to prosecute if said person was found.

I had a birghday party at my house the day before and left my purse in thecar that night...late, then realized it after I took my son to school and wanted to take my medicine right after I got home because I wanted to lay down. So, I have a drug addict sister who is now in pison, she was at my house. and sitting near my purse, but I didn't see it so I could not file a report against her. I could have listed her as a person of interest but I didn't. Luckily my dr understood completely, I had to wait. to see him at regular scheduled appointment.

Wow.. It seems like it's happened to more than a few people. We had just gotten our locking cabinet 2 weeks ago, because we were worried this could happen. I was worried about this with my Mom prior because she kept asking. I had actually hidden them in a drawer that unless you know how to open it, it's hard to open. Well since that time, we go the cabinet and mounted it high on the wall. We have a 3 year old that I worry about. I've had a few incidences where I've dropped my medicine and didn't realize it. I've found pills in my recliner and behind it. My daughter just found a pill the other day near my dresser. I had broken one in half and I my husband grabbed it up.. well it turned out that I had dropped more than just the one. I had a feeling because where I saw it fall, it wasn't near. Thankfully my daughter found it and laid it next to my bedside. She is very aware of my medicine and knows it is not safe and that she should NEVER put it in her mouth. But my God I can not express how upset and scared I was after that. I felt like such a terrible mother. But I know that I literally looked high and low for it. I even got down on the ground, when I know I shouldn't have because I just felt that it was still missing. I am so grateful that I taught her about the medicine and that it was not good for her. If I hadn't done that, who knows what could have happened. I don't even want to think about it.

So the purpose of the cabinet was more than just hiding my medicine. It was protection. I know I should have locked my cabinet that day, but I had rushed out of the house for a procedure to be done. I was having problems urinating so I saw a urologist to have a scope done. Took longer than expected.

As far as my Mom goes... I have no other family here. I had actually arranged my sis-n-law to come in after surgery, but they moved my surgery up a week, which then made me have to rely on my Mom. My husband had to work and actually took alot of time off to help me.. but he's the only employee in the state here, so he can't take a leave to help me. I did not want my Mom to be a part of my after-care at all for fear she would disappoint me like she did. She actually called my husband the morning after my surgery and asked if he could come home, mind you I was 15-20 miles away at the hospital, my husband stayed overnight.. she asked if he could come home so she could go get her mail and go to the bank. She was babysitting my 3 year old. She has a car seat in her car. There was NO reason at all for her to ask him to come home. But it was exactly what I was hoping would not happen. Because I couldn't lift anything or do anything really.. I had to rely on someone. My brother and I have no relationship and I have no friends here that are reliable or truly any real friends here, period. We moved away from our hometown a few years ago and sadly, have yet to truly make any decent friends. So I was left with no choice really. And my sis-n-law came in a week after surgery and while she helped, it wasn't needed as much then as it would have been a week earlier. It sucks they moved it up a week early on me.

As for breaking my medicine - yep, that's what I'm doing. I was taking 5 Oxycodone 30 mg IR's a day and now I'm taking 2.5 - 3 a day. I've been fortunate to not go through withdrawals from the lower dose. As long as I have it in my system, I'm ok.

It's really difficult as to what to decide to do. My doctor knows my brother and has dealt with him first hand. He knows that he has a problem. My brother canceled his contract with him suddenly back in November because he had run out of medicine and knew that he would get a month's supply by doing it. Which in turn, he illegally filled the script because insurance does not allow a person to fill that kind of medicine before it's due. He paid cash for Oxycontin. He was on 3 80mg OC's a day.. and was taking 4 instead. How it did not kill him is beyond me. On top of that, he was crushing them and breaking through them to get the high immediately. By canceling his contract with the doctor, the doctor wrote up his records for the new doctor and probably told them what he suspected what an addiction problem. The new doctor cut my brothers dose in half to 40mg. When all this happened, I told my Mom that he should take that month supply and start to wean himself down because there was no way a new doctor was going to increase his dose or keep doing what he wanted them to do. He then dropped the new doctor and moved onto another who wanted to put him into rehab or something. I've heard so many stories that I find hard to believe. I was told now he was put on the Duragesic patch along with Methadone - is that even safe to do?? I don't know anymore. But regardless, he wasn't getting his fix and the begging got out of hand. My Mom claims she told him that I was put on something else that he could not take. But I don't believe that because he would not have asked otherwise. He even went to a handicap/wheelchair bound friend of mine and begged him for medicine. So you can see where I feel that something fishy happened.

Cat - I didn't take your response as being snotty.. :) don't worry. I understood completely. It's terrible when you can't trust your own family.

In the middle of all this happening, I got a message from my Aunt asking if I had calmed down.. because apparently my Mom told her I flipped on her. It made me so mad. I told her everything that happened because I knew if I didn't.. she's automatically assume I did something wrong. What makes me so mad is that my Mom will not tell anyone the truth. She's embarrassed that she has a drug addict for a son. She tells her sister that I've got problems and won't help. That I kicked her out for no good reason.

I didn't want to have to tell her about what happened.. but I needed her to understand that I was taken advantage of. It seems like when people hear that you're on pain medicine, they automatically pass judgment on you. You must be a drug addict if you take pain pills every day. You must be abusing them. If I was an addict or anything similar to my brother - I'd be sitting in the ER right now hoping to get a shot of Morphine. My brother is well known at all the local hospitals. He doctor shops and visits all the different pharmacies so that he can fill his meds illegally. Like I said before, he paid cash for that one script which was well over $500 for him. I know for a fact he was dealing with a drug dealer here buying drugs for $10 a piece. He made someone very rich.

I'm bitter.. I'm upset.. I'm tired of my family destroying my life. And I'm done. I literally have no family anymore. My Mom & brother were it. My Dad passed away 3.5 years ago.

I have to think a bit more about what I'm going to say to my PM Dr. My husband is tired of hearing about it.. as I'm talking about it alot with him just trying to decide what the right thing to do it.

I'm in a ton of pain - I had a steroid injection done this afternoon and within 5 mins I was unable to walk. I don't know why, but my butt cheek and leg began hurting terribly. I called the surgeon's office - he's out of town til next week. I called my PM's office - he can't see me til Monday, but at least they know about my pain and the problems that have been happening. So when I go in there with no medicine, I hope he will understand why. My primary doctor could not obviously give me anything for pain and said that she didn't know what to say about this problem other than it must be my back. She said that I'll just have to go back to the drawing board with my back and find out the problem with those doctors.

I'm hoping my PM is understanding and if I tell him about the medicine disappearing.. I hope he believes me and does not force me to file a police report. I realize I may not have to list any names, but I just don't want to have to deal with this. I have so much going on, so much stress. I'm in the middle of filing for disability on top of all this and need to get the forms done ASAP. I've had no time, energy or patience to deal with it all. And my 3 year old is being difficult! UGH! :)

I didn't know about the chat tonight - can you tell me more? Like when it is... etc. I'll try to log into it!

O and I had been getting lortab's for migraine's before my trouble's began and my med cabinet was in the kitchen. Well hubby has a friend who will tell you he has a problem. One day he walked into my house and didn't say hi or anything, he went straight to the med cabinet. I tripped...laughed but tripped. He ttok my last one once, and I never forgave him. He would usually ask, but at the time 30 would last me 6 months, after the day he walked straight to the med cabinet we hid our meds. Now I want to be caeful because we have some teens and ****s around and I don't want to contribute to an accidental overdose. I would never forgive myself.

CNT! You seem like your right on top of everything, and a responsible mother and daughter. As I follow your story about dropping the meds on the floor...I see myself in it completely. Keep up the good work, and we just have to learn from this and make the changes to our lives so that is doesn't happen again.

I applaud your efforts to do the right thing, so keep up the good work there. The same happened to me, and I'm sure many others here as well. So your not the first, and won't be the last. It was so nice to visit with you, and I'm so glad that you shared your story here, so that others here can learn from it. Take care, and I hope you get to feeling better very soon. Your a good person, so don't let anyone in your family tell you otherwise. Hang in there! :)

Michael

Hey CNT, I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. I'm not so sure I would say anything to your doc unless they do a pill count at your appointment. Or, unless you have a fantastic relationship with him. Some docs may feel that if your meds are being stolen it is a liability for them and may stop prescribing. Only you know your doc and how he will take this.

I can certainly understand not wanting to file a report against your mother. I persoanlly would do what I had to to make it until your next refill, just like you are cutting your pills in half. If you haven't already, I would buy a floor safe that only you have the combo for. This way I know my meds are safe from kids and if someone wanted to take them.

I would also let your mother know how hard this was for you and how much you had to suffer since you didn't have the proper dose of your meds and then make sure she could never get to them again. 

It is up to you if you want to tell your doctor, but I think it is a lesson learned. You have to keep them locked up no matter what.

I had a girl that I was suspecting stealing my pills at work. She was taking my norco and adderall. I know that I didn't take them. So from them on, I kept what I needed in my pocket. She was going into my purse. I dont' know how in the heck she found them, my purse is a mess. But I guess that when you are an addict, you know where to look. This happened a few times, I kept wondering, did I take them, but I was sure that I didn't. I had no reason to. But I like to keep extra meds in my purse incase we go somewhere and I have forgotten to take them.

Keep them under lock and key. Do not trust your mother. It is sad that she would steal from you. But like they say, we can't pick our relatives. Does she even know that it is illegal for you to give meds to your brother? I think this is a real shame, but you know what you have to do now.

I hope that you can make it until you see your doctor. We are all thinking of you.

Hugs, Karen

One more thing. I so agree with Boxerlover!! The first time I lost my Xanax to my daughter was bad, the second time my doctor told me that it is my responsibility! 1st time shame on you, 2nd time shame on me...something like that. What my therapist told me was that I didn't have any boundaries. Then one day I was watching Dirty Dancing and Johnny says to Baby, "This is my dance space, that is yours; you stay in your space and I'll stay in mine". Ding, Ding!! It was like a lightbulb going off! I finally understood and didn't feel bad at all about calling the police though it is quiet embarrassing. They really can check finger prints. Your mother's prints shouldn't be on any of your bottles. Good luck girl, this is a hard one.
Cat Hmmm...there is another Cat and my real name is Cat so, it's habit! I guess to avoid confusion I go ahead and write out

Catz4 since I have 4 Cats!

I am the same way, I stay clear of thieves and liars. I have no time in my life for them. And usually they go hand in hand.

I'm not so sure it has anything to do with hanging around thiefs and liars(or at least noe that I know of!!) but I think it is responsible to keep these kinds of meds locked up, especially if you have kids and the kids friends are in the house.  You never know and why risk someone else getting ahold of your meds.  This way I do not have to worry about it.

I am glad things went well with the dr. I am not telling you by any means what to do about your family only you can make that decision.

At this point in your life some tough love is the best thing to use when it comes to any of your family members or even friends. By that, what I mean is you stop enabling them. Keep your mother out of your house where there is not even a remote chance of her finding any medications of yours of any kind. By allowing her to come around and keeping in contact with her you are enabling her. She is old enough to take care of herself and be responsible for herself.

You have your family to consider, why let her come around and keep your family in a turmoil Its not worth it. Yo have a responsibility to yourself, your child and your husband no one else. Take care of them. Stop all of this tension in your home, your 3 yr old picks up on everything, they know more than you realize. Stop allowing her to cause grief in your family, this affects all of you, not just you.

Why bother answering this email, you don't have to you know. By answering it you are inviting more verbal abuse and trouble You need to stop this game playing. Why not ignore her emails and just delete them.

Use your time to take care of you and get yourself on the road to healing properly from your surgery.

So sorry life is hitting you this hard,

First, accept the things you can't change.  Your brother is hooked and that means all of his common sense and values have gone out the window.  It's not your fault, and there's nothing you can do to change it so accept it - you are to a point where you'll need to make some changes though.

Keep your medications locked up at all times.  Even though it's your home, it's clear that there are people around you such as your mother who don't care about the suffering you'll go through when she takes medications that don't belong to her for someone else.  This is morally wrong, so it appears there's more than one issue going on here.  Your mother is selfish plain and simple. 

Because we need our pain medication, the responsibility always rests in our lap.  One time when traveling through the Phoenix Airport I had over 60 OxyContin stole while I was going through security.  It was the very security guys who took it from me when they separated me from my carry on bag.  I learned a very hard lesson that day.  Last November I never once let them out of my sight, in fact I kept them in a pocket on me through each one of the security check points and explained why.  They couldn't have been nicer even though I was going in and out of Mexico through customs and all.  While I was in Mexico I used a safe in my room and only took out a days worth of meds at a time and it worked perfectly.  You'll need to do something like this in your home I'm sorry to say.

As far as having people around you can't trust.  Since I started my rather high dosages of the hard stuff I've had to stop allowing a couple people I use to call friends over because I knew they would do the same thing your mother does to you and that your brother whenever he can't get enough of whatever he wants.  This is not being selfish, this is taking care of yourself so you can take care of others including your husband who loves you.  Don't feel guilty about putting down some hard to live with ground rules.  They have taken your trust and damaged it deeply.  Now they'll have to earn it back the hard way.  Cover your backside from here on - now promise me - from now on.

You don't deserve this from people who say they love you, so don't allow the situation to happen in the first place.

If you've had a long relationship with you doctor and have built the necessary trust, he'll give you more "this time" but never again.  If you're new to harder medications, then this could hurt your relationship, so I'd be careful.  With so many people like your brother abusing drugs, doctors are being harder than ever on patients who don't take the necessary care to take care of their own pain management.

I'm just calling it straight, but trust me - with heart.  Take care, Bob.