Posted 10/14/2010 5:38 PM (GMT 0)
I guess my biggest issue is I don't truly believe I have "headaches". ( oh how i wish I could find the finite definition for headache. I have shooting pains in my ear, I have throbbing pain in the supra trochea of my right eye, I have a building pressure in the back of my head, I have pounding throughout my entire head, I have a feeling of "bobbleheadedness" ( do you know what I mean?, I have throbbing pain behind my right eye, I have a shooting pain directly on the top of my head, and on and on? Is this a headache?
I had "headaches" from stress or if the kids are bugging me or if things are going wrong and that I can resolve with an asprin or tylenol but this? For the first 3 years of this problem ( its been 10) I took no narcotics. Tried with a neurologist and we tried all the " neuro" meds( topomax, depakote, keppra, tegretol etc) but none of them even came close to giving any relief. When it would get so intense I would go to the ER and a shot of dilauded would help. Thats why when the first neuro ran out of ideas, and the headache man at Rush ran out of ideas, I was referred to the pain clinic.
I don't know, I think with hearing another doctor being negative , I start to feel "wrong", do you understand what I mean? As though I am taking the easy way out or "doing it wrong" or some feeling I can't quite put my finger on.
Perhaps I would have felt better if the headache clinic said "hey, come down, we'll talk, get a history, get to know your symptoms and do a consultation" I might have had a more favorable inclination to go. This way ..? I don't know. I don't want to go in feeling like I've been doing it wrong, I feel bad enough to be in constant pain, not be able to work, not feeling I contribute to anything...Its just more of a downer.....
This whole thing has just really "triggered some old buttons".
anyway...
I wish pain free days for you all...I truly do.
Cat (ahoula)