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So, not only knocked to the floor, scalded by hot coffee by a walmart employee.

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Posted 1/27/2011 7:46 AM (GMT 0)
I was going to shop in walmart last night, I bumped into an emPloyee in her late 40's, early 50's. She actually told me " watch where you're going you ****ing idiot." I said, "excuse me? You work here and you're talkin to me like tha? I'm going to report you to your manager. I began to walk away then realized I didn't know her name. So I trend around quickly and walked back to see her tag, which DARLENE was then hiding inside her jacket. I said, "show me your name." she refused to I tried to grab her tag. She began tusselong with me trying to stop me from fondif her name because she knew it was going to be her job. She then took her coffee and trew it in my face, scalding my face and inner ear. The police on the scene claimed that by me trying to grab her tag to find out who she was to report her to the manager, that I could have been arrested for assault! What kind of planet are we living on anymore?
Posted 1/27/2011 8:58 AM (GMT 0)
Actually test it's true, you could have been arrested. By grabbing the woman first you made her feel threatened. The "fight or flight" feeling kicked in and she was only responding to your threatening manner. She might have been on break, which is probably why her tag was hidden. Of course she shouldn't have spoken to you like that, but your response, in my opinion was way over the top.

Sorry if this offends you, but I am just trying to help.
Posted 1/27/2011 9:08 AM (GMT 0)
No, she wasn't on break. I didn't return in a threatening manner. I walked away and realized i didn't know WHO I was reporting. I demanded her name to report her. The name tag wasnt "unobservable because she was On break." she was HIDING IT FROM ME SEEING IT, holding it insIDE her jacket so I could not observe her name to report her, because she knew she would be fired for treating a customer that way. I asked her four times to identify herself, with her covering her name to so i couldnt see it. Nobody takes off their name tags just because they are on break, in hospitals, staples, walmart, anywhere.
Posted 1/27/2011 9:11 AM (GMT 0)
I grabbed her tag, not her. It wasn't "fight or flight" it was " oh crap I'm gonna lose my job" let me guess, younsynpathize with her throwing scalding coffee in my face too so I couldn't identify her to her employer, right?
Posted 1/27/2011 9:36 AM (GMT 0)
Let me reiterate, she cussed me out for accidentally knocking into her while walking down an aisle. How often do you bump into people? Upon asking her to repeat what she said to me, she reiterated "watch where you're going you ****ing ******." so how exactly does someone report the appalling behavior of someone they cant identify to their supervisor?
Posted 1/27/2011 11:10 AM (GMT 0)
You shouldn't have tried to grab her tag from her. Sorry if you don't think I should say that, but that is what I think. Even if you did not touch her, it is still threatening to have someone try to grab something from you. I would have reacted as well--probably not by throwing hot coffee in your face, but by screaming and hitting you with my cane or something like that.

It was wrong that she cursed at you, but you can't try to grab things from people that you don't know. It's just not okay.


You could have gone to management and given a description of her. They do have cameras there, so they may have been able to identify her using those.


I wonder if other HW members agree with me.
Posted 1/27/2011 12:04 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry, Test, but I agree with Scarred and Flower. Regardless of if she was on break or working,  you had no right to put your hands anywhere near her. Reaching for her tag still counts. No, she should not have spoken to you that way. No, she shouldnt have thrown her coffee on you. What if this were your daughter, niece, wife or mother and someone was reaching for her in any way when clearly upset? Would you want her to do nothing and allow this man to touch her? Probably not.

Her fight or flight response did kick in and that is why she threw coffee on you. She felt threatened, and in the same position as she, so would I.

I am sorry that it isn't what you want to hear, but you are wrong. She was wrong for cursing, but you were wrong for reaching for her.

No one has any right to put their hands on another person, whether reaching for the person or a name tag on a shirt or jacket.  

 

Posted 1/27/2011 1:43 PM (GMT 0)
*********************************************************** 

waiver: don't trust my advice

 

Post Edited By Moderator (Dani Henson) : 1/27/2011 9:19:37 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 1/27/2011 1:44 PM (GMT 0)
on a serious note, i would go back to the store and demand to talk to the manger. and if the manager will not listen, i would start to raise your voice until they do. if all else fails i'm sure you could file a lawsuit, walmart has plenty of money to spare for victims of their disgruntled employees.
Posted 1/27/2011 4:08 PM (GMT 0)
 

Dear Test,

 

    One thing I like the most about living in the "information age" is that there are cameras everywhere. Not only do you not need her name.... all you have to do next time is tell the floor manager what she said and did. Give a description of the employee or take the manager over to the employee to point her out. The rest they can easily view from the extensive video surveillance. Even just by knowing location in the store and time incident occured. I know, I know, most folks hate that there are video cameras everywhere, but they do come in handy.

 

     Next time, take a deep breath and remember the video cameras.

 

*hugg*
  dani

Posted 1/27/2011 4:47 PM (GMT 0)
No Test I do not agree with her cursing you out. Nor do I agree with her throwing hot coffee on you. However, think about what you would do in the same position. If someone went to grab for anything on me I would have kicked and screamed. I am sorry you don't agree with me, but I have had people taunt me my whole life for being who I am. I have heard every name in the books spoken to me just because people don't like the way I look.

Plus I have had people follow me out of stores when I've picked up my meds and follow me almost to my house. I know what the fight or flight response is and clearly she was threatened by you trying to grab her tag. Dani is right she shouldn't have cursed at you but, there are cameras all over the place in Wal-Mart and you should have taken a breath and gone to the manager.


Hugss
Posted 1/27/2011 4:48 PM (GMT 0)

Monty's Mom said...
Sorry, Test, but I agree with Scarred and Flower. Regardless of if she was on break or working, you had no right to put your hands anywhere near her. Reaching for her tag still counts. No, she should not have spoken to you that way. No, she shouldnt have thrown her coffee on you. What if this were your daughter, niece, wife or mother and someone was reaching for her in any way when clearly upset? Would you want her to do nothing and allow this man to touch her? Probably not.
Her fight or flight response did kick in and that is why she threw coffee on you. She felt threatened, and in the same position as she, so would I.

I am sorry that it isn't what you want to hear, but you are wrong. She was wrong for cursing, but you were wrong for reaching for her.



No one has any right to put their hands on another person, whether reaching for the person or a name tag on a shirt or jacket.

I was trying to read her badge. To report her peacefully. I asked four times for her identity. I understand that maybe I shouldn't ha e tried to grab her badge, but I did NOT aak her threateningly. What was "threatening" was me reporting her to her manager. The woman dolled hot coffee on me, then calledcme a ****ing idiot. I do t know about you all, bit most people I know would be incensed over an emoyee treatIng them like that.
Posted 1/27/2011 5:14 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry, but as wrong as what the employee said to you, you were even more wrong to become physically confrontational and in doing so your complaint, in the eyes of management, of this employee being extremely rude to you in the first place lost at least half of it's weight, if not more.

I am telling you this based on "insider" information. You see I worked for Wal Mart for several years and worked my way up to the equivalent of an assistant manager so I am quite familiar with that company's guidelines and policies.
Posted 1/27/2011 5:22 PM (GMT 0)
Test, the person was in the wrong for cursing you no doubt, and throwing hot coffee on you too. However, that being said I have to agree with the others you should have kept your hands to yourself and not tried to grab for the name tag. That action resulted in the coffee being thrown on you-most likely just out of reflex or instinct. Please know we are not ganging up on you here, just stating our opinions only.

I really hate it the whole thing happened.
Posted 1/27/2011 6:36 PM (GMT 0)
I understand that where you all are coming from. I just...I was trying to resolve it and even just get an apology out of her. Instead I get a scalding drink in my ear. I don't want her to lose her job really, butbi am going to pursue walmart fir liabilty for the burns. A scalding cup o Joe isn't exactly a glass of ice water. I feel like I'm at my wits end with everything. My fiancee has zero understanding of what chronic pain does physically or mentally, in fact she accused me of joining this support network to
Meet women! I just feel like I'm ready for my life to be over. I can't take any more stress.
Posted 1/27/2011 6:38 PM (GMT 0)
I'm 25 and I feel like I have nothing left to hope for.
Posted 1/27/2011 7:35 PM (GMT 0)
What one person feels is threatening or rude, another person will feel it is fine. Personal perception is that, personal.


No one has any right to put their hands on another person. Reaching for her name tag, even if just to read it, was wrong. I agree with Dani, use what technology gives you. You do not agree with me. If you don't want to hear things you may not agree with, then a public forum is probably not the place to air this type of issue.

Posted 1/27/2011 7:39 PM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry that you are going through so much. It is so difficult for others to understand what it's like to be in pain all of the time. Could your fiancee maybe go with you to one of your doctor's appointments so that the doctor can explain what it's like?

In my opinion, suing someone is very stressful. You really need to be ready to be scrutinized from many different angles.

Were you burned badly? Did you go to the doctors or to the ER? If not, then maybe you should so that you can get some kind of medication (like a topical) to put on your burns.

Hugs,

Flower
Posted 1/27/2011 7:41 PM (GMT 0)
Test;

I know what you are feeling, really I do. I have been through every emotion that I could possibly go through in the past ten years. It is sad that we have to go through all of this. I have been angry with the system for failing me, blamed myself for going to work as a Certified Nurse Aide, begged for a resolution to my pain and even gone as far as seeking lawyers to sue someone....anyone that I felt was the cause of my pain.

Unfortunately, we as CP patients are not looked upon with great tenderness. I think that if my husband would not have gone through the same pain that I feel every day just days after I hurt my back that he too would not understand what I was feeling. Are you on an anti depressent for the depression that goes with CP? Have you thought about seeing someone like a psychologist?


I am not saying your crazy...by all means I don't even know what normal is anymore. All I am saying is that maybe it is a good idea to seek out some mental counseling to help you sort through this mess. I know it has helped me a great deal. It's noting to be ashamed of, I kinda laughed when my doctor suggested I go to one. But it has been a great help in helping me figure out what I can do to keep the "Mental Demons" from making me nuts.

Anyway, I do hope you get some resolve out of this. Have a great day.

Hugsss
Posted 1/27/2011 7:46 PM (GMT 0)
Testosterone,
Have you thought about getting some help? This really does not seem like a very healthy situation, and you seem like things are like shattered glass right now. I am not just asking for you, but for the people around you.

Can you reimagine this incident in this way (she just cussed you out, and this is what you said): My dear, I am so very sorry I accidently bumped you and possibly caused you pain. I would appreciate you refraining from causing me pain, by not speaking to me an abusive manner. Please have a nice day. (and you walk away knowing you have treated her with dignity and defended your own dignity without demeaning her)

(You just never what a person is going thru, because what if your accidental bump cause her stiches to be reopened, or you bumped her where her husband beat her last night. I mean think about the life situation this woman must be in to be working at walmart as a shelving person at her age.)

Frankly, this is something that should not have esculated into what it did.
I am not saying that her reaction was ok, in fact it was a bit abusive, but neither was your reaction ok.

Please seriously consider/think about getting professional help for the mental aspects of pain, I can see how much mental and physical pain you are in, and it is my hope that you can use this chronic pain situation for your own and humanities growth, and that is something worth living for. I think you will find it benefical in your relationships as well.

I am very concerned about you.

Please take care,
Navy
Posted 1/27/2011 8:25 PM (GMT 0)
I was burned very badly. I have blistering in my ear drum. I have been ginger to counseling as well. I just started at a new place, I had been goIng to a place for 6 months that gave me no benefits whatsoever, just handed out Ativan (worthless anxiety med) and seroquel like they had stock in it. There are tears streaming down my face right now, because this is the first time I've felt understood by someone outside the doctors that are treating me in almost a year. My (I think soon to be ex) girlfriend hasn't been supportive at all I feel throughout the entire ordeal. I remember the day I lost the ability to walk, her and my mother both callig me a baby and cursing when they would stomp by and walk into my feet because I couldn't walk and needed help with everything. I had to call 911 to take me to the hospital because my own mother "wasn't gonna do it till she was ready and if I had a prOblem with it too bad."
Posted 1/27/2011 8:43 PM (GMT 0)
Oh Test! I am so sorry this has happened to you. No one deserves to be treated like that and especially by your own mom! But I do know how you feel hun. My mom is just as abusive when it comes to my pain. My sister recently hurt her back and she acted like hers was so much worse then mine cause she has two girls to take care of and has to go to work. Like I am the bad guy here! I am lucky she says....cause at least I have medications to fall back on. Like I want to be on these meds? Not even on my best day could she deal with my life!

But hey, you know what I did......? I ignore the remarks and just keep my life and my pain to myself. That was I can't get hurt ya know? I hate the fact that my own sister yells at me that her pain is so much worse then mine. I hate the fact that my own mother is more sympthatic to my baby sister's pain then to mine. But, life goes on. I deal with it the best I can. I know that we have a tendency to carry our hearts on our sleeves and I still do that from time to time. Don't let this control your life Test, you have to find a balance.

Gentle Hugssss
Posted 1/27/2011 9:16 PM (GMT 0)
I've been trying so hard for so long. I feel like no matter whose with me I'm only doing it on my own.
Posted 1/27/2011 9:18 PM (GMT 0)
And oh the "friends" that want tO hang out when they find out you've got pain meds.
Posted 1/27/2011 9:47 PM (GMT 0)
I remember a couple weeks ago, going to my car, (handicapped parking obviously) this wretch of a woman was waiting by my car and starts yelling at me "what are you doing parked in handicapped?" I said, "you see the tag, don't you?" she goes, "you walk fine you fraud." then I asked her if in her obviously log years of graduate level education she had ever encountered pain medicine....she had no reply and I drove off...idk why I can't let go of those types of days anymore. Last year I was so happy. All the time. Sometimes to the point of it irritating people because I was always so chipper. It's like these days I look for reasons NOT to leave the house now. Even to go to therapy.
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