Do any of you "old timers" feel "squeezed out" lately?

Perhaps I'm bring up a subject that is unacceptable and, if I am, please delete the entire post.

I feel something going on here that has been bothering me for a while.  I am generally a very honest person, but I tend to overreact sometimes have a quick reaction time.  I have not posted much for a while to see if I could calm my feelings and to gauge myself to see if the problem was just me.  Well, now it's time to ask some others.  Do any of the "old timers" feel "squeezed out" lately?  I know I feel a change in the "air" here and I wondered if others feel it too.  It is as if the "old timers" aren't being seen or appreciated for their perspectives like they once were.  I miss all of the people who were here for so long.  I miss their perspectives and their independant opinions.  I miss their healthy debates and their personal contributions. 

At one time, I could come to HW at any time of the day or night and find "friends" who understood and supported each other.  Oh, don't get me wrong....there a still a few left who provide support and care, but it seems to me (just my opinion) that many of the veteran members are being "cast" away.  Perhaps I am wrong and will just fade away with the others who have gone.  I still lurk, but I don't post much now and I miss the "conversation" and the "understanding" of the group.  CP is difficult even without added stressors.

No matter the rocks thrown at me by making this post, I want many of you to know that you have made a difference in my life.  You have given me courage when I needed it, you have given me a reason to get up when the pain was too bad, and you have given me a lifeline that helped me in some of my worst times.  I honestly appreciate that!

If you don't like the length of my posts....don't read them!!! But there is no need to bump up something on lengthy posts.  I'll post whatever length I feel like posting and you are never required to read or respond to anything.  Just block me or better yet, wait it out.  Nobody can maintain constant domination of a group of people if they are not encouraged.  

I'm a lurker and a newbee, too. I've read many of the posts here. I have such a limited amount of time to respond, but I try to understand the strength ya'll have to endure. My pains are so minor compared to what you guys are going through, that I feel unable to help anyone. But I do listen and take the "sages" advice.

((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))

Thank you for your replies.  I did not mean to imply that "new" was bad in any way and I sincerely appolgize if I have offended anyone on that regard.  I am not condemning anyone or anything....just asking how others feel or if they are having some of the same feelings I am.  As mentioned, it was not long ago that I was "new" and even before that I was posting in an old account (which I noted when re-joining after loosing my ID/password) as prayingforrealrelief.  That made me "new" kind of twice and people were very open and kind.  New blood is what keeps forums going and what helps keep things on an even footing.

Again, I am very sorry if I offended any new posters.  I enjoy reading the posts and the replies and I do hope people are feeling much better and are not posting for that reason alone.  That would be wonderful!!  I am simply asking others how they feel right now. 

 

Good answer Dani!

SE

RM, I understand what you are saying and when I use the term veteran member, I am a veteran or old time member only because I have been here so many years, lol. That is also how I refer to a lot of the members that have been here at HW for any length of time. Any newbie that sticks around will be a veteran member too before long, lol. There is nothing special with being either of these, veteran or a newbie just a term used here at the forum many times over the years and it just never had any special meaning of any kind.

We have lost quite a few of the the old timers or veteran members over the past year and a half or so, where they have gone to I don't know. I can only assume they have other things to take up their time, became bored with the forum, joined other forums or perhaps their needs have changed. Also, I have heard people even say they became too involved and felt they were spending too much time dwelling on CP and they just did not feel it was healthy for them. I know we have some that lurk and will log in and only post when something catches their eye in a post. I have to wonder if much of this comes with the territory of a public forum too. When I first joined HW I was on the crohns forum and the same thing happened there turn over of members over time.

Stay warm and safe everyone our snow and ice is beginning to melt.

I have not been here a long time as I just found the forum rather recently. But I do come here every morning in my routine and read the messages that are new or at the top that have new responses. I do not post very often as I don't on any message board. I do have a lot of problems in my life right now and reading of others and the responses does help me to deal with what I go through on a daily basis.

I do like reading the veterans posts as they are more upbeat than others. I only post when something catches my eye and I believe I actually have knowledge that may help, LOL!

I am only 42 and have only been dealing with CP for 6 1/4 years. A lot less than some of you so I have a lot to learn.

Please don't feel pushed out at all - please continue to post as we all do appreciate it!!

Trudy

RM,

I get what you are saying... and I think conversation is good. I think many people replied w/ good food for thought.

Having been here for a few years, this is pretty consistent w/ what goes on here.... there are definitely times when the board goes through quiet periods, changes and so forth. The good thing is that it usually settles into a groove and things are the same for awhile. I have no doubt it will happen again. I haven't been here in a few months (see my other post)....so I'm not sure what's gone on.... but, again, I've seen this happen many, many times.

Don't go anywhere! I've missed you and others!

--Tina

RM,
I also get what you are saying and I agree , this board is very different than the one that I joined what seems like such a short time ago.

The people who were here , for the most part are no longer, the moderation team that we knew  has added new members and the tone of the board has gone through several different shifts .

While new members have come and gone,  many of the former long time members were kind of lost in the shuffle and at times over run with the new comers or driven away.

 Some of the discussions that took place and the sometimes hard line approach taken toward some negative behaviors is different now than it used to be.

I don't post nearly as much as I once did, for many reasons , in part due to my own physical limitations, and due in large part to the feel of the board. I usually only respond to threads where I really feel that I can help somehow, other than that, I read and stay quiet.

At times , it appears very clique-ish here, and almost to huggy. I don't mean to make it sound negative, because for obviously more of the members than not, it appears to be how the forum seems to want it these days, but there is a tradeoff in that the content and the information that was found here, is not here as much anymore, but rather, it's more like facebook , rather than a forum that deals with the disease called chronic pain.

The board used to be full of more content, ie links to things that addressed specific problems or programs  I think is what you mean.

I suppose what I have to say isn't going to win me any friends, now, but I tend to think like you that this place has changed and not necessarily for the better.

So, the answer to your question is yes, I consider myself an "old timer", maybe not in length of time registered compared to some of the others who were here then but definately in length of time lurking and posting and I know that others have left for the very reasons that you asked about and yes, I have felt squeezed out because I am not part of the clique.

I have thought about fading away myself, and probably will very soon. I just don't feel comfortable the way that I once did .

 It took courage to say what you did and to ask the hard questions that you asked. Stones should not be thrown but rather the moderators should ask themselves if all of the huggy stuff belongs on a chronic pain forum that used to be known for its information and resources, as well as the knowledge of it's participants. 

 Do any of the "old timers" feel "squeezed out" lately?  I know I feel a change in the "air" here and I wondered if others feel it too.  It is as if the "old timers" aren't being seen or appreciated for their perspectives like they once were.  I miss all of the people who were here for so long.  I miss their perspectives and their independant opinions.  I miss their healthy debates and their personal contributions. 

 

At one time, I could come to HW at any time of the day or night and find "friends" who understood and supported each other.  Oh, don't get me wrong....there a still a few left who provide support and care, but it seems to me (just my opinion) that many of the veteran members are being "cast" away.  Perhaps I am wrong and will just fade away with the others who have gone.  I still lurk, but I don't post much now and I miss the "conversation" and the "understanding" of the group.  CP is difficult even without added stressors.

 

RM....I too understand where you are coming from... I was gone for a while and now I'm back...so if you ever need me I'm around...and you can always email me...

Rhonda

Everyone has such great answers and insight and I too think this is a topic worth discussing.

I see the forum somewhat as I see each of our lives. Things change and always will. Many years ago I was interested in different activities than I am now. I met a lot of great people and had a wonderful time. But...are they wondering why I'm not hanging around those events any more? Are you or any of us doing the same things we were doing 2, 10 or 25 years ago? Was anyone a member of Healing Well 15 years ago? No...because there was no HW at that time. ;-)

We all change as do any groups, families or communities. One person I listened to for years before his passing was Leo Buscaglia. I loved his quote on change.. "Change is the end result of all true learning." He also said something about change means growth and if you're not growing then you must be dead! So change means we're alive so learn to enjoy and welcome change. I think what you and the rest of us are seeing is normal change.

But let me qualify that statement. Remember back in junior high or high school? There were awful cliques, mostly among the girls...lol There were what we called the 'social or sosh group' who we considered snobs. Then there were the 'hoods' who we actually saw smoke a cigarette once behind Mr. Nelsons barn! (gasp) And even though the term hadn't been coined yet, there were the nerds! Heaven help you if you were a nerd!! There often was a tiny group who clung together and mostly these were kids from very poor families. Their clothes were 'sad' to say the least, hair hadn't been washed in a week and no one wanted to sit near them for fear of catching something. But there were also a handful of just weird kids, like me, who hung out with most everyone. I have no idea why but it's how I was. I still don't like cliques. But like it or not people gravitate towards each other for different reasons. It's just life! And this is how I see Healing Well too. We're no different than the people who life on your block, in your city or who you went to high school with. We're just a bit older and hopefully a bit wiser....but not always.

One thing I do want to comment on is the use of the words "Veteran", "New", "Elite" that you see by people's names. Those are directly related to how many posts they have made. I know people on Healing Well who will post a tiny comment to every topic they can find just to have their number of "Total Posts" bigger than someone else. <shaking head> Pretty silly, huh?

And for me...about one a year I hit 'burn out' and need a break. That's why you haven't seen me much for the past month or so. I hit the bottom of my 'hole' and am finally bouncing back. Again, no different than in our daily lives.

So, if you still feel outed by others please try to consider it their problem because I can assure you that it's not you! You are well loved and respected around here...OK?? <hands on hips> OK, time for Mother Chutzie's lecture to end...LMBO

Hugs to all,
Chut

Thank you for your reply, Sandi. I was really confused about the original post, because I didn't know the history of the board. Honestly, it did sort of hurt my feelings because I did think it was directed at the newer members of the forum, and I could not figure out what any of us had done to offend others. I think I will just fade into the background now. This issue is obviously way before my time and I do not have anthing to contribute here.

Wishing you all less pain and many blessings,
V

First, I'd like to say that I'm sorry I seemed to be "gone" after making such a post, but I've been in the hospital since Saturday evening.  I just made it home.  They seemed to think I was having a heart attack, but thankfully I was not.  We're still not sure what was going on and I've had every test in the book.  Follow-up will be key and I'll be seeing the heart Dr, the gastro and Lord knows who else.

To address the many postings made.  I first want to again say that the intent of this thread was not to diminish the newer people posting.  I do believe that the opinions of all matter very much.  I guess perhaps certain terms such as newbie or veteran may offend some, but how else can I address the issue?  It's not a name calling...just a question. 

To be completely honest, I really enjoy many new and old members, but that wasn't the point.  I miss the discussions, not cliques.  I've never been into cliques and I don't intend to start now.  Yes, some of our members have developed close relationships.  That is a positive thing and the word members is just that....a person who has elected to be a member of this board.  

With each person who enters and each person who leaves, we see a different perspective.  Ebb and flow is good.  I don't do facebook, twitter and other social networking sites because I don't like them.  I do like HW.  To each his/her own. 

Although I would still like to see everyone's perspective on this topic, I do not feel the need to continually appoligize for asking a question or offending anyone. I do not plan to leave.  I never said I was leaving. I only asked if others were feeling squeezed out.  Perhaps I could have chosen a more politically correct term, but I did not.  PC is not my best attribute.  If I take a break and lurk for a while then I am no different from many others.  If I started something that will bring life back here and improve communication, then I am happy.  This place is like a second home to me and has been for some time.  I like my home to be happy, encouraging, communicative, informative and open for all discussions.  I also very much like the idea of a topic for the week.

Thanks to all who read and didn't get an attitude about a simple question.  Thanks also to those who found the courage to agree or dissagree.  If everybody is too scared to bring up something, then open communication is not going on.  I hope we have open communication on this and all other topics.

Blessings and pain free days to all!

RM,

I'm truly sorry to read that you were in the hospital but am glad that it wasn't a heart attack . I hope that the doctors will be able to track down and treat whatever it was that landed you there so that you don't have to go through that again.

I've had chest pains that hit me early in the morning, and shot up my jaw, arm and around my ribs and I know how frightening they can be. Mine was never diagnosed despite two cardiac caths and chemical stress tests.

I agree with you about the social networking sites, I have a facebook but don't use it much and in fact, have to have my daughters help me with it.  I use it mostly to talk with family.

I am glad that you are back. Take care of yourself and rest, as I'm sure that the doctors recommended .

Sandi