Sarah,
Sorry you are struggling to find the "right" medication for you.
I've used the fentanyl patch in the past. While fentanyl is the best pain reliever for me - I can't use it in patch form. I have very fair skin and body temperature regulation issues - two things that usually don't fare well w/ the patch. I, too, used the tegaderm to try to hold it in place... and had to change the patch at the 48 hour mark. But I still had issues. Anyhow, I'm now on oral fentanyl (Actiq) in addition to my other pain meds. It works well for the horrendous breakthrough pain I get.
Re: nerve pain - for me, the fentanyl helps my pain in general - but it really does nothing for my nerve pain (I have neuropathy in my hands, arms, feet as well as chronic sciatic nerve pain). My nerve pain med works best for all that - but I hear you in that you don't seem to be able to use many of those.
Re: the butran patches - I think there are one or two people on here right now that have some experience w/ the butran patch. You can also go to the search section (upper right hand corner) and put in "butran patches" or "norspan" - and read what others here have said in the patch. I don't have experience w/ that medication (one of the few I've not been on!).
I really hope that you can find something that works for you! Take good care -- Tina