Hi Mindy, nini53, Kathy here, and I certainly can understand how you feel, I was embarrassed in the beginning when things started to fall apart. You learn to adjust to things, you learn to do things differently, my best friend and I have what we call stradigies, in other words what might have worked for us prior to our disabilities, wont work for us now, so we find different ways to do the things we need to get done.
I know when I became completely disabled, when I could no longer work outside the home, it was so depressing for me. I had always worked outside the home. I was and still am a single parent, 12 years ago, when I could not work outside the home anymore my girls were still young. My oldest girl Dani, graduated in 2000, I had become unable to work in winter 1998. By the end of 1999, we had been evicted from our home which they had been living in not all but most of there lives. Dani graduated and was already working, both my girls worked from the time they were 14-15, being a single parent, as they grew older, they realized if they wanted a pair of 80 dollar shoes with a Nike logo or any other for that matter, mom just didnt make that kind of money.
My girls both to this day have good work ethics, partly due to the fact that as I said, if they wanted some of the "nicer" things in life, they had to work themselves to get them. When they were very young (birth to about 6-7) there entire wardrobes came from thrift stores. I could clothe them for each season for 20 dollars tops at the thrift store. Of course as they got older, that didnt work, I did get help from my parents from time to time, but they were the working poor themselves.
I seem to be going on and telling my life story. So sorry, I guess I am trying to say, this to will pass. Every day I look at this cp forum, and I realize I could be so much worse off. I try to be very grateful for the good health of my girls and my grandchildren. I am also grateful that there is a cp forum. I am grateful that for right now I can still walk, although aided with a cane, so what, I can walk. You really have to try to stay with the positive as much as you can. I know how hard this can be, but thats what I try to do.
So again I am sorry to have gone on and on about my family, but they are a great source of strength for me. I am very grateful for them.
Please take care of yourself, some days will be better than others, take care and good luck.