Todays "Talk-Abvout" (formerly known at the Koffee Klatch)

I've had so many requests to restart the Koffee Klatch or something similar and since summer is closing down it's time to get going.

I've revamped the KK to more of a topic format instead of a question. Some days, like today, there may be a question but more often it will be a topic given and everyone who cares to can put in their 2 cents...or 3 wit inflation. These are not going to be 'hot topics' for debate but more of what your experience is in certain areas. Doing a topic every day of the week is taxing and hard to keep up sometimes so these will come along on a regular basis but not each day. Most likely there will be a new topic 3-4 times each week. Feel free to post more than once, especially is there's a discussion going and you care to add your thoughts.

So, for today we're going to start on a positive note:

What have you learned or what even has happened since you were 'diagnosed' that is a positive in your life? I'm not trying to be a Pollyanna about this since none of us would choose a life of chronic pain but has your journey led to something that is good or maybe you saw some act of kindness along the way. What's your take on this topic?

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The obvious answer here might be to have met a lot of wonderful people here in the forum. But since I just covered that one you will have to think of another. One thing I have discovered in my family is my oldest grandson's depth of compassion. He can get down-right protective of me at times. He's 20, a college student and lives with us so he and I spend a fair amount of time together. When he's home and hubby is at work grandson is the one who helps and keeps an eye on me. I love seeing that side of my grandchildren.

Chutz

I'm going to focus on the 'me' positives, because I need to cheer myself up tonight... in a lot of ways this has made me a better person I think than the one I would have been otherwise. I'm a lot more patient, I have a lot more empathy for the struggles that other people go through. Although I feel terribly squirmy and embarrassed about it, people often tell me that they find my determination and courage to go on with a cheerful face despite everything really inspiring - and that makes me feel good too.

Thanks Chutz - it's so important to remind ourselves that sometimes our dark clouds do have silver linings :)

Laura

My positive is that I can look at people differently now. I try and see through the surface and now know that looks may be deceiving. That whole "But you don't look sick" statement really hits home now.

I can now take the time to talk with someone and hear their story and not assume anything.

I have to admit that I have more time with my daughter and have been able to send her to a better school since I have been disabled. Before, I worked long hours at a very high stress job (as did my husband). Now, since I am at home, I have been able to put her in a Christian school that really focuses on learning. Although they do not have the equipment that the public school has (particularly in the computer area), they give more one on one and have much more discipline. The children are taught manners, grammar, punctuation, geography, music, art and many other disciplines in addition to the core subjects. When she enters high school, she will begin to do community service as part of the program and will benefit from that as well. If nothing else, she should learn more about others by helping them. She'll also be able to include the program as an added bonus when applying for college. Were it not for my injury/issues, then she would still be in the local public school and I would still be working long hours at a job I was very unhappy doing.

What I learned was not to concentrate on what I cant do, but rather what I can do.  The journey to being a cp patient comes in many forms, some born with, some accidents ets.  But however we got here, once we got here many of us had to learn how to live life differently, this was not always easy, but I learned that there were other ways to be useful to my children, my grandchildren, and most importantly myself.

I to have much more compassion then I had before I got here.  I learned I still have many things to be grateful for, and be willing to put myself out there.

The positives that I have gotten run along the lines of RetiredMom's. I get to be at home with my sons. Before the pain became unbearable, I worked at a high stress job doing the work of the manager without any extra pay or acknowledgment. I lived in an abusive relationship for years. My sons learned that women were to work a full-time job out of the house, then come home and work another full-time job cleaning, cooking, and caring for the men of the house who did little to nothing in the caring for home and hearth department. Now, they know we are a unit, a family team that has to work together to get things accomplished. Teaching them to cook, bake, wash clothes, and become a helped to their future spouses instead of a person expecting to be served. I would never have planned to marry again, never learned to depend on my fiance and friends, and just tread water through life struggling to make it by myself. Now I have my family close, my fiance, great friends, time for church and mild volunteering behind the scenes.
The positive thing for just myself, not my family is my crocheting. I never had much time for it before, now I have a productive activity even when I am down and out.

Thank you Chutz for starting this again on such a positive note!