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Mysti, a word with you please

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Chronic Pain
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Posted 10/20/2011 1:34 PM (GMT 0)
I just wanted to thank you for the words of encouragement you and everyone else gave me.  I feel so much better now that I posted that and realized how many people have the same worries as I have.  I have been very blessed with the lack of side effects from my meds.

Back when this nightmare started I was given xanax for anxiety(sp), the xanax did not blend well with my pain meds at all.  When I was taking them, I was going into nods (which is what people do on heroin) I would stop in mid sentence and my head would be almost in my lap.  My children got so angry with me, they were on me 24-7 to not take it.  I would argue and tell them I needed it and they should try to understand better.  The truth was I had become completely addicted to the xanax.  When I ran out, when I layed on the bed my body would jump in the air, I had no control over it.  Finally I was given an ultimatum from my girls, stop or I would not be able to watch my grandchildren and they would have very little contact with me.

I stopped, I admitted to being addicted to them, and I promised to quit.  That was over 6 years ago.  I have not gone near them and never will again.  I was given valium by my pm who I have been with for almost 3 years, 5mg when needed.  I get 30 5mg every 2 months.  I am not sure why, but I do not have any problems with the valium.  Its totally different, I have conversations without nodding off, I can get the help I need from them, like not having muscle spasums(sp).

I asked my pm what the difference was, she told me that a 1mg xanax was more powerful than a 10mg valium.  I believe her as I am having no bad reactions when I take them.  I also do not take them every day.  I do exactly as the bottle says.

I am sorry, I have rambled on again, when what I wanted to say was I think we have much in common, I enjoy your posts also, I have learned so much from this forum, I plead temporary insanity to thinking I did not belong.  I have never felt so understood.

Ok, now that I have written a book, I will sign off.  Thanks again, to you and everyone else, without your and everyones input, I dont know where I would be.

Take care, hope you are feeling good today,

Kat

Posted 10/21/2011 5:32 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Kathy,

You are so welcome...my words came directly from my heart as I felt I can connect with you, and therefore I really care about you.  Lol sorry if that sounds kinda sappy, but I do feel we have much in common, as well.  I wish there was a way we could communicate privately...not that I don't trust this site.  I do very much...but there are just some things I don't feel completely comfortable disclosing in an open forum right now.  I'm not sure if that's even allowed here, but I sometimes feel I need someone to talk to more privately...someone that I trust and feel a common bond.

Anyway, about your issues with Xanax.  Wow...I had my own issues, and MAJOR, with Xanax, too.  I can't go near that stuff now.  This was about 12 years ago.  Yes, I was most certainly addicted to it, too.  That drug just has that power over you...or at least for some of us.  My sister has had major issues with it as well.  She is a chronic pain patient (way worse than me) with anxiety issues and was on large doses of Xanax until just recently.  She also takes opiates...Dilaudid and fentanyl patches...so you are right, the two just don't mix.  I realize many people do fine on them, but not me...and certainly not my sister.  She went through a similar situation such as you described.  Her PM switched her from Xanax to Klonopin, which she seems to be doing good on.  She is still majorly sedated and I really think over-medicated.  Well anyway, I stopped taking it 12 years ago when I had a major "event".  Well I will go ahead and say it...I overdosed.  My family had no idea I was even still taking it.  But anyway, maybe I can talk about that later.  I just wanted to say, boy, do I know what you are talking about.  I don't take any type of anxiety med right now and I do fine without them.

Hey don't you worry about rambling with me.  I feel as though I ramble also.  I'm always apologizing for it.  I'm glad you are feeling better about belonging to this forum.  To be honest, I often feel as though I don't belong either.  When I read the others' posts, it just seems their pain issues are far worse than my own.  And I still feel like a newbie here.  I'm not sure how long it takes to feel like a *regular* lol.  Ok, well now I've done my share of rambling, so I will go, but thank you for YOUR kind words and I do hope you are feeling ok tonight.

Hugs,

Mysti

 

Posted 10/21/2011 10:58 AM (GMT 0)
Mysti, thanks for your response, I feel the same way.  I checked to see if you had an e-mail address, but it says its unavailable.  I do have an e-mail address, I feel the same way you do.  I would love to have a private conversation with you but not on this forum.  Its not that I dont trust anyone, but I dont.  There I said it, I would like to be able to talk with you via e-mail, or even over the phone, the problem is I am not giving my phone number out over the forum, and I am not sure it would even be allowed.

If you have e-mail address, let me know and I will talk to you that way.  I also as I said would have no problem giving you my cell phone number, I just dont know how to get it to you.  If you can think of a way, and want to talk away from the forum, let me know.

Just let me make something clear, for the most part, I have no problem saying what I want on the forum, but some things I just would rather not have some people know some personal things that have been a part of my life.  98.8 percent of the people on this forum I trust completely, its just those few, and its very few that I am just not comfortable with disclosing some personal info.

Of course you know you are a person I feel 100% comfortable with.  So if you want, lets see if we an find a way to communicate with each other.  As I said, my email address is available on my profile, so If you can please email me and then we can go on from there.

Ok, well take care and hope to hear from you soon.

Kat

Posted 10/21/2011 2:59 PM (GMT 0)
Glad you feel the same way, Kathy. I know what you mean about being 98.8% comfortable with the people on this forum. But, this is the internet and you never know who might be lurking out there. I guess my main thing is that somehow somebody I know will see what I am posting and I consider my being a member here and disclosing my personal details VERY private. I'm not even revealing my real name here, out of that fear. I feel completely safe with you, though, and I welcome the chance to get to communicate more privately with you.

So I got your email address and will be sending you an email shortly. Hoping you have started out your morning with a low pain day...

Hugs,

Mysti
Posted 10/21/2011 6:47 PM (GMT 0)
Ok girl, I am so glad you got my email address, now we can talk about everybody, lol, please everybody I am just kidding I promise.  I am glad you got my email though, there are things I would like to tell you about myself that I am not so comfortable posting on the forum.  As I said before, 98.9% no worries, but its those one percent (is that right, my math has never been good).

Ok, looking forward to talking to you, I know its not actually talking, but I dont know any other way to say it, wait, maybe communicating, no thats a long word.

Ok girl, I am off before I start babbling on and on.

Later girl,

Kat

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