"Too young for this pain"-- *PLEASE HELP! *Share your story and suggestions!!

Hello! Thank you for clicking on my post. I hope you'll take the time to read my story and share your own stories and advice.

I have been dealing with chronic pain and mental health problems for a years now. I'm sixteen now and my pain and depression and anxiety started getting really bad around three years ago.

I did display some symptoms when I was a child though. Sometimes the back of my calves would hurt so bad that I couldn't sleep. I would lay in bed and cry and grab my legs and wish that they would stop hurting. This occurred since I was a child but everyone said it was "growing pains". I've also always been anxious around people. When I was in elementary school, I used to lay in bed the night before school and obsess over silly things. I would worry that my homework wasn't in my bag or that my teacher would call on me a lot to answer questions. I would panic while waiting for the bus in the morning. Once I got to school, my face would turn so red and I felt like I was going to die just because I had to say "here" during attendance. While walking through the hallways, I felt like everyone was staring at me.

My more serious pains started three years ago when I was thirteen. It was a constant ache in my shoulders and neck at first. I also started getting migraines around this time. I visited neurologists and my primary care doctor and specialists but nothing helped. I also began having problems with my mental health later that year. My pain kept getting worse and so did my depression and anxiety. I started turning to negative coping skills, such as self injury, to deal with it. I was hospitalized in a psychiatric hospital for three days when at the end of that year because I was planning on killing myself. I was also hospitalized three times last year: once in a medical hospital for migraines and twice in a psychiatric hospital- once for self harm and thoughts of suicide and another for an attempt including a large consumption of alcohol and pills. I missed a lot of school that year.

My pain kept getting worse and worse to the point where it is unbearable now. I lay in bed and sob with a heating pack on. I take my "rescue meds" but they don't really help. I've missed this whole week of school. I am starting to get scared that I'm going to do something to hurt myself because I don't know how long I can take this pain. I don't want to live like this. I can't keep going on feeling this way. It is physically impossible for me to do lots of daily tasks. My pain is a ten out of ten and it's all over! My toes and fingers feel like they're cramping, my ankles and wrists ache, the back of my calves always burn, my neck and shoulders hurt so bad, my back aches, and I still get migraines all the time. All of my doctors lately (my therapist, my psychiatrist, and my pain doctor) have said "hang in there". How am I supposed to hang in there?

I've tried physical therapy, therapy, I see a psychiatrist, neurologist, rheumatologist, and a pain doctor. I've received injections, pain meds, advice on coping skills to use. I try to journal, draw, write, exercise, do some deep breathing and imagery, distract myself, pray, listen to music, look up suggestions online, and talk to people, but NOTHING is helping this pain. It's unbearable. I can't do this anymore.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I literally just sit around and cry all day. This pain is unbearable. I can not live my life. How can I go on? I am close to overdosing again and just ending the pain. Please help.

Please share your stories and advice on anything related to this. I would love to hear stories from people who are going through something similar to what I am and I would also love to get some support and advice.

Thank you. Have a great night!

--I forgot to talk about my diagnosis! Doctors have thought that I have RND, or amplified pain syndrome, fibromyalgia, or dystonia (The DRD gene. It runs in my family). I need something to help me get through this. I'm starting to think about just ending this pain. Please help.

Post Edited (♥♫ ώïττÿ εṃεɾαlḋ ♫♥) : 11/10/2011 4:38:10 PM (GMT-7)

Thanks for replying! That's funny that you mentioned that clinic. I was evaluated there 2 years ago. There were issues with transportation and they would not let me stay inpatient, so that didn't work out.
I do love the doctors at Children's Hospital in Lawrenceville. They are starting to make there own pain clinic instead of sharing space on the same day surgery floor. Dr. Stough is especially great. :)
Thanks again for posting. <3

Dear Emerald

Welcome and very sorry for your pain...it is especially sad for me to read of young people with this pain. I leda full life for 50years before diagnosis of chronic pain, so it is easier to accept but still sux.

I don't really have any suggestions exceptany idea of hurting yourself, you need to call psychiatrist asap..it is an emergency!!

Please hang tough and post here when it gets too bad..we care, we really do

Take good care
Maggie

Thank you all for posting and caring! It means a lot to me that you took time out of your day to try to improve mine!!

i am young also. pain has no age

The thing that helps me the most is to learn as much as possible about my disease and focus on vitamin supplements to help my body be its strongest. You're not alone, being in pain causes depression. That's why the doc's say to hang in there, if they had more time, they would say more. I read RND is curable ... so stay strong, someday it will get better. The patience and inner strength you will get from this experience will help you throughout your life. Here's two websites to give you more hope. And please reach out to someone when you're feeling suicidal or on the edge of self-harm, call somebody! The other websites list Pittsburgh's crisis lines. Don't be embarrassed to call, I've been there before and later on, glad I reached out.
Take care and try to do one nice thing for yourself every day, Laura


http://childhoodrnd.org
https://www.inspire.com/groups/rare-disease/discussion/rnd-total-body-pain-and-headaches/

http://pittsburgh.about.com/od/health/tp/Pittsburgh-Crisis-Intervention.htm
http://www.wpic.pitt.edu/research/adhd/crisisservices.htm

Pittsburgh Crisis and Suicide Hotline 412-820-4357 or
1-800-SUICIDE (Calls answered 24-hours/day, 7 days/week)

Dear Emerald, we haven't heard from you in a bit. I hope you are ok. Can you come and post for us. We do care. Take it slowly, and lean on those who care about you sweetie.

Hope to hear from you soon

Suzane

Hi there,

I myself am young as well.
I'm not as young as you; I'm 20.
However, I've been experiencing pain since I was younger as well.
What meds are you on for pain?
Maybe they could be adjusted to provide more relief.

Please send us a msg here on this forum to let us know that you are indeed alright.

I have been looking for another doctor and trying to get through to my doctor for over 2 years about the stabbing pain in my shoulder blades that sometimes both burning causes muscle spasms in the middle of my back where I can't move. This started after a lifting injury at work. I was unable to take more than the 3 days off that I was approved and I work 2 jobs and am barely able to pull through just enough to function at work. I have tried ice, heat, massage, light relief, over the counter pain meds, herbal products, and Flexeril from the hospital. It helped me to where I could do more besides barely make it through. My doctor won't continue the regimen and no other doctor will see me, and it is affecting my ability to provide basic care to my clients or my pets, the conditions of my house went way downhill, I had to give up all of my hobbies because I can 't handle how painful they are now, and when I' m not working, I don't get out of bed, and pray that the bed rest will get me ready for the week ahead, but it never does. In Medical-rights.com they talk about the importance that doctors give prescription medications to help control the pain, but it's really important drugs for people...?