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New to the forum, question about other people asking for your medication.

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Posted 7/16/2012 5:54 AM (GMT 0)
Hi, everyone...

I'm a 35 year old single mom to a Type 1 diabetic. My official diagnoses are Fibro, arthritis (undetermined type), Grave's disease, my suspected diagnosis is Lupus or a similar autoimmune disorder. I was just diagnosed with scoliosis, probably as a result of the arthritis in my spine. As a result, I'm currently using a 25mcg Fentanyl patch as well as 1-2 Norco every four hours as needed for pain.

I have a family member who is constantly asking me for pain meds. Even if it was legal to do so, I wouldn't do it because I have a limited number of pain pills every month, and I NEED every last one of them to have any quality of life at all. I've asked him not to keep asking, tried to explain that they aren't something I use for fun, and that if he really is having a pain issue, he needs to take it up with his doctor.

Does anyone else have this problem? How do you handle it?
Posted 7/16/2012 1:36 PM (GMT 0)
First, if he knows your on pain meds do get a lock box and secure your meds from this person, second, ask him point blank: why do you want to know and thn give this personthe name of your doctor and the doctors phone number. Let this family member know in certain clear understanding that your doctor relationship and medicines are your own problems and then suggest that he seek out counseling. In the future don't talk about your pain or your medicins around this person.
Others will be by with better responses for you, so pay attention, and do lock up your medicines, better to keep them safe.
Many well wishes and please know we do care
Posted 7/16/2012 1:41 PM (GMT 0)
Good morning and welcome to the forum. Glad you found us but sorry you have to be here. One thing we understand here is dealing with CP and all of the lovely issues associated with it.

Just so you know we all at some point have had either a friend or a family member try to get medication from us for one reason or another. Good for you for refusing to share, some see no harm in it but like you say you need them and its illegal to hand them out.

I have flat out told a friend no and also I suggest you get a lock box that no one can get into to get to your meds. We have had discussions here before of family & friends stealing our meds that is why we suggest locking them up. Sad but true.

I am short on time here have a drs appt but I wanted to say hi and welcome aboard.....Susie
Posted 7/16/2012 2:51 PM (GMT 0)
When my doctor started prescribing oxycodone for my pain my sil found out and he had a tooth abscess that weekend when a dentist would have cost a fortune and I said ti him when he came and asked me just for a few to get him through the weekend. Go to the hospital and they have an emergency dentist on call and if it is done in the hospital they have lots of pain meds available. My medications are for me and I have since had to change their location and when I take out my days meds I put them into a different bottle and he will not find them.....
Posted 7/17/2012 2:05 AM (GMT 0)
I agree with everyone. Lock them up. And, don't tell anyone what you are taking unless they need to know-and need to know is pretty much limited to you and your doctors.
Posted 7/17/2012 5:22 AM (GMT 0)
Sounds like you already know the correct answer here. It would be against the law for you to give them to anyone, and it would be against the law for this person to take them. Since he is so persistent, I would make a point of hiding my meds in case he is bent on getting them. Wouldn't let him know when you are due for re-fills either. Like you, I can't afford to lose even a single pill, it makes that much difference to me. Not long ago, I accidently dropped a Loratab in the toilet that I was holding in my hand, it left me short one pill that day, won't make that mistake twice. Good luck to you, and welcome here.

david in sc
Posted 7/17/2012 5:43 AM (GMT 0)
LauraQofU I want to Welcome you to Healing Well Chronic Pain Forum, I also want to congratulate you for your response to your family member! You did the right thing, it is to bad that family members or friends or anybody would even ask if they could have any of a persons meds! It is wrong! They are putting you in a very uncomfortable position, not only because it is illegal to give anybody else your medications, but like you mentioned you need those meds to control your pain! Doesn't that person care about you or any person on medications and their needs? That is a rhetorical question! Anyway you definitely did the right thing! I am glad you found this site, I am sorry that you are having pain, but this is definitely the place to come, for support, and just to be able to talk with others that do understand what it is like to live with chronic pain! The folks here can empathize with you, as we do understand! Also it is a good place to come and vent your frustrations about your chronic pain, as you will aways find a compassionate ear that will listen, you are not alone with your pain when you are here on this forum!

 

I do hope that you stick around and be come an active member of our family here! I wish you well!

 

White Beard

Posted 7/17/2012 5:49 AM (GMT 0)
As w/ everyone else.... only few people know the medications I'm on....

If it's someone that already knows you have these meds... I'd let them know that their continual asking is making you feel really uncomfortable... and, like you said, that you need every pill for your pain issues (this is not even mentioning the legal and ethical issues here).

As David said, too, I'd make sure the person doesn't know where you keep your meds or when your refills are.

Good luck to you. --Tina
Posted 7/17/2012 5:53 AM (GMT 0)
BTW, welcome to HealingWell. yeah
Posted 7/17/2012 2:48 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there....Want to also welcome you to the boards..

I would just lay it on the line with this person that if they ask you again...you are going to have to cut back on even seeing/speaking to them anymore. The answer has been no and will always be no.

You have to be firm...

And as others have mentioned...do not mention your treatment or medications to anyone else. Only one person who is your "in case of emergency" should know about your medications for both the safety factor as well as this very situation...

I do you hope you come back to share more and join our community...
Posted 7/17/2012 2:55 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Laura,

I've had a cpl of strange things w/ ppl asking for my 'meds'. Yrs back I suffered w/ migraine headaches, all I used for them were 2 Advils and a Pepsi. I had to drop off my car at the shop once when I was starting w/ one of my headaches. I got a call later that day from my mechanic. I thought he was going to tell me the car was ready. He asked me if I had any pain meds I could share w/ him, as he was having a terrible time w/ his back. I was shocked! I told him I didn't take any meds, just Advil. It wasn't the answer he expected, I guess. I got my car back the next day, I never took it back there again.

A cpl of yrs ago, I had a terrible time w/ anxiety attacks. I landed in the hospital once, bc I thought I was having a stroke. My pcp rx Xanax. I filled the rx but was determined I wasn't going to rely on meds. I needed to get this under control myself. I took 1 tablet to see what reaction I had to it (I have many meds that have caused reactions) just in case I needed the med. The rest of the rx sits in its bottle. My sister was aware of my rx and assumed I was taking them on reg basis. She had a rx for Xanax from her dr, but used her rx before the month was out. She started carrying on and getting really upset bc she had no med to take care of her anxiety. She kept saying 'I don't know how I'm going to deal w/ this'. I offered to take her to the ER, she didn't want to go, she wanted my meds. I refused. She was NOT happy.

My DH and I have certain meds we must take, I keep them out of sight. When others will be at our house, I lock them up. Family & friends know our medical conditions, but I don't discuss meds w/ them.

It's sad when you have to worry about ppl asking to take your meds, but it's better to be safe than sorry. And 'NO' is the right answer.

Welcome to the forum.

God bless.  Alice.

Posted 7/17/2012 10:53 PM (GMT 0)
it is never ending. i have set a policy with myself and i'm sorry but i cannot help you. these people for the most part do not care if your lying in bed suffering because they wanted a buzz.
Posted 7/18/2012 8:29 AM (GMT 0)
I can certainly understand where OP is coming from and empathize. Our friends/family know we have these chronic conditions..... we get monthly appts with our PM and additionally we often at some point get procedures like epidurals and RFA done, or we see a physical therapist, massage therapist, ect ect ect. We post on facebook for those really difficult days about how our pain is affecting our lives. They realize that these medications improve our lives and reduce the pain.....and they believe that if we have these life modifications with appointments and procedures, the pain must be significant so the medication must be strong.

They might come to us thinking we will understand because we live in pain daily. No doubt with have empathy for our friends because we don't want to see them suffer. That can make saying no difficult. However, I have some recommendations to state should you find yourself in a difficult situation of a friend in pain and knowing you cannot help them.....aside from the natural advice of helping them find a doctor or taking them to same day care, ect.

#1. Some medications are not controlled substances, so they don't have the same legal penalty stigmas....medications like Cymbalta, Tramadol, Cyclobenzaprine, Neurontin, Mobic, ect. Remember that every person is different in chemistry so we all react to the same medications slightly or significantly different. This could mean giving a friend a 3 or 4 non-controlled cyclobenzaprine tabs could cause an allergic reaction. The side effects could strongly sedate them and could affect their ability to drive. If we give them medication, we can be held responsibile if they get in an accident or have an allergic reaction, and we will never forgive ourselves. Is it worth the risk?

I'll be honest...a while back ago, I gave someone a lidocaine patch (which lidocaine pain gels are available OTC.....but a much lower stregnth, the patch is prescription stregnth, its 10x as potent). It wasn't till later that I realized it could have been a big deal because lidocaine at that dosing can cause heart arythmias. Bottom-line, I made a poor cloudy decision and put my friend at risk. What if something would have happened? I would have never forgiven myself.

#2. We know a friend actually has a chronic pain issue and ran out of medication early. Asside from the legal issues, if we provide them medication, it further's their excuse to run out early. We could be helping a friend fuel a developing addiction. If we give them a couple tablets to seek them through, we could also be contributing to the under treatment of pain (if their doctor isn't prescribing enough/potency and they fill the gap through extra unperscribed medications, we could be preventing them from contronting their doctor about increasing their dose or giving them something more potent if they are having unresolved pain.

#3. If they are in pain and we provide them with a few tabs of medication and run ourselves short, when we are in dire pain, we could end up blaming them for the pain and it could hurt our friendship with that person.

I wanted to go outside the legal reasons because for a close friend, legalities might not be enough because the condition of the human heart is to help the suffering person. However, if we recognize that our actions could complicate and harm THEIR situation, then I think it helps in being able to say no.

Thanks for listening ;)

 

Posted 7/20/2012 3:32 AM (GMT 0)
Sliding in from the fibro board to say a few words and share an experience.

In the past, I was not at all careful about my meds. I didn't pay attention to who was around when I pulled a bottle from my purse and took a pill or if I had bottles on the kitchen counter and someone came over. For me, those days are LONG gone.
Two years ago, a lady I considered to be my best friend (was engaged to my cousin, had known her for 15 years) stole my pain medication from my purse when I was at her house having our children play together. Long story short, pill bottle was found by police in her trash can *empty of course* with her fingerprints all over it. Even with charges against her and the evidence collected by the police my doctor said "tough" and refused to replace my medication. I went 17 days without my pain medication because of my own carelessness or as I call it, my unthinking and trusting. Before this, she had asked several times for pills, claiming a migraine or other pain, I always had an excuse and never gave her any. BTW- she served 2 months in county jail and will be on probation til 2015 for stealing my meds. :)
I know it's hard when you see a friend suffering (if they have legit pain) but in the end, it's you that will suffer by loaning a few pills out. You will come up short and have to suffer without your meds. If a person has legit pain, it's easy to go to the doctor and get some pain meds of their own.

I carry a tiny pill box with me. It holds a total of 4 of my pain pills. I figure if I should loose it or it gets taken, I'm still SOL, but at least it's not a bottle of 120 pills floating around out there1 :) The rest are in a safe which only myself and my husband have the code for. If I'm in public or at a social gathering, I excuse myself to the ladies room or outdoors if I need to take a pill. I used to not care and take one, but now I'm very guarded. In Illinois, if I were to get searched by police and found with my pill box (without the original pill bottle) all I'd have to do would be to produce the bottle or get my doctor to say that yes, that's something I've been rx'ed. It would be a hassle, but much less of a hassle than loosing all my pills again. :)

Also.... recently in the news, an uncle gave his nephew a dose of methadone (uncle had an rx for it) it didn't agree with the nephew's system and he died. Uncle is in prison now for manslaughter. You just never know how your meds will mix with someone else's body, and you don't know what they have already taken.

My advise would be to say that you've gotten off of your pain meds. Telling a lie is bad, but at least it will get them off your back- so to speak! Tell them you're not taking them anymore.
Posted 7/20/2012 3:47 AM (GMT 0)
In hiding and locking up medicine, I have gone the route of not using the bathroom to store my meds. I hide them, out of site, in my locked bedroom. If I'm going to have a houseful and can't keep an eye on if someone tried to break in my bedroom, I put the medication in a box, in my car, in the garage, with the alarm on. I feel saver that way.

One thing I have had trouble with is the bottle of pain meds that I don't use anymore. As it worked so well on my pain, I just can't seem to make myself throw it away. Like a security blanket. But I don't use it, so it just sits there. It's just a guilt trip all around.

Also I have other meds that I have been asked for.
My Cymbalta, since it is expensive, when people run out and cant afford the refill I have been asked to share. Especially when I use the same dose they do.
My ambien, sleep medicine, I have been asked to share when OTC meds just aren't working for people. My husband, who works nights, has even "snitched" from the bottle. He'll tell me as I'm semi-awake and he crawls into bed. Since I have the "option" of 1-1 1/2 pills each night he doesn't see it as a big deal. Then I have to take less than I would normally at the end of the month, to make it stretch, and he wonders why I can't control my bipolar sometimes. Lack of good sleep is a major trigger for me, hense the sleep meds.
If I have increased pain I have to increase the sleep med dose. If I don't have enough the lack of sleep mixed with the pain the next day can put me over the edge.

Another thing I do to prevent theft is that I've educated my kids about what the meds are for and that they are some of the meds that people get addicted to. That sometimes teens will take them to sell, or take for "fun". I tell them that there is no way to know who will be tempted, so to not let anyone know where they are, or look at them.
I've educated the kids on the horrible side effects of each of my meds and how they affect my health. They see me gag on the pills sometimes, and I am sure they would never be tempted to "try" any themselves.
I feel it is better to have the kids (14, 12, 8) know all about it, and what they do, and why it's such a bad idea to take them. I don't want to hide it from them and one day have them "found" and curiosity bring them to try it out. Or for them to not know enough to resist the "friend" who asks them to go look for pills to bring to the sleepover.
Posted 7/20/2012 6:23 AM (GMT 0)
Welcome! I think you have gotten great advice!
This has alerted me I better be more careful, I do keep my meds in the bathroom, and my friends and family know what I take, and no one has ever asked, but now I am nervous about it, like I need a lock box....
Posted 7/21/2012 8:39 AM (GMT 0)
Hi, everyone!

Thanks for all the good advice. I've moved all my pain meds to my bedroom, and will be looking into getting some kind of lock box when I can afford it.

Even though my brother has legitimate pain, and is scheduled for surgery, I am so angry, really, that he keeps putting me in this position. He says that his pills aren't as strong as mine and don't relieve the pain completely, which makes me laugh, because I'd be happy to be in moderate pain, and pain-free is a fantasy I don't even let myself have.
Posted 7/22/2012 4:17 AM (GMT 0)
Great advice from everyone!

Often people, co-workers, friends etc., when seeing me in such pain ask if I take pain meds or if I've tried them to help. Just an innocent question - I tell people, they don't work for me. (which is sometimes the truth).

I've thought of all of the people who I don't want to know that I have any. If they know I have a chronic pain condition, they might assume I have some in my house somewhere. I'd be a good target for theft.

I actually had a friend, someone who I hadn't actually seen in years but who I found out has Fibro too, ask me on FACEBOOK if I had any pain meds that I wasn't using that she could have! WHAT? Boy did I scold her.
Posted 7/22/2012 8:14 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Laura!….just a quick note here for you! If you are going to buy a lock box, please keep in mind that it will be one of the first things that someone will see of value, and can be easily taken. It may be a deterrent for young children in the house, but for teenagers and adults,…it will be nothing more than a handy carrying case. If you decide that is still what you want to keep your med's in, then I would suggest that you still find a very good hiding place.

There are some very heavy fire safes that weigh quite a bit and are built like a tank. It has been suggest that if a person wants better coverage against theft, to buy one with a combination lock, and not a key type. I myself bought one of the heavy fire safe types and while it can be removed, it looks very hard to break into and may discourage someone from messing with it.

Also, although I do use mine for most of my pain med's, I also keep a few in a safety deposit box at the bank for just a few dollars a year. If the house were to burn or some other natural disaster, or even a theft were to occur, I would have a backup until I could get help from my PCD.

Good luck in what ever you decide!

SE wink
Posted 7/24/2012 6:28 PM (GMT 0)
I agree with everyone with keeping everything locked up. I was at work one day and my stepson ( whom is not allowed in our house) showed up and told the person answering the door he was supposed to let the dogs out. Within seconds he was to the back of the house, thru my bedroom and gone with 2 boxes of patches. I kept my meds in my bedroom but the door wasnt locked. With a police report and pressing charges my pm dr did write another script and insurance paid for replacement, I was very lucky. He of course denied it and we couldnt prove anything, those drugs were sold around town within minutes. He finally admitted to it 3 years later.

He had asked for meds frequently from me, point is even if you say no, if they are desperate enough they will find a way to get them from you. Now my bedroom is always locked and the key stays around my wrist.
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