A sincere Thank-you to all my CP friends at HW

I am so glad that I decided a few months back to stop lurking here at HW CP and join the family.  Even though I have been at HW PC for 4 years now, and there are some good people there, very few of them deal with CP issues, and a part of me wasn't getting what I needed there.  A lot of men there, are dealing with ED and Incontient issues, which are a very real part of dealing with prostate surgery, especially if one chooses surger as a primary treatment.  For all my woes, I was fortunate in that I didn't have issues with either of those side effects.  Due to flawed treatments, especially the radiation I underwent, I ended up in the Chronic Pain and Chronic Fatigue sector.

I really feel at home here.  I don't feel like I have to justify my feelings, frustrations, and pain.  I also don't feel like I have to be constantly justifying my doctors decisions, like is common at HW PC.

There is no one here at HW CP that I don't like.  Each person here has a unique story and journey of their own.  I hurt every single day, as I know all of you do.  Pain is a much more constant enemy than any of the cancers I have fought with both now and in the past.  Cancer is a funny thing, my prostate cancer has only shown up as a number on a piece of paper.  It has never directly hurt me in any way.  However, the treatments to eradicate, stop, or slow it down, have done great damage to my body.

On the other hand, like most of you here, pain is a monster that won't go away.  I have not had a single pain free day since July of 2010.  For some of you, you have suffered from pain much longer than me, so I appreciate your battles and when you vent, trust me, I understand where you are coming from.

To the average non-CP person, they truly can't understand what we suffer.  If they get hurt, or sick and there is pain involved, its usually lower in intensity, and sure doesn't continue 24/7 for weeks, months, or years at the time.

I know that despite our vents and complaints, we are a tough bunch of people.  We have to keep on living, caring for our families, struggling to make ends meet, etc, the entire time dealing with serious and relentless pains of some forms.  And we all know, for most of us, the pain meds, even though they are strong, never ever take away all the pain, so we have to learn how to live with it, despite the pain levels.

Most people outside our world here, wouldn't make it a day dealing with the pain that must of us suffer with.

I just wanted to thank each and every member of the HW CP group, or should I say family, for your ongoing and continual support and uplifting of me as a member here.  Every kind word, every prayer offered, every piece of advice, is deeply appreciated by me.  I wish I could do more to help each and everyone of you.

And when I have a bad day or night, I know I can come here, unjudged, and feel a part of the caring family that you all are collectively.

Didn't mean to go on like this, but wanted to get it off my chest while I was thinking about it.

David in SC

David

What a lovely thing to say. You know I often think just the same about this CP forum. The support here is amazing, no one trying to outdo each other, like it was a competition to,see who was worst. I only joined one forum and that put me off for a long time. That's what I like here, you get so much love and support.

As for you David, you are unique in many ways. You have a harder struggle than many of us. Battling cancer is the pits, I know that because my daughter works in that field. You never complain about that at all, despite the fact you shouldn't really be in the situation you are. You offer so much to us here, you are sincere and compassionate, and a true inspiration to others.

It's lovely to think that you feel that way, and that we can help you in some small way. Thank you for putting that in writing, it was so nice to read that. So often I have felt the same way about everyone here, and I haven't been here long although I did lurk from the sidelines for a long time, frightened to write that first post!

Well it's 5.08 am according to my bedside clock so I guess I should try for more sleep. Maybe my iPad has been a bad thing, just logging on from bed in the past at this time, with a sleeping husband beside me, would have at one time never have happened! Still, it helps to pass those wakeful hours.

Take care and God bless

Jane

 

     ..David you have been a wonderful addition to our forum here. We all hate to see anyone suffering, but at least we know that there is a place to vent and share with others who understand completely.

    Nice post! Thanks!

   SE

Thanks again, to all that replied to this point. It's true, by giving here, I recieve plenty in return, I feel I take more than I give. And yes, I learned a long time ago in my own medical battles, that by helping others, no matter how small the effort or attempt, was the best way I could help myself. You find out real quick that you aren't the only show in town, and no matter how bad one thinks their own problems are, or suffering, you can quickly find many more in worse shape.

Peace be to each of you,

David

Hello David,

It's taken me a while to respond because I have been off of the board for a little while.  I can certainly understand where you are coming from.  This board has been a Godsend for me during my good and my bad times.  There are always special people to give me opinions on anything that concerns me...especially the CP things we all have in common.

You are a blessing here and one of the very special ones that can always be depended on to have a good heart and a helping spirit.  I am thrilled that you have gotten the support and the help that you need from the people here.

God bless you my friend.

thanks, to the most recent posters on this thread, but in my heart, i don't think i wrote anything, that 99% of the people here feel also and on a regular basis.

i always have to give peter, the owner of healing well, constant credit. for his vision of this place, and the ability to keep it running for all of us, and still free of charge to us, yet fighting his own medical battles.

i have never joined another health related forum. i stumbled onto this place 4 years ago on a google search by chance (or perhaps providence), and i have been here ever since.

was one of the wisest decisions i ever made on-line. when i first arrived, scared and uncertain like most new-comers, i never expected to stay more than a month or so, but here i am, 4 years later, approaching 17,000 posts. i never would have believed that.

david

thanks WB, but i honestly think i was just expressing what most anyone here would say, perhaps i am just a wordy person, lol, explains why i write novels

david

no problem, tina. sorry you have to suffer so much as well. i truly think on this board, each member can feel the pain of another, and that helps us help each other, and lets us know we are not alone in our sufferings.

david

thanks, chartreaux. i do the best i can, with what i have to work with (body wise). i have learned to make many cutbacks in activities that i use to love to do, and instead of being angry for what i can't do, i try to be thankful for what i can still do. as bad as it is, i am too aware, that things could, and probably get much worse one day as my cancer continues to progress unchecked.

i could insist on hormone therapy or even chemo to slow things down a bit, but neither me or the oncologist think its a good trade off. i have enough QOL issues right now, and either one of those treatments would ruin the little bit of quality i do have right now. It not worth it to me, I will take quality over quantity at this point. That's a tough choice that every cancer patient has to come to terms with.

I would rather stay being me, for as long as I can. Neither hormones or chemo can stop the cancer, so it seems pointless to burden my body with more distress.

thanks again

david

thanks and hugs, kaely.

even my own oncologist is not reccomending any advanced treatments at this time. we kind of work as a team, i will be having a new PSA test done late this month, and see how much it has risen since last time. i am only doing them every 6 months. some men in my situation get obsessed, and get tested monthly. my doctor says that only creates anxiety for the patient, and doesnt help him any. so we are on a watch and wait mode the past year. until there is some direct evidence of metastisis, he doesnt feel the trade off of a harsh treatment, that isnt going to cure the cancer anyway, isn't worth it to a patient that has suffered so much from damage and side effects of the previous treatments.

its been enough dealing with the chronic pain i have, the chronic fatigue, and having the urostomy all at the same time. sure don't want to take on more side effects, pain, and discomfort.

my dr. is prepared to act fast, when and if he feels the cancer has reached a direct physical threat to me.

meanwhile, having just turned 60, i intend to enjoy life the best i can - with my wife, kids and grand kids. one never knows when they are going to "check out" of this world.

i agree with him 100% on this, and my wife thinks it makes sense.

i am not a worrier, find its not a productive use of time and energy. for all that is wrong with me, i could drop dead of a heart attack tommorow, or get in a car wreck. in the bigger picture of this thing we call life, i simply don't worry about living or dying, ultimately, it's a call that is out of my hands.

meanwhile, life goes on, and i am expecting the sun to rise in the morning.

hope you are doing better yourself.

david

thanks and hugs back at you, loretta. its a good family here

thanks barbara, wow, 9 years at HW? didn't know it had been there that long. Today is my 4th anniversery, i will start a thread about that later, its 230 in the morning here

david

Thanks, Becky

I enjoy "talking" with you here and on the chat times. From reading your signature, there's plenty of reason why depression would be a major issue with you. You have a lot on your plate for sure.

That's why I feel, when someone makes their way to HW CP, they have already been through a lot. And though all of our journeys are different, and we are here for different reasons, that no one has it easier or better than another.

But the common tie of CP connects us here, regardless of the other reasons.

My best to you, and hugs!

David