newbie - please help with meds

After reading so many posts here, I feel almost silly with my pain problems. They really pale in comparrison to yours. I feel like I'm in a big line at the post office and everyone's got a bunch of packages to mail and i'm standing there with just one envelope. Anyway, I don't know where else to turn, so here goes:

I'm 35 (not sure if that matters yet, but may be more relevanr later on in my post). I have some nerve damage from a neglected bulging disc at L4 and L5. The sciatica pain is gone after a month of PT and another month of massage therapy (which was not as pleasant as it sounded). I still have pain in my left lower back, left buttock, groin, and down my left leg stopping mid-thigh. The pain comes and goes and is not the reason i'm here.

In addition to the previous details I inflicted on you, I have some mysterious muscular pain in both legs in my calves and thighs. They constantly ache and throb. The pain is so distracting that it was greatly affecting my qualify of life. It was very hard to work or relax at night, and forget about sleeping. But believe it or not, that's not why i'm here either.

The doctor prescribed tramadol, which I think must be the greatest thing on earth. I was finally able to get work done and sit down at night at the tv and get a good night's sleep. But i'm married. And as great as tramadol is as a pain med, he's a lousy wingman. While on it, I couldn't care less that there was an amazing female inches away. And when she gets tired of waiting and tries to initiate, a certain necessary participant is usually a no-show. If he does make an appearance, he's not dressed up as much as he used to be. Luckily, the duration of the show hasn't been affected and still lasts as long as needed.

The wife is accepting of the no-show, but not the lack of interest. She insists that I should still be initiating and just doing other things. Which I have no problem doing if asked, but I can't initiate it, it just never occurs to me to start. She says I have to power through it. She compared it to women not being in the mood to entertain, but doing it anyway. I don't know if that's a fair comparrison or not. I really feel kind of helpless. I know she feels like i'm not attracted to her (and/or that i'm being lazy) and that i'm just using the medicine as an excuse. I sincerely feel like this is something I can't control, though. I'm not choosing to not be interested. And it doesn't occur to me to entertain her. My brain has shut down that department, there's no signals going in or out. Does that sound crazy?

So anyway, that's why i'm here. Does anyone know of a pain med that doesn't have libido killing side effects? I've tried wonderful tramadol and neurontin and cymbalta. Only tramadol worked on the pain, but all of them failed in the bedroom. Sorry this was so long.

Please help!

Hi Ookla76,
First off your not whining, Thats why we have this board to help people that are having pain issues. I've had the same problem you are talking about and brought it up with my pain doctor who ordered a testosterone level (blood test) then put me on the androderm patch. Problem solved.... You can speak with any doctor that you are seeing and they should know what to do. Many of the pain medications have this side effect but many men feel embarrassed to talk about it. once they get you on the correct medication you will feel like a new man. Hope you feel better..Randy

Thank you, everyone, for the replies. To answer a previous question, no, I'm not on any anti-depressants. The only thing I'm taking right now is neurontin again (giving it another try). My next appointment is December 5 and I will definitely ask about getting my testosterone levels checked. I tried talking to my doctor about the medicines causing a decrease in interest and she acted quite surprised, saying that that particular symptom occurs less than 1%. Her answer was to put me on cymbalta (which did not help).

By the way, is there a tolerance issue with chronic pain meds? For example, in the beginning, one 50mg tramadol in the morning and one 50mg at night was working perfectly to get rid of my pain through the day and through the night. But after awhile, it started to seem like its effectiveness was wearing off. My doctor said to start taking 100mg in the morning and 100mg at night and I thought: "uh oh! I see where this is going. Flash forward a year from now and I'll be taking 600mg a day!" Is that the reality we're in? The meds only last for so long at certain levels and then inevitably have to get bumped up? I don't know why, but the idea of having to take stronger and stronger doses kind of bums me out.

Post Edited (ookla76) : 11/21/2012 9:42:58 AM (GMT-7)

Pain medications lower your testosterone. Some males after the age of 30 have decreasing levels also. I had similiar issues and asked an endocrine dr to check my levels. Testosterone levels were very low, less than 100. Depending on the lab, normal ranges from 250-300 on the low end, and 850-900 on the high end.
He tested my pituitary as a possible cause, but when everything checked out fine, said my levels were low due to chronic opioid use.

I got a IM shot in his office of testosterone and started on androgel replacement. As long as I am on pain meds, I will need testosterone replacement. Two days later, my depression was gone, I had energy of a 18 yr old male, sex drive was back, as well as (excuse me) rock hard erections. Testosterone replacement made me feel like superman.
Dr titrated my doses to maintain a level of 500. He treats many men with low test that are not on pain meds. Your medication is a first level pain med, but may have caused it.

Get your levels checked and ask to see the report. Look at the level of free and total testosterone and if they are low, ask for replacement.

One thing to watch is the gel is not to be touched by a female. You are to rub it on an area that is covered by a shirt. I was concerned about contaminating my wife and daughters through skin contact. I switched to injections once every 2 weeks or 1/2 the dose once a week.
If you need to continue to take the pain meds, and in my opinion there is nothing wrong with that, get your level checked