life seems unbearable sometimes

Brandi, I am so sorry we had to meet like this. Military doctors, where do I start...

First of all, thank you and your husband for your service. He may have worn the uniform, but you served as well.

Now, let's look at the positive. He has found a medication that puts him to sleep. That is actually a good thing. While most of us who are in pain have to take doses that start too low and slowly work up to a useful dose, He has found one that works, if a little too well.

If that medication is in pill form, try getting a pill cutter (this will not work for capsules), they sell them at Walgreen's, WalMart, or just about any other pharmacy. Then he can try just taking half of a dose. --- edited to add: check with a pharmacist to see if that specific medication is safe to be cut and taken in a half dose. Some arent. ----- If that gives satisfactory results, You have a winner. Talk to the doctor and tell him that half the dosage of this med works. He will probably get a new prescription for a lower dose of the same medication.

If it is in capsule form, let the doctor know that the med knocks him out, and he would like to try a lower dosage if it's available, since he does have household duties, like taking care of the kids.

Just keep the faith my dear. The light is at the end of the tunnel.

Hi Brandi, I am sorry that you and your family has to go through this, is your husband still in the military? or was he medically discharged and has his care through the VA? Have you checked with the VA or the military for any spouse support groups? I can understand what you are going through, and what your husband is going through! Military and VA doctors are not known to have that much compassion about a persons pain! It is easy for them to say they should not have that much pain and then not adequately treat it.  I am retired military and know all about deaing with pain and getting adequate treatment and dealing with military doctors while in the military. I would suggest that you as a spouse get online and look for different support groups, and also during this time seek help with marriage counselling, his medical conditions can put a terrible strain on the marriage, and it is not your fault nor his, it is just something that happens. But with that said seek help so your marriage can survive this!  I will try an do some research in the next few days to see if I can find any help for you and your husband. May I ask what branch of the Military he is or was in? Also is this a war related injury? Brandi your not alone, and I know this is a very stressfull time for you and your husband and your whole family. You are right it is not easy for him to all of a sudden not be able to take care of his family! Being in the military, he was responsible for his family and taking care of them, and when this is suddenly taken away from him,.............well it is a big loss, and for a man it takes a portion of his soul! But with saying that, you as a spouse have your limits too, and that is understandable!  I don't have any magic words to make things better, but there has to be something out there that can help your husband and you and your family get through this!  Does your job provide medical benefits? or are you strictly reliant on the military health care system?

Try to stay strong, I will try and research online to see if I can find any support available to your husband and family, that might be able to help you in this situation. There are many Veteran support groups out there that help vets get proper treatment and help for there families. I do wish you well and thank your husband for me for his service, and I also thank you as his spouse for your service supporting your husband.

White Beard

Brandi, welcome to the CP forum. I can relate with you a lot. My hubby served over 21 years in the Air Force with combat camera. Yes, the name says it all, he's got a ton of combat TDY'S under his belt.

We are very lucky that he did fine in the First Gulf War, and Then in Iraq and Afghanistan. He sustained a back injury early in his career but as far as any other physical injuries he's been lucky. Now as to the mental and emotional stuff he doesn't share to often with me.

Was your hubby's injury due to combat? Is he totally out, and what branch was he in? Is there a base nearby where he can be seen? I ask this cause with the latest conflicts there is plenty of support for our troops. I'm in the metro DC area and I get my care at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, and thereis a lot of support for the wounded warriors and their whole family.

My hubby and I have been together married almost 28 years in June. Try to stay positive with your hubby, be there when he wants to talk, be there if he just wants to lay with you and try to relax. I would suggest some marriage/family counseling, I know the military guys frown on it but offer the thought to him. Take time for yourself and if you need to take control by find the correct Dr for him then do it.

I wish you both the best of luck. I say thank you for his service to his country and you are to be thanked also. When they are away, we hold it all together and try really hard to not let him know things aren't good at home. You and your children have made a huge sacrifice by supporting him, and I thank you for that.

If we can help anymore please come and ask away, or come and vent and let off steam the folks here are great. Hoping he gets treatment soon for his ankle pain.

Hugs,
Barbara