Lost in a world of pain.

I'm going to try to make a very long story as short as I can. lol

I have a history of depression and anxiety, that I spent most of my life dealing with on my own. I tried therapy at one point, and really thought it was not doing me any good. I truly believed getting help was a sign of weakness, and being a single mother weakness was not an option. I always assumed the random pain was due to those things.

In Feb I finally got up the nerve to talk to my doc. I told her about my history and asked if we could try me back on the meds from way back when. She put me on zoloft 25 to start. In April I went in for a check. Told her the pain was still present and she upped my zoloft to 50 and ran some blood tests. I think (if I remember right) she check all the "normal" stuff, and also checked my thyroid. Everything came back clear. She said to try changing how I sit at work, cut out soda, walk more all that fun stuff.

At the end of May I found a rather large lump in my breast. It seemed to pop up over night. I was about to start my cycle, so I waited till it ended to go to the Dr. She set me up for an US a few days later. I was at the surgery center about 2 weeks later.

Let me at at this time... I do not have INC and thou I am low income I do not qualify for state help. So my Dr. is at a local clinic.

The doc at the surgery center was amazing. He was helpful, and kept me well informed of what was going on. He tried to aspirate it wit no luck. Made a small incision to let it drain, again no luck. I ended up having to have it removed. The infection was so big, my breast held almost 2 foot of gauze when we first started packing it.

I believe that was "the beginning of the end" so to speak. Since then my pain tolerance has seemed to drop. Things have gotten harder to "brush off". Anything I do feels like it takes 10x the effort and energy to do. Things as simple as folding cloths can wind me. Walking to the mail box feels like I walked 5 miles. Picking up my daughter is a chore of its own. Half the time, I feel like I'm walking around in a haze. The strangest thing was the amount of time I keep running to the bathroom. My anxiety has gone through the roof. It seems to be an endless cycle. Pain goes up, anxiety goes up, pain goes up more. Dr. checked my thyroid again, said the surgery could have caused a problem with it. Nothing.

My Dr. moved and I was assigned a new one. She has changed all my meds. Put me on Bupropion, took me off the zoloft and Tramadol for pain. She said the symptoms sounded like an auto immune disorder. So more test. Rheumatoid arthritis, my vitamins B12 and D, and there was another one to test my immune system. I dont recall what it was. The "might be an auto immune" thing freaked me out a bit. Everything came back normal, except the vitamin D. The nurse told me it was low, and they put me on a supplement.

I'm just lost now, and nothing seems to help. My family try to help, but I can see in their faces they question my pain. I have snapped at my boss, my kids, my friends all because of the pain and stress. I feel like, because we cant find whats wrong, everyone thinks I'm faking it. I'm not sure what to do or where to go next, and the Drs seem to be at the same place. That bothers me just as much. lol

Sorry for the long post. Any advice would be awesome. Thanks!

Hi Bella and welcome. Your journey is similar to a lot of ours. Many of us have gone through multiple test and even doctors. I am glad you found us but sorry you need us. To me it does sound possibly auto immune. Do you know what your SED rate was or your ANA results? I have several auto immune conditions.

For a long time my family thought I was faking it too. I don't understand why because I am the most honest person in the world. If I have a dream about another man I tell my husband. It makes things even harder when people do not believe. We are here and we understand.

Bella,

I'm really looking forward to hearing more from you on this. As everyone else mentioned, you're definitely not alone here, you fit right in.

When we have "invisible" conditions, and many of us here even have things with scars or "badges" to "prove" it, pain is something that seems to come with a label, a lot like when you were hesitant to see someone for therapy.

I'm still convinced that a lot of this, how we're treated, has more to do with what makes OTHER people comfortable, not us. If to them you seem fine,....if to them you look great,...if they don't see you bleeding, in a cast, with pins sticking out or tubes coming out,....if there are emotional charges woven in, (which there always are),...it becomes a provocative issue.

Many people here will be right in line to offer more help.

I've had my share of infections and a few nasty packings. They are so necessary but so painful. I wish I had more to offer you.


Merrida

Hi and welcome to our chronic pain forum. I don't have a lot to offer, but I do know that Vitamin D deficiency can cause pain. I'm on Vitamin D now for a vitamin D deficiency. I hope that helps a little at least with the pain question. I hope you find the reason for your symptoms really soon.

hugs
Loretta