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Posted 1/6/2014 6:01 PM (GMT 0)
Hello everyone I am 46 yr old female who deals with chronic pain as well as other chronic illnesses. I have sciatica, neuropathy, osteoarthritis, spinal stenosis, herniated disc's s1, L5, L4, L3, bulging dics in my neck, DDD, and DJD. I also have COPD, and gastristist. I feel very alone in this battle with chronic pain. They will not do surgery because the surgeon said they cant replace my entire spine. So I have been seeing a pm doctor for 10 months. He is nice though he often times looks at my PTSD which is from childhood trama as a cause for my pain and did at first think I had conversion disorder until he had a MRI done of my entire spine, shoulders, and hips as well, I have a slap tear in my right shoulder and a partial rotater cuff tear in my right shoulder. My husband is a god sent. He works 60 to 70 hours a week and will still help with dinner, laundry, cleaning, and anything else I ask of him. I do worry that I will become a burden to him over time. I feel alone in this battle as I keep a lot inside from other famiy members because I don't want them to think I am complaining. I had never been on pain medication until 8 months ago and I wish everyday that I did not have to take it. Yes, it has helped with the pain however I have lost a lot of weight from it and I was not big to begin with. I know extra weight is not good for my back problem though I once enjoyed food now I have to push myself to eat. I could go on however, I will stop here. I do hope to find some supportive people on this forum so I don't feel so alone. Thank you for your time and understanding.
Posted 1/6/2014 10:09 PM (GMT 0)
hi jaylliz and welcome to the forum. sorry to hear about your pains. well ya difinitly won't be loney here. lots of good people with aches and pains of our own. i also have a few of your toubles so i know how ya feel. here you can meet lots of people with all kinds of advice, ideas,suggestions and so on.
so kick back, and enjoy the forum. i guess that would sound kinda weird considering were all suffering from one sort of illness, injuries and so on. anyway best of luck to ya in your journey to feeling better.

mark
Posted 1/6/2014 10:15 PM (GMT 0)
Jayliz Welcome to Healing Well and its Chronic Pain Forum, first off let me tell you that your not alone with your feeling about your pain, many of us if not all of us here understand exactly what you mean when you talk about feeling alone with your battle with Chronic Pain. I will say it again your not alone! I think you will find the support you seek from everyone here on this forum. We are kind of like family here, we all understand what it is like living with chronic pain and what affects that has on family and friends and others. When your here on this forum you are part of our chronic pain family, and we will lend you our ears and listen to you, and give you compassionate support, and what advice we may have to help you. The main thing is, since we all suffer from chronic pain, we understand, and cannot just sympathize with you, but also empathize with you! Which I feel is much much better! So our support to you comes from understanding what it is like for you to suffer from chronic pain.

I am sorry that you had to come and find us, nobody wants another person to have to endure chronic pain, but with that said I am glad your here, and I think and I hope that after you get to know us that you will be glad you came here too!

Anyway I just wanted to Welcome you to the forum!

White Beard
Posted 1/6/2014 10:27 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Mark thank you for your nice response it certainly makes me feel a bit better. I am also disabled and that is hard because I remember the days that I did work and miss it very much. Do you ever have a hardtime with judgemental people? I do that is why I can't share a lot with my family they are already judgemental enough that I don't work. I feel as if they think I am lazy. When I did work I did very physical work and enjoyed going each day. Just not being able to get out is enough to drive me crazy. The only times I get out are for dr appts or to the grocery store always with someone. I miss the days of going out to dinner and a movie or just a walk in the park. I guess it is hard for others when I look okay on the outside. Though even before my health started to decline I was never one to judge others nor would I start. Once again thank you for your kind reply.
Posted 1/6/2014 10:33 PM (GMT 0)
Hi white beard, thank you for your nice response.
Posted 1/6/2014 10:42 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Jayliz & welcome to the forum. Sorry to read you have quite a few different things going on with your health. That seems to be about par for course though it seems.

I am glad to read that you have a good pain mgt dr taking care of you. That is our best option in the medical arena is to have a good pain mgt dr on board. You mentioned you have lost quite a bit of weight, is it your pain meds doing this? What the pain mgt dr think of the weight loss? Oh, we all wish we could get by without having to take any medication but if we want any quality of life we need the medication so that we can have this.

That is awesome that your husband is so helpful & understanding. Sometimes spouses do not get it & understand. I am sure your husband knows that if the shoe was on the other foot, you would do the very same for him. Don't beat yourself up over this, you did not do something to cause this or ask for it to happen to you. Instead give that hubby an extra hug or I love you, better yet bake him a pie or a cake one day when you feel half decent.

Now that you are here, you will find a lot of folks just like you and you will see that you are not alone. Come here any time you need someone to talk to or just need to vent.

Anyway, just wanted to say hi and welcome aboard. Also, please note there are a few forum rules here and when you have a moment take a look at them. It just helps to keep everyone on the same page.

Take care.......Susie
Posted 1/7/2014 3:21 AM (GMT 0)
hey jayliz, sounds like were in the same boat. i also loved to work and it was really quite the blow when i was told i probability wouldn't be able to work again. and not just that, i enjoyed working out around the house and had several hobbies i enjoyed doing. over the last 8 years or so iv'e been able to accept which does in a way make it easier to deal with. even with my background (medically speaking) i did at times feel like i was being judged but that to faded with time. knowing that it isn't our faults for our aches and pains also makes it easier to deal with. last november i had a pain pump inplanted and now i'm getting the medication level squired away and if things go well i'd like to be able to do some volunteering. one it would get me outta the house and two help others in any way i can. that is great that you have someone to help ya out and also one who understands. thats awesome. anyway, does your doctor have any plans for tests, surgeries. etc..i do find that a positive attidute really helps also.
well i wish you the best of luck and hope you find some pain relief..keep us posted...

mark
Posted 1/7/2014 5:40 AM (GMT 0)
Welcome. :) you will find lots of kindness and understanding here. I defiantly understanding your comment of feeling judged. I've always had to remind my self ppl probably think/judge me much less than I think they do. They have thier own lives, thier own worries, their own private battles... I wish life was different for you, for me, for everyone else.

I'm very lucky to have a supportive and caring husband too. He works so much and helps out at home too. I often worry he will get burnt out on it/me. Sounds like we are both very fortunate!

But this is life now. The meds we take are necessary to survive. It's life now and we can still make the most of it.

I too miss working. I worked in health care for over 10 years. I miss the feeling of accomplishment of helping others, of figuring pieces of the puzzle that gave them a better quality of life. I miss feeling like I was pulling me weight and contributing. :)

You aren't alone. We understand and feel what you do. May you find comfort in that. Take of yourself, glad you are here.
Posted 1/7/2014 10:35 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you everyone for your kind replies. My pm thinks the weight loss is due to my medication and he is trying to change things around to see if that helps my appietite. Surgery is not an option because each time they do an MRI which they did one every 3 months for a year each time they found more pieces of my vertbrea had broken off and remains in my spinal fluid. The surgeon said he can't replace my whole spine. I try to stay postive though at times it is difficult. I need to stop thinking so much how things were and do the best I can now. I am sure I will get there in time.
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