Your prayers please for one of ours

Splashdancer posts here in CP often so I consider her one of ours. Her husband passed away today and I thought you may want to offer sympathy via the thread in the hepatitis forum.

Done, and done.

My heart goes out to her....Thank you for letting us know where to post to her.




M.

Prayers for her, family & friends

our prayers go out to you and your family. sorry for your loss.

That's awful! I'm so sorry :( I know it seems repetitive but there just...I can't seem to find the words to say it any other way. I can't imagine how hard it must be. If there's anything I or we can do to help...please...just ask.

My heart hurts for you.

Prayers going up---------I am a Christian



hugs, Caren

Hi Everyone! Thank you all so much for your kind words, prayers, and positive thoughts - they really do mean alot to me.

People keep telling me that 'it' will get better - well I'm definitely not seeing that yet. I just miss Robert so much. It was a month yesterday that he lost his fight with liver disease and it is just now seriously starting to sink in that he's really gone. He was an amazing man - an amazing person. The world is a much darker place without him in it. We were together for almost 15 years. We went thru a lot together, and I mean a LOT - but we had this deep unconditional love and friendship that nothing could break. It's kinda hard to describe us, we were just.....solid. I'm struggling, I mean REALLY struggling, it feels like I'm just going thru the motions of living - but I'll continue to try and find my way.

Exactly two weeks after Robert died, I swerved to avoid an animal in the road and ran head-on into a tree, totaling my mom's car (our only transportation). I ended up with a shattered collarbone, severe bruising across my chest/abdomen, a small fracture in my left foot, seriously bruised tail-bone, and I further damaged my cervical and lumbar spine (like I really needed that!). The bruising across my lower abdomen has also worsened my A.R.D. - something else I really didn't need. A lot of the damage was caused by the seatbelt, but like the paramedics said, if it wasn't for the seatbelt it would have been ME through the windshield and into the tree, so I'll take the injuries! And the strangest thing happened in the moments after the accident. I was only 'out' for a few seconds, but when I came to, the accelerator was stuck wide open - it sounded like it was going to blow up or something. I wasn't panicking, but I was a bit confused and out of it - I was trying to un-stick the gas pedal, but it wasn't working. All of a sudden, I felt this 'warmth' (only way I can describe it) come over me and I clearly heard Robert tell me, "Baby, just calm down and turn off the ignition." So I did. It was the most amazing thing - no one can tell me that he wasn't there with me. He always worried about me when I drove, probably because I've been in several car accidents - three of them very bad (only this one and one other were my fault!). So it makes sense that he'd be with me in the car.

Ok, didn't mean to ramble! Just please...don't take anyone you love for granted. Never miss an opportunity to tell them and SHOW them that you love them. And thank you again for caring. Right now, I'm feeling pretty alone - with the exception of a few select people, I haven't heard from anyone since the first day or so after Robert died. Friends and family were blowing up my phone during the 11 days he was in a coma - but now, nothing. But I've got my boys and my mom - the heck with the rest of them!

Thank you so much, White Beard. I know what you said is probably right, but it just bothers me. With most of Robert's family members, it doesn't bother me too much. He had an extremely abusive childhood, at the hands of those who should have been protecting him. It's the ones who told me, "We'll stay in touch" or "If you need anything, we're here for you". Well my family is in desperate need of help - and no one has done anything. See, although Robert and I called each other husband/wife, we were not legally married (but we were together almost 15 years - longer than many marriages!). So when he died, his disability stopped and that was our main source of income. I can't pay the bills and I'm desperately trying to come up with the money to get Robert's ashes. A wonderful lady who belongs to a cat rescue group that I help with started a YouCaring fund for my family (we only know each other thru Facebook - we've never even met). Family members and friends wanted me to send them the info - I did...and nothing. And I have to tell you, there may be zero funds donated, but the fact that a person who I've never even met set up a fund for my family, means more to me than a thousand fake tears! This same lady and one other from my rescue crew put money in my PayPal - these are people who don't have money to give, they run rescues that they struggle to maintain. Its hard enough to ask for help, it's embarrassing and humiliating but I have to let go of my pride for my family's sake - it just makes it worse when people say they'll "help with whatever we need", then when I ask, they don't. Ok, I'm whining now - I'm sorry! It's just that the grief is hard enough to deal with, without all the other stuff I have to worry about. I know I'm far from the only one going through something like this.

Thank you for your kindness, White Beard. I'm just taking things one day at a time - actually one hour at a time, most days! I know I will eventually find my 'new normal', but right now I just miss him so much. Where's a time machine when you need one?!