Ira, the part about
not knowing how you are going to feel, hour to hour, really struck home with me. That's my weakest link right there. I'll wake up feeling great, ready to take on a project or something but in a couple of hours fatigue or pain or both hit and I am driven to bed.
I've tried way too many times to man up and work through it only to wind up sick as a dog for a couple of days. When I say sick I mean totally unable to push myself out of the bed, 20 minute hot flushes, nausea, you name it.
When I rented this house 5 years ago I was so happy as it had a detached shop. It hadn't been used for at least 20 years and was leaking and there was mud from some floods that at places was 3 feet deep. I paced myself and cleaned it out, built tables and set up a frame shop. This took over a year. I did a few jobs but between the cancer meds and the minimum of pain meds I just wasn't able to turn out the work quality that I pride myself on. Two years ago I had to face it and told my customers that the work was beyond me. They understood, I never let anything out of the shop that I wasn't satisfied with so they never got "screwed". The inability to support myself and my wife without getting my SSA benefits back bothers me the most about
being disabled. I'll be 60 in 2 months, maybe I'll be able to accept it then. Sorry about
the vent but I'm sure you all have been there . . . Q
Post Edited (quincy17) : 9/19/2014 11:25:48 AM (GMT-6)