I have been suffering with chronic back pain since September 2005 due to a car accident I was in. It took me two years to finally be at the top of the list for surgery. I had an infusion February 13, 2007. I went for months of painful therapy and pain medications. Ever since the back surgery I have had unwanted increase in back pain. I have noticed that over the years the pain has increased and is much worse in the winter and when it is damp outside. I really started looking more forward to summer. Summer was the time when I had less pain and was more mobile. This summer was a big disappointment. I had more pain this summer then last, due to the dampness, and there were nights when it wasn't so nice out. I had been warned by people I know who have had some kind of metal in their body tell me that the cold can cause you a great deal of pain and they were 100% right. As soon as I get outside the cold instantly goes right into my back. The rest of my body can be warm but my back is like putting your hand in a freezer. I have purchased back wraps that lets off heat for 8 hours so that I can get out and do my shopping or go to appointments. It does keep my back fairly warm but as soon as I remove it, the pain becomes much worse and many of times unbearable. There are days when I can't even get out of bed. I try to sleep in different positions, pillow between my legs, heating blanket under my sheets but once the cold sets in I'm doomed.( the heating blanket shuts down after a certain time. I have spent many of nights frustrated and in total tears just praying that I would be given a miracle and have all my pain disappear.
I have become depressed and I feel at times like giving up. I hate living this way but I am also afraid to try a lot of pain medications in fears of becoming addicted. I started going to a pain clinic and tried some of the narcotics, but I hated the effect they gave me and again I was afraid to be addicted. I eventually asked to be transferred to a closer clinic as the drive was long and in the winter I had more pain. I just couldn't handle it. By the time I'd get home my pain was even worse. I also know that when I was tense it would also irritate my back even more and the highway I had to take to the clinic was very dangerous in the winter even for someone who hasn't got chronic pain. Before I was transferred I took a Pain management Educational 6 week class. I learned a lot and met a lot of other people living with some kind of chronic pain. When I transferred to a clinic closer to me I first informed the doctor of my fear of being addicted. He seemed to have understood and said he could still help me. I started using the Butran patches and was increased slowly in hopes that it would be my pain relief. It did give me some comfort but I still had those days when the cold set into my back and the patches helped in no way. The doctor started to give me pills to use for those really painful days but I learned that they were narcotics and I didn't feel right. I would feel off, light headed, some gave me horrible migraines and some even made me vomit. I was so discouraged as I know that there are other medications that can help me with pain and that aren't narcotics but he hadn't given me any.
I went in one day after my husband had noticed that my back was becoming quit bruised as my pain got worse. I was finding other bruises on my body which didn't make sense. I explained to my pain doctor and also showed him the bruising on my back and in other areas. I was shocked at his reaction. He told me that it was my fault and that he couldn't do anything for me due to me not wanting to take any narcotics for pain. He just gave up on me. He told me that I need to go to my family doctor for pain medications. I felt so alone. I left the clinic and sat in my truck and cried. I didn't know how I was going to do this alone. I got home and had another break down. My daughter sat with me and comforted me for some time.
I ended up getting a call from that same doctor that very day. I had my phone on speaker so that my daughter could hear what he had to say. She was floored and speechless. He had the nerve to call me up to tell me that my bruising was from a heating pad. I have used one at certain times but I can reassure you that it wasn't from a heating pad. The heating pad that I have used is much safer then the original ones. The heating pad I have, wraps around your waste and has three settings. It also has a timer on it. It instantly goes off after 20 minutes. I contacted the company who makes the heating pad and they reassured me that, the heating pad has been made to not burn your skin. My daughter decided to do her own test and she used the heating pad over the weekend for 48 hours straight. Every time it would shut off she would turn it back on. Within the 48 hours, she had no burns on her back. I also had a friend who is a nurse drop by and look at my back. She told me that what was on my back wasn't a burn from a heating pad it was from the pain. I can't remember the name she gave me but she explained that if you have a great deal of pain it can cause bruising. She pulled up a web site and read to me all the details. I went to my family doctor and showed him my back and he agreed with me. It was bruising and not a burn. My doctor was very disappointed in how I was just discarded.
I told my doctor that I need something for my pain and that the pain doctor told me that I was to get him to prescribe me something for my pain. Unfortunately my doctor wasn't able to, due to the new rules. He told me to contact the pain clinic and tell the doctor that he needed to send a letter to my family doctor stating that he was no longer treating me and that my doctor was to treat my pain.. That never ever happened. He only sent my doctor a letter saying that he couldn't help me because I refused to take any narcotics. I called three times asking him to send the appropriate letter so my family doctor could help me manage my pain and its been months. I have been suffering all these months and the pain is getting even worse. I figured after a few months that my family doctor would finally help me with my pain knowing that no other doctor is giving me pain medication but he is paranoid now with all the rules and doesn't want to get himself in trouble. I can understand his point but my records would show that I haven't seen any other doctor for pain medication. I have been taking Tylenol #1 but they only help a little bit. Taking to much Tylenol is also dangerous for my liver. I am at the point where I am even more depressed and I have lost weight and all hope. I can't eat because the pain is so unbearable that I feel so sick to my stomach. I don't know what to do anymore. I have had people tell me that maybe my only way to pain relief is street drugs. That is the biggest NO for me. I have never and will never try any kind of street drugs. I have also been told to have a few stiff drinks.
That to is a big NO for me. To top it off I have type 2 diabetes and I'm on 500mg of Metformin twice daily. I have a sleeping problem which I was diagnosed 4 years ago. I take sleeping pills but they are no longer helping because my pain is so bad It keeps me awake. I also need to say that I have had my family doctor for over 20 years but I have noticed lately that he isn't on the ball as he use to be. He has talked to me about
sending me to another pain clinic that has
opened and is close to me but it has been 3 months and he still hasn't made any arrangements for me. I have gone in and reminded him and I have also called his secretary to ask her to remind him but still nothing has been done. Last week I had to make a heart breaking decision. I decided that I need to find another doctor in hopes that I can get some help and get into a clinic.. I had my first visit Monday and she seems very caring and understands my pain and frustration. She talked to me about
a pain clinic that she has sent some of her patients to and is going to refer me to that clinic. I will find out the results this Friday. I hope that she is on the ball and does, because I really don't know how much more pain I can take. I thought giving birth was painful. The pain I have to live with each day is so much worse. At least once you deliver, the pain is gone.
I know I have rambled on but, this site seems to be where people can let it all out and release some of their emotions and frustration. I just want to have more painless days then I have been having. I don't know what a day is without pain. I have a very supportive husband and kids but I see how my pain stresses them out and I don't want to put my family threw it. I have found that my daughter worries all the time about
me and I can see how it's caused her some depression to. It's just wrong that my family also suffer. I actually feel some what better letting this out.. I feel like some of the weight has been lifted off my back.
I just want some help and some relief from the pain. I have been falling farther and farther into a deep depression and I'm scared I won't be able to come out. Is there any hope and if there is, WHERE?
Post Edited By Moderator (nvrthesame98) : 10/9/2014 4:06:04 AM (GMT-6)