surgeon just doesnt understand:(

:cry So I go for a total hip replacement next month( 33yrs old). I went to my surgeon last year to talk about options for my hip, we discussed the surgery. I did not want to because I'm so young, and my youngest was 1 and still liked to be carried alot...very mommy attached. We both agreed that I would work on loosing weight and see if that helped. I managed to loose 40+lbs, but shortly after got pregnant. So went through that and had the baby and now she is 4 months. I only gained about 15 lbs. I went back to the surgeon and finally gave in as my hip has gotten so much worse. Degeneration of a 90yr old, with numerous bone spurs,cysts,arthritis, and hip bone is pushing up into my pelvis. We talked about kids, he has 5, I have four, so you would think he would understand things.He talked to me about the amount of pain meds I take and said he doesn't prescribe much stronger than what I have usually post operation, and wants me to wean down. I started to cry, because I can't get through my day w/o these. If I could I would. I know the risks,of addiction and all that, and don't want to be taken these forever. But then he asked if he could prescribe me a walker or crutches. How in the hell can I carry a cast seat, kids, or groceries with those?? I'm afraid he won't give me adequate medication, or maybe I should ask my primary doc if she can control my post op pain???

I have never undergone a surgical procedure relying on the Surgeon to do my pain management and wouldn't, it's not their forte. If he will not bring PM onboard he would not be operating on me and from a personal prespective at your age I would definitely want a second opinion on something as major as a hip replacement!!

Post op rehab is long and lengthly Laura and you have small kids home. Your going to be on walker and crutches for many months as your entire body and brain learns how to adjustment to a foreign object and your muscoskeletal system is totally retrained to function with that new joint and we are talking months to year here for this to happen barring you have no complications.

When I had my first partial knee done at 40 the joint had only a 12-18 year life guarantee meaning if it lasted that long which it didn't I was facing another replacement at 55-60? Some of the hardware has gotten better with life expectancies but only 20 years and your in the low 30s. This is Not a procedure you want to do twice in a lifetime.

Please talk to a different surgeon, see if they agree and do your homework, know what make and model joint he plans on using if you go through with this, how much PT you have scheduled post op, read all you can from others who have had one done at your age then weigh the options.

Hi Laurabelle,

I agree with others about seeking a second opinion. You have nothing to lose. Even if all the second opinion says is they agree with your original surgeon, you can be that much more confident in the decisions being made.

Do you currently have any involvement with pain management? Even if you don't, I guess I would find out how to have the pain management people handle pain control after surgery. Again, Vickie is right on, surgeons are there to do the surgery, some think they specialize in pain management, but they don't. And if you (hopefully) get that second opinion, ask who handles pain control issues post surgery.

I know this needs to happen soon, but do everything possible to get a second opinion or work something out with the current surgeon about someone else do pain management. I know it's stressful and a big thing to take on when in pain, have a family with young kids, time pressures, etc. But this is a big deal. And it's not like if you are unhappy with how it's handled, you can "do it over". It must be taken care of now, before surgery.

As for the surgeon's bedside manner, my understanding is that a lot of surgeons lack good social skills, sympathy/empathy, or even a normal human connection with patients. The only reason I would even be slightly concerned about bedside manner is if you think it affects pain control options, or if he's someone you would need to have a relationship with for any length of time after surgery/recovery. I figure that while it's nice to have a surgeon w/ a good bedside manner, it's so much more important that you trust the decisions they are making about your body, and that they have a reputation of being a good surgeon for your type of surgery.

Also in my experience, post surgery a lot of surgeons try to wash their hands of you if there are any additional issues that come up then. They may as well just say, "Ok, i've done my part (the surgery), any problems you have now are not my problem." And then I'm off to pain management or another specialist who can help. Hoping (and doubting) that you will have additional unforeseen issues come up, and therefore can just ignore this part. Maybe my experiences were unique, but I've come to count on surgeons to do the surgery, a follow up or two, and then they take off, and it's back to my previous doc or whatever's appropriate.

I really hope things get sorted out quickly and easily. And of course, that surgery goes well!! Try to resist the urges to do more than you can and should do as you recover. Give yourself time to heal. Allowing your body to heal before jumping back into being supermom to 4 kids will be tough, but so worth it in the end!! Your body needs that time to repair and get back into a physical condition where it can do things like pick up kids and get on the floor to play with them, or whatever the case may be. Rushing it or pushing it beyond what it's ready to handle will likely set you back some or even cause more problems. Try hard to be a patient patient. (Easier said than done, I know.)

Will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Surgeons are NOT known for their bedside manner, LOL. I could care less as long as s/he knows what they're doing when they're cutting me open, but it is truly a part of the profession because all they care about (as they should) is precision.

I totally agree that you need to push him to get pain management involved or you'll be up a creek after, we have had many people on here posting about that situation. I would hate to see you suffering even more than you need to. :(

Also, in my experience, doctors do not listen when you talk about all the stuff you have to do for your kids. It's like they think you can just magically find someone to do all that stuff. I've just been flat-out told 'you have to stop doing X' (like carrying a car seat, picking the kids up, etc.) When I get told that I have literally laughed out loud. It is impossible as a mom.

I'm so glad you have a lot of help. That makes all the difference. I had surgery over the summer and stayed with my mom and dad (along with my 3 kiddos) for two weeks, because my husband was on a military exercise at the time.

Hello
I am facing menaces repair and patellar tendon repair surgery around Christmas time :(. I have had fibro for 15 yrs and take a high dosage of medications; physical tolerance does slowly increase, not, mental dependance. I am very sorry to read about your situation, it sounds quite difficult. I would like to share with you my experience watching my mother have both knees replaced at the same time in her early 60' s and my mother in law having two seperate hip replacements in her 80' s. Neither one could do basic tasks of daily living for varying months. This is and needs to be accepted by you and family, ahead of time. You will need to seek out daily help divided by husband, family and friends.
Your first few weeks will be spent recovering at a rehab/ nursing home. Upon return home you need house set up for recovery. Look into what that will consist prior to surgery and get the basics done. You can do this!
As for medications, yes please, get PM, involved. A surgeons job is to be the best one you can find with your insurance; insuring best outcome. Ask if there is a solid, surgical reason for decreasing meds prior to surgery. Bleeding time, etc. I would be flabbergasted if this process doesn't allow for adequate pain reflief afterwards. I recall both my relatives being quite medicated at first and by first or second week just enough to cope; by fourth week, ibuprofen. Now, these ladies don't have chronic pain so your later situation will be different.
Don't stress just get better :)
Hope this helped
Blessings

You can read how bad the hip is up top. It's a total hip replacement. Resurfacing is not an option. It's really bad.

I did read it, but I don't understand. It sounds as if a hip replacement will fix the problem. However between now and post surgery you can't get through the day without pain meds? If that's the case, why not elect for a ultrasound or xray guided steroid injection and/or sinvex injection into the hip joint for now.

I had my last appointment with my primary care doctor before surgery and she is coordinating with my surgeon and pain management at the hospital, she says she wants to be a big part of my aftercare. And she will probably end up continuing to prescribe meds for me until I'm done needing them. I wish everyone could have such an understanding doctor to advocate for them. It definitely helps with some of the stress.