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Posted 1/2/2015 4:35 AM (GMT 0)
Mark...Maybe I've missed something, but can you give us a wellness check on your status?  I'm always concerned about you getting the right doctors/surgeons to treat those tumors.  I don't think we've heard from you for well over a month.  I'm worried about you=(  So, if you check in, please give an update!

Hugs~~Dixie

Posted 1/2/2015 7:42 PM (GMT 0)
BUMP=)

MARKH...Hope you'll check in.  I'm concerned about the crickets chirping...How are you?

Hugs~~Dixie

Posted 1/3/2015 6:42 PM (GMT 0)
Well, the tumors are still there of course. They haven't grown more than a few hundredths of a cm in the last year. I think in December of 2013 they were measured at 1.54cm and now they are measuring 1.6cm.

Biopsies are saying they are benign, but the doctors taking the biopsies are saying that they are having a hard time actually getting samples of the tumor tissue due to them being small and the fact that the tumor tissue itself is a very hard tissue. That makes me wonder if the biopsy results of them being benign is accurate.

I've been pushing the surgeon to do the surgery to remove them, but he says that he can't until they are at least 2cm in size. I think it is an insurance thing...like insurance won't pay for the surgery unless they are of a certain size. I'm so sick of having to take so much medication just to manage my symptoms. I am up to 11 prescriptions that I get filled monthly.

Another problem is that they don't show up on an MRI or CT Scan, but only on an EUS(endoscopic ultrasound).

Some new symptoms have arisen. In the last month I have lost 20+lbs without even trying to lose weight. It seems like most of it is fat as I am overweight a little, but I also feel weaker so I think some of it has to be muscle. I can't do anything physical or I become extremely exhausted.

My wife has left me a couple times only to come back a couple weeks later and she actually just left me 3 or 4 days ago and I don't know if she is coming back or not. She is the love of my life and I won't know what to do with myself if she doesn't come back to me. So I a becoming extremely depressed about that...I just can't image life without her by my side. I know it sounds pathetic but right now my days consist of just laying in bed crying. I haven't been able to accomplish anything since all I do anymore is cry. Without my wife by my side I just don't see any reason to continue fighting this and I just want to give up and let it run its course.
Posted 1/3/2015 7:26 PM (GMT 0)
Your doctor should be very concerned with the significant weight loss.  IMO that is directly correlated to the pancreas issues.  I think it is utterly ridiculous that the surgeon will not remove tumors until they grow.  WHAT IF they are malignant?  Then the cancer would be GROWING.  Believe me, I know more than I want to about pre-certification for surgery through insurance.  I would continue to bang on that OR door, insisting they GET ME IN to get those tumors out.  You have to fight, Mark.  You know this, friend.  Refer to previous posts concerning your wife's actions.  If you can get yourself healthy, the next step would be marriage couseling IMO.  Dry your tears...get out of that bed...get in the shower...get dressed...get ready to take your life back.  You do not have the luxury of self-pity at this point.  You are grieving a life that can be saved.  YOU CAN DO THIS.

Hugs~~Dixie

Post Edited (Dixie6) : 1/3/2015 4:15:30 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 1/3/2015 7:49 PM (GMT 0)
I just don't have the desire to do anything about it anymore.
Posted 1/3/2015 11:29 PM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry to hear that.  Chronic illness is exhausting, especially when it affects our digestive issues.  Our belly function is "insignificant" until it's not functioning=(  Then, those of us who suffer with various sources of intense pain...have to also cope with inability to enjoy food without suffering nausea or loose stools/constipation.  I have spent 27 years in this HELL.  I have experienced my husband leaving me for another woman, while I lay in the floor too sick to stand.  I spent that entire Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Years season of 1994-95, alone in the dark, literally.  So Mark, when I say I know how you feel...By God I mean it.  I'm still fighting this battle, but no one can fight it for me.

BTW, we eventually reconciled...and have been married almost 35 years.  Stuff happens, dude.  I keep a shovel handy at all times.  You can either be buried in the crap, or dig your way out.  I'm willing to help, but you've gotta do your part.

I repeat what I said  to you @ 1:26 today.  I care about you.  So does your wife and son.  I have no doubt about that.  Show them your strength!

Hugs~~Dixie

Post Edited (Dixie6) : 1/3/2015 4:34:23 PM (GMT-7)

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