Dear Sick...
First, welcome to our group here. But I am sorry you are suffering so much.... :(
I have lots of experience - unfortunately - with meds and so forth. But, remember, these are just my experiences and everyone is different.
The first thing is that I would never let an insurance company make a suggestion for your medication - especially if it's in regards to money. It sounds like they ARE covering the oxycontin, is that correct? Or are they balking at paying it? I wasn't too clear on that.
Is your PCP your prescribing doctor? Have you seen a pain management doctor? This would be my first suggestion. It's good to see specific specialists - but it sounds like you could really benefit from seeing a PM doc. They can suggest many treatments as well as prescribe medications. I'm sorry - I just would not stand for any doctor to say - "This might get better in 10 years". I'm glad you are seeing a new specialist.
Re: your medication questions - Morphine ER and Oxycontin are in the same category and essentially work in similar ways/strengths. I've been on both - on very high doses of both; and, at one point, was on a combo of both (again, a good pain management doctor will get "creative" (for lack of a better word) and try many different ways of treating the pain).
Re: side effects - it's really too hard to say how one med will affect you in comparison to another, because it varies too much patient to patient. I'm now on Morphine ER (and other strong breakthrough meds)- and I have 8 children to care for daily - and the morphine doesn't affect my energy any more/less than oxycontin does. It doesn't make me any more/less functional to any other pain meds I've been on - but, again, this all varies person-to-person. I have a huge tolerance to meds and, fortunately, not many side effects.
Re: "cheaper" meds - again, this is just me - but I would never switch meds just because there is something cheaper - unless I absolutely had to (because of no insurance, self-pay, etc). If it's just because the insurance is grumbling - that wouldn't be a good enough reason for me...IF your current meds are working. If they aren't - and it sounds like maybe they aren't? - then, that's a different story - and, again, why I'd point you in the direction of a PM doctor. But - just for general info - yes, there are cheaper alternatives to oxycontin.
Anyway, I'm glad you posted. Again, I'm sorry you are suffering so much! I know how hard it is to have pain and to have little ones to take care of. I hope you can figure out the right doctor for you - and, from there, figure out the best pain meds for you to be on.
--Tina