Newbie here

Hi Broken, and welcome. I don't post here as often as I used to, but you've definitely found a kind and caring place to make yourself at home.

Depression and chronic pain go hand in hand for sure - it's very natural to become depressed when you're in constant pain and isolated from the life you ought to be leading - and that's compounded if you've got any underlying depressive illness or tendency toward it for other reasons... I know I have a diagnosis of "secondary reactive depression" because of my pain and health issues, but I also have a family history of depression.

Are you getting any treatment for your problems? Pain management, maybe a pain psych or counsellor? Do you have anything at home, maybe pets or a hobby, that helps distract you?

Hang in there, and I'm sure others will be along to welcome you soon.

Laura

Hello FB & welcome to the chronic pain forum. Glad that you found us, but so sorry you are here. Its amazing the numbers of people that suffer with chronic pain. Most of us suffered in silence until finding this place. One thing this group understands is chronic pain & what it can do to a person.

As Laura said above, depression & chronic pain go hand in hand. One seems to compound the other. Hopefully you can get the depression in check. I am sure you already know, the things you mentioned going on in your post are the typical things CPers go through.

Hopefully at some point you can get your pain levels under better control so that you can enjoy life again. It may not sound possible but it really is. It took me a long time to get there because there are so many different processes we go through. Accepting this new life style is a bitter pill to swallow. But, I do things differently now & some things I am not able to do at all & thats ok too. Acceptance is the key & it sure doesn't happen fast. I have been living with CP over 20 yrs.

I refuse to give up hope & I do hope that you will not give up hope either. There are days that I feel like giving up but I just can't go there. Above all, don't sell yourself short. Yes, its gets old hearing but you sure look like you are doing good, lol. Usually my reply is I am doing fine & in reality considering all of my health issues I think I am. I know my limits but like anyone else I do push them from time to time, but thats ok too. And yes, there is always someone out there a whole lot worse off than I am. I always remind myself of that when I am having a rough time.

Hang in there & keep reading & posting here. There are several threads by folks that have had cervical fusions that have documented their progress from the date of surgery to post op care. Taller Now & Abilene are 2 that have done this. Also, we have some more members that are getting ready to have surgery. So check them out if you feel like reading. Any questions you may have post them here so all will see them.

Take care.

Hello and WELCOME to HW=)  You are now among friends.  We understand your pain.  We understand your sadness.  They seem to intertwine like the vines of Wisteria.  But unlike the sweet smell of those lovely blooms, this pain and sadness STINKS!!!

We don't have all of the answers, but we offer our understanding and compassion.  Most of us have our various methods of coping.  We accept that some days are better than others.  I hope that you'll continue to read and join the conversations! 

~Dixie

Forever, welcome and I too am new here. I noticed you listed thyroid disease and I was going to ask if it is under good control as it sure can mimic depression or just make it worse. I am not saying this is so but I am just curious. Everyone has been very nice and caring and while our reasons for having Chronic Pain may be different, we all share in having it. I agree with Susie, never give up. Rufous

Forever, just my opinion but I think you are right to want it to be tested. Thyroid problems can really impact mood and energy level so I support you having that checked especially if it has been two years. If I read right you have had part of it removed. It can be hard to regulate with medications. This has become so important that often these days when people come to the ER or even to their doctors depressed, the rule of thumb is to check thyroid levels. I'm not a Dr. but can't see harm in checking your thyroid and in fact it seems given your thyroid issues, this would be something done on a regular basis. Rufous

Good evening, Forever. I'm sorry for the physical and emotional pain you've been experiencing. Doing one or the other is difficult in and of itself--getting to do 'em at the same time. Egads... Seems to happen quite frequently with folks attempting to deal with chronic pain.

I'm just being referred back for anti-depressants. Haha...several folks have assured me that I don't look depressed. I'm losing the energy to even care that people might notice, but boy, I work in the mental health field and wouldn't ever try to describe innerworks by outside wrappings.
People are silly that way, but I guess they can only know what they know, huh.
Folks have brought up some very good things that I hope you'll consider.
I don't want to do overload with more, so I'm just here to say "welcome to the board".
Find yourself a comfy chair and make yourself at home!!

Hi Forever Broken let me also Welcome You to Healingwell Chronic Pain Forum! Depression is a sibling of chronic pain usually if you have chronic pain you will also have some level of depression!

When I had to have my first cervical fusion in 1985 I could not sleep laying flat! For many many years I slept in a recliner then I got a hospital bed from the VA and eventually brought my own adjustable bed! So I can definitely empathize with you on that!

Definitely get your thyroid levels checked especially with what you have had done! Thyroid problems can cause so many different symptoms, I think they should be checking your levels regularly!

Anyway just also wanted to Welcome you to the forum!

I wish you well!!

White Beard

I had a bit of a melt down at my family Dr yesterday. He is referring me to a new PMD. He said I'm too complicated for him. I agree. They don't want to increase my pain meds but alternate between different ones. Anyone have any experience with this. Also want to push antidepressants out the bum. This scares me because I live alone and I have had some horrid sideffects from some. To the point where I wanted to harm myself and almost did. So this makes me very anxious. We will see I guess, all I can do is voice my concern I guess. I miss not being able to get into see my shrink as much as I would like to. I moved and it's a 2 hr drive. Physically it's very hard to drive that far. Hope everyone is having a pain free day as possible. Thanks again everyone

Yes I am on long acting and a break through now but like you said I have built up a tolerance to them. They want to switch me to a different pain med, hopefully that will work and answer my prayers. I actually just started to see a counsellor in the town I live in now. I'm reluctant tho, it's a very small town and I fear that things I revel won't stay confidential. All my famy lives here and there is some things that I just don't need getting out. I have only had one session with her so far but I have seemed to click with her. I have had many therapists that I never did feel comfortable with. Hopefully these new steps will help bring me out of this horrible depression I am in. Thanks for your advice.
Cheers :)

Melagain im so happy I made you smile, that makes me smile :)
As far as people to check in with my depression is so severe I have litterly cut myself from all friends. I just feel so sad and I don't want to bring anyone else down with me. I do have family here, my mom and aunt. My aunt is dealing with lung cancer so I don't feel good about asking her for help. And my mom, well even tho she can be great she also can get very mean. Something I don't need. All she does is go on how if I only lost the weight all my problems would be gone. Any single thing I put in my mouth she analyzes. She can be quite manipulative. She worries more of what people think than the health and wellness of her family. Drives me crazy
Cheers :)

Yikes....sounds like the family available aren't really available for you. One has her own battle (though it might give HER a sense of usefulness--cancer is a very isolating disease) and the other.....*sigh* Gotta wonder if she wants something different for her child SO MUCH that she grasps at the only thing she feels she can do.....which, in reality, compounds the problem. But I hear ya--to be on the receiving end of that is definitely a painful thing. Rule mom out as an option, too. But consider this--consider what reconnecting with a friend might give you (and her/him) for the good. Just tossing that out there. Sometimes my craziest ideas are the best--

And I'll tell you why.
Once upon a time I was dealing with breast cancer....and no one knew. They'd tear a lump out, I'd make up a BS reason why my arm was strapped to my chest and I'd keep moving. 4 times I did that. 4 times I refused other treatments and 4 times I lied. The 5th time there wasn't any lying--I wasn't just losing the lump, I was losing the breast....and my hair, cuz chemo needed to happen. I was forced to tell the truth and to tell people I had lied. I didn't want to bother them, didn't want anyone feeling obligated, and (most of all) didn't want to admit I needed help or that I wanted help. I managed to isolate myself away during that lengthy ordeal. I didn't "feel" like I had anyone TO help me. Some knew something was going on, others had no clue.
But someone told me to make the calls, meet with them, humble myself and apologize for lying to them cuz "how dare I cheat others".
I was kinda pissy when it was pointed out to me that way. I didn't think I had lied. I just "stopped telling them the truth". (G'head and laugh at that, I did when I typed it! LOL)
Most folks respected that I did that. It was humbling, but really worth it. I have an awesome support network and some folks that have been through the wringer and back with me, yaknow what I mean?
Maybe someone misses you and wants to be there for you, yaknow?
....k....not sure why I shared all that, but there you have it!! ;-)

I'll leave you to consider it by asking this:....if some called YOU..... Haha, I pull out every trick I can to reconnect people to others that care about them!! And really, most people DO want to be helpful. We all do on some level, I think....
Anyway, enough of my rambling! ;-)

Take care....and keep coming back, eh. We really are a good crew!

*hugs*