Feeling lost

Good Morning! How many children do you have?

I don't have the answers you are searching for, just some thoughts and questions for you to consider. Support Groups have helped me in many situations over the years, but I've always chosen on-line support groups-like this one. Reading what others are dealing with, getting a chance to help someone else sometimes and ask for advice when I need it have all been valuable to me during several health issues. There are people here who have experience in just what you are dealing with who can offer specific help. So yes, support groups are a great help. If you need more than what you find here, find one and get involved!

What kinds of doctors are treating your pain? Has it been re-evaluated recently? Do your doctors know that you are feeling depressed even with an anti depressant? Is your Stimulator working as well as it can? Are there additional forms of treatment that might help more? Ask your doctors and ask here for advice on that. As has been said the pain and depression go together, if you can get better control of one, you can deal with the other one better. We know that's hard to do when you feel this way. Do you have family/friends nearby who are willing to help out?

You are a welcome member of this group! Keep posting about how you are feeling, what helps, what doesn't. WE CARE!

More questions: How long since your initial fusion and what levels was that? When did you get your neurostimulator implanted-just trying to get a timeline. And this pain all started after a car accident 6 years ago, right?

I don't know if a CT scan might show something. Others will have to comment on that. Also I will leave the narcotic issue for others with more experience, but that does need to be discussed. What does your pain management doctor say about that?

What kind of work do you do? Is that a good supportive environment for you? Does your pain interfere with your work? Other than putting your shoe on? :)

Thanks for your quick response. Others on this site with similar experience to you will be able to offer more suggestions.

Do you have any 4th of July plans? We used to live close enough to a park to sit in our yard and watch fireworks. Not now and I miss that. I don't really like to be very close to them, just like to see how pretty they are.

Suggestion: While waiting for the veterans here to join this conversation, read another post-Having chronic illness.... written by Kal123 and the responses to her. It's also on the first page of this forum.

Post Edited (Abilene) : 7/1/2015 9:03:24 AM (GMT-6)

Hi sideneckturtle you mentioned that "you are terrified of becoming dependent on narcotic pain medications" may I ask why? Narcotic pain medications are neither good or bad it is just how and why a person uses them! In the case of using them to relieve pain it the same as a person using heart or blood pressure medications or a host of other medications, you use them to control symptoms or a condition, and most of the time your body becomes dependent on these medications too! Most of them you cannot arbitrarily just quit taking them without suffering dire consequences! Instead, like allot of pain medications you have to be carefully weaned off of them. Tell me what is the difference between taking medications to control dehabilitating pain so you can live a semi normal life, and taking diabetic medication to control your blood sugars so you can lead a fairly normal life? Neither medication cures the problem it just controls it so we can maintain a reasonably normal life style! Just something you might want to ponder???

Also if your stimulator is not controlling your pain, have you possibly considered a pain pump?? Just a thought? Believe me I do understand how your pain might affect your spouse or how you might worry about it affecting your spouse! It is a difficult situation! But don't suffer if you have other means available to better control your pain! Talk with your PM and explore all available and viable alternatives.

I do wish you well! Good luck to you!

White Beard

Let me say this, when a person takes narcotics, over time they can become tolerate to the medication & will either need an increase or a completely different medication. However, this is the potential with any medication taken long term. That is considered abusing their medication. People that are responsible with their meds usually have no problems.

People that abuse their medications are a whole different barrel of apples. If the bottle says take one pill every 8 hours & instead they take 2 pills, yes those people will have a problem. Most people are able to wean off of pain meds when the time comes with the help o their dr.

I am assuming your PM dr has offered you a mild pain medication to use along with your stim but you have refused medication. Thats a shame that you are not well informed about medications because something mild could possibly restore some of your quality of life.

Oh gosh how I remember that feeling of swimming like I had a elephant on my back!! Treading water but never moving! This life is certainly not for the weak so already we know you have the strength to knock that elephant off. Significant others regardless of their status in our lives tend to fear that which they don't understand. Have hubby go to some appointments, talk over his concerns for your future with your Dr's or therapist, I have known those who have actually printed copies of posts to let their loved ones know this journey is not a end of who we are merely a change of how we live. Reassuring him and educating them will help alleviate some of the stress. He may say he fearshhaving you become disabled but likely his fear is of losing you by being misinformed.

Deciding to add narcotics to the arsenal we design for our battle with a chronic pain issue is a big deal decision but first educate yourself on the proper terms and risks. Know the difference between addiction and dependence which I believe you can find in the CP 101 thread at the top of the forum page. We do come to rely on our meds just as we do any treatment that offers relief but we don't turn to harder drugs, we don't end up in Betty Ford or cheap creepy rehabs. We do titrate doses down when we nolonger require pain relief if that ever happens. I can pretty much guarantee that if you take the meds at the minimal amounts required, never stray over the recommend dose suggested and choose the correct medication for you an the amount of pain your experiencing, always use the meds as a last line of defense after all else you won't have a problem or require a rehab. What you will have is a decrease in pain leading to less depression and a more active lifestyle by being able to participate more in daily activities and rejoin the land of the living not existing raising the bar on your overall quality of life. That's not only a plus for you but your family and loved ones. There's no shame in seeking that and no weakness in choosing it.

Support groups whether online or in real life settings offer a opportunity to see how others live with chronic conditions and to hear that your not a odd man out that others think the same thoughts, battle the same wars relieves anxiety and reminds us how much worse others are and we could be. This life is all about trial and error, learning as we go, exploring new territory and having the support of those who have travelled it before you is priceless.

So very glad you found Healing Well and hopefully we can share with you and you can in turn share with others.

Thank you all for your very thoughtful responses. I have a phone consult with my Pain doc tomorrow. You're right, I am not very educated about pain killers. I commute a long distance to work. Do they stop you from being able to drive?

I love turtles and just acquired an African sideneck turtle from a family that didn't want it anymore. Hence the name.